Cómo recuperar la confianza después de haber sido engañado

Ser engañado puede cambiarte seriamente in so many ways. And it’s no surprise that not only your heart broke into pieces because you were betrayed by someone you love but you can’t shake that feeling that someone you cared so much about picked somebody else over you, and it hurts so damn much.

Y pensar así es el mayor error que cometemos. Empezamos a buscar la causa del engaño en nosotros mismos.

Daña gravemente nuestra autoestima o incluso nos hace perderla por completo.

We start comparing ourself to that other woman, seeing her pros and cons and comparing them with our own. We are desperately trying to see what she has that we don’t.

En realidad terminamos culparnos a nosotros mismos in a way. We start questioning if we were enough, if we loved deeply enough, if our looks and our intelligence were enough, if our behavior didn’t go down well with him, if there was something we could have done differently to change the outcome—and the list goes on.

Lo único que conseguimos pensando así es desviarnos y perder la confianza.

Of course it’s not about us. Of course we are good enough, we are beautiful, we have all the love, respect and understanding within us, and we gave our absolute best.

Por supuesto que somos más que suficientes.

The truth is that person who cheated wasn’t good enough for us and he is the only one to blame in this situation.

This way of thinking has to stop immediately. If we let it go on, it will only ruin our social relationships, work relationships, future love relationships and the most important relationship of all—the one we have with ourself.

That’s why we have to take some steps and win back our confidence:

Date cuenta de que su mal comportamiento no tiene nada que ver contigo

Usted no es el culpable de esta situación. Él es la única razón y la única causa de su engaño.

Y aunque te dé numerosas razones y excusas poco convincentes, la razón por la que hizo lo que hizo es que tiene baja autoestima.

He cheated so he could feel good about himself, so he could boost his confidence by charming other women into his bed. Isn’t that as low as he can get?

Intenta ver las cosas desde otro ángulo

Maybe all this heartache and pain happened because God is trying to protect you from everything that’s not meant for you.

Maybe you wouldn’t have opened your eyes to everything else that was bad in the relationship if it hadn’t been for the cheating.

I know it hurts now but one day you will wake up next to the love of your life and thank your ex for cheating on you and being such a low life, as if he hadn’t you would never have met somebody a million times better than him.

Todo lo que ocurre en la vida es una lección en sí misma. Algunas lecciones son dolorosas, otras son indoloras, pero todas nos enseñan algo valioso y nos llevan a los lugares que están destinados para nosotros.

Rodéate de gente positiva

Lo peor que puedes hacer ahora es estar solo y pensar demasiado las cosas. En lugar de darle demasiadas vueltas a las cosas después de haber sido engañadoPasa tiempo con tus amigos y tu familia. Siempre están ahí para ti pase lo que pase y son tu mayor apoyo. Siempre estarán ahí para escucharte y demostrarte cuánto te quieren.

You shouldn’t keep your feelings bottled up inside. If you lose track of yourself or your worth, they will remind you just how valuable you are. They will build up your self-esteem in no time.

Asegúrate de agradecérselo. Son tu grupo de apoyo y aportan valor tanto a tu vida como tú a la suya.

Haz algo por ti

Lying in bed and crying can be beneficial for a short period of time but you can’t waste too many of your tears on somebody who is unworthy of you. For me in situations like this, spite did the trick.

I got back up from that just to prove to him and to myself that he didn’t get the best of me. I found strength somewhere inside of me; even though my heart was broken, I wasn’t about to quit on myself.

I started doing things I always wanted to do but kept postponing—I started a gym class, I got some new hobbies and tried new activities. In doing that, I met new people.

Siempre estaba haciendo algo, creciendo, evolucionando, y eso me daba más energía.

Encuentra lo que te interesa y dedícate a ello. Necesitas retos y diversión en tu vida y sentirte orgulloso de ti mismo.

Go easy on yourself. Healing is never easy and it’s a long process but you will get there.

Work on getting your confidence back—don’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you down. As you start to take care of yourself more, you will care less and less about him.

Cuando recuperes completamente la confianza en ti misma, él no será más que un recuerdo lejano.