1. Aries

You are one of the funniest zodiac signs, but people don’t see that right away. Only when they spend some time with you and when you relax, they will see how fun to talk to and easy going you are.

Whenever you talk, everyone else listens, but once you finish half of the joke, people are already rolling around on the floor laughing. You have a talent for telling funny stories, and when you tell some, you never laugh. Maybe that’s why people find it interesting and fun.

You got used to crap in your life, so there will be a lot of times when you will do something that is not good for you, but you won’t admit it because you are ashamed of people’s reactions. You fall in love pretty easily, so you will have a lot of partners. You will never be able to get over the previous one and fully be in love with the next one, so you will always fight with women.

Eres un amigo muy entregado, por lo que tus amigos se sentirán protegidos y seguros cuando estén contigo. Cuando alguien te toque donde eres sensible, le mostrarás tu lado más badass, y tus cuernos probablemente acabarán en su culo.

2. Taurus

Eres como una montaña rusa emocional todo el tiempo. En un momento estás arriba, y en otro estás tan abajo que nadie puede ayudarte. Pero lo más importante es que siempre encuentras una salida.

Your main characteristic is that you like to exaggerate, so you will tell people that you did something even if you didn’t just to look good in their eyes. For example, you can tell someone that you slept with that hot girl standing at the bar just to show them what you are capable of.

But in fact, that was the first time you saw that girl. You like to show off because that is what makes you feel good. You are always in a hurry, but in fact, you don’t know where to go. You are energetic, anxious and pushy, and you want to finish things on time.

Te gusta tener siempre la razón, así que te peleas con cualquiera si quieres. Eso es lo que te llena y te hace sentir bien contigo mismo. Eres bastante testarudo, por lo que probablemente guardes rencor y culpes a los demás de cosas que nunca hicieron.

Pero en general, tienes un corazón puro y limpio, ¡y una sonrisa de un millón de dólares!

3. Géminis

Eres una especie de mezcla de filósofo y cómico. Al principio eres bastante tímido, pero cuando conoces a la gente que te rodea, te relajas y empiezas a contar todo tipo de locuras.

Estás ansioso y tranquilo al mismo tiempo, y siempre te preocupan las cosas sin importancia. Te peleas sin sentido con ancianos y te sientes genial cuando los ves huir de ti.

You don’t know how to dance well, so you get drunk at parties, and you look like you are hunting someone in the room. People like you because you are fun and easygoing, but the truth is that you don’t love people—only those who, by your taste smell well.

You pay attention to personal hygiene, so you will take a shower 3 times a day if needed, but you don’t want people to tell you that you stink. When with women, you think of all the things you will ask them in advance just to make sure that everything goes by plan. You are pretty anxious, and sometimes that is what makes you look so funny but at the same time sweet and positive.

4. Cáncer

La pega contigo es que te metes en mucha mierda todo el tiempo, y en vez de contárselo todo a tus amigos, te burlas de ti mismo y de tu mala suerte.

Me alegro por ti de que hoy en día esté bien burlarse de uno mismo porque a nadie le parecerá raro. No eres el tipo de persona a la que le gusta tanto salir, así que puedes quedarte en casa dos semanas y seguir pasándotelo bien.

You are also not talented for any sports because you lose your breath even when you climb the stairs. That’s why every day for you is Friday and a Netflix kind of chill, and you enjoy it. You are a good friend, and people often take advantage of that.

Even if you are the friend who always drives drunk people home, they don’t cherish you for that. Maybe it is the truth that you simply have bad luck and that no matter how much you try, you can’t be happy and relaxed because danger might always come uninvited.

5. Leo

No es desconocido que te gusta ser el centro de atención allá donde vas, pero para la mayoría de la gente eso es irritante de cojones. Siempre interrumpes a los demás mientras hablas. Atrapas a todas las chicas aunque ya tengas una, y compites bebiendo cerveza sólo para lucirte delante de algunas chicas.

Pero el truco está en que, debajo de todo eso, hay un chico tímido que sólo quiere ser apreciado y aceptado. Esta es la única razón por la que hace mierdas como aporrear la puerta cuando algo no es como quería y actuar como un malote delante de sus rivales.

Lo único que te importa es gustar a la gente y que vean en ti a un héroe. Lo creas o no, aún vives en la época de los héroes que salvan el mundo, y tú te consideras el principal.

You don’t think falling in love is important, so you’d rather seduce a couple of girls at the same time, promise eternal love to each one of them, and vanish as soon as you get in their panties.

6. Virgo

Lo más gracioso de ti es que eres un loco de la limpieza. Limpias hasta los sitios que no son tuyos como los baños públicos o el transporte público.

You can’t live where it is a lot of dirt, so going for a barbecue in nature is a mission impossible for you. And because of that, your friends laugh at you. They can’t believe that someone is obsessed with cleaning so much. It is like you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder.

But no matter how much everyone laughs at you, you never stop what you started. You always make sure that you wear underwear, two socks of the same color, and your hair needs to be air-dried every time to prevent damaging. You always take care of yourself, and you can’t relax.

Pero debes saber que preocuparte demasiado puede hacerte quedar mal ante los demás y agotarte por completo. Así que sería estupendo que echaras el freno y salga de su zona de confort. Estoy seguro de que le gustará.

7. Libra

You are crazy as fuck and whatever you say becomes a hilarious joke! You like to tell jokes about others but about yourself as well. That’s why people like you, and they always spend time with you.

Your bad side is that you like to tell some white lies which always make you look better than you are. You don’t do that because you are evil but just so people would accept you more easily.

Cuando estás con mujeres, les cuentas chorradas sobre tus aventuras por el mundo y sobre cómo salvas a niños y ancianas inocentes. Lo haces para quedar bien con ellas y meterte en sus bragas más fácilmente.

Cuando lo piensas más, parece que lo único que te mantiene vivo es el sexo con desconocidos y la cerveza importada. Probablemente venderías a tu propia madre por una oportunidad con un buen par de piernas, y dormirías como un bebé después.

8. Escorpio

The thing about you is that you think that you are funny, but you are actually not. Wherever you tell jokes, people just roll their eyes and leave the room because you tell some things that a child in 2nd grade wouldn’t tell.

But that is not the reason to not laugh at your own jokes and make others think what the hell is wrong with you. You are pretty relaxed in life, so it doesn’t matter to you if you wear a creased shirt and if your pants are dirty from yesterday’s football game.

You still think that you are amazing and because of that you have enormous self-esteem which nobody can ruin. With girls, you are pretty honest, and you don’t know to play mind games to bring them into bed.

En cambio, te utilizan de todas las formas posibles, pero nunca piensas mal de ellos porque eres un verdadero caballero.

9. Sagitario

Cuando entras en la habitación, todos se callan porque saben que dirás algo gracioso. O probablemente tropezarás con algo en el suelo y te caerás, así que también te reirás con ellos.

You are so clumsy, and you never even try to work on that. You just go with the flow, and you don’t worry what will happen next.

Even when you are trying to seduce a woman, you don’t try so much, so there is a chance that you will try to seduce a girl while there is bolognese sauce around your mouth. You think that enjoying life is the most important thing and that you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff.

You live every day like it is your last, and you don’t regret all the things you did. If you had another chance, you would probably do them in the same way.

10. Capricornio

You don’t like to laugh and to share your ‘moments’ with others. Instead, you always remain serious, and you keep your mouth shut, looking at others and evaluating them in your head.

That’s why some people might think of you as a weird guy who just sits in the company of people he never shares anything with. But you have a hard time relaxing in front of strangers, especially when you know that if you say something, it would probably be the dumbest thing ever.

That happens because you are pretty nervous, and you would like others to like you. So, those who don’t know you can give up on trying to talk to you because all they will get is a cheesy face and a fart because of your anxiousness.

A veces, es mejor dejar a la gente en paz que presionarla, ¿verdad? De lo contrario, pueden ocurrir cosas muy graves.

11. Acuario

You do whatever you like and you don’t give a damn about what others might think about it. You hobby is singing, and you do it no matter where you are. In most cases, it looks like someone shot you, and you are crying because of the pain.

That’s why people find you annoying because they see that you don’t think of them at all. You see that you are sometimes annoying as well, but you don’t give a fuck about that. You have a restless spirit ,and if you want to run around naked, you will do that.

You don’t mind what people might think about you, and you always do things your way. In love you are extremely relaxed, so in most cases, your partner will leave you because you didn’t make enough effort.

You think that once you find a partner, you don’t need to do anything else, but that way of thinking can sometimes cost you a lot.

12. Piscis

The catch about you is that you want to be funny by telling jokes about sex, but you don’t know that you tell those jokes badly, so you should quit telling them.

You are always trying to show off to those around you, telling things that didn’t happen. You want others to look at you like at God himself, but you are not doing anything to be the best version of yourself. You don’t know how to keep secrets, so most people find you childish.

You always say that you will do something, but in the end, you do whatever you want. You have a soft heart for animals, and you suffer when they suffer, but you don’t mind if some people die. You think that it is the way things are supposed to happen, and you just get over it. You are pretty funny by just showing up because you never know how to match your pants with your shirt.

Y lo mejor es que se te ve medio culo cada vez que te agachas. ¡Sí, como un fontanero!