7 consecuencias perjudiciales de perseguir a un chico que no quiere ser atrapado

Have you ever found yourself running after a man who clearly doesn’t want you? After a man who can never give you what you want and who will never love you enough?

If you have, you’ll be well aware of how painful this situation can be. It’s not that you end up heartbroken–your ego is ruined, as well.

However, besides this pain, chasing a guy who doesn’t want to get caught brings numerous other long lasting consequences. Here are seven of them.

1. Desaparece tu sentimiento de autoestima

The first consequence of chasing a guy who doesn’t want to be yours, is that you lose all sense of your self value.

You can’t help but take this man’s rejection personally and after a while, you convince yourself that there is something wrong with you.

You wonder why the man you are into can’t love you and doesn’t want you. What do you need to change about yourself to become more appealing and attractive to him?

After all, you’ve done everything in your power to win him over.

You’ve put in maximum effort and given him your best self but even so, he hasn’t had the decency to choose you.

So, you come to the conclusion that you’re insuficiente para él.

You don’t know whether it’s your looks, your character, or something else but the bottom line is that you’re missing something and all your efforts can’t seem to compensate for it.

En consecuencia, pierdes tu autoestima y empiezas a encontrar defectos en tu aspecto y personalidad, tratando de encontrar la causa de su indiferencia.

Not only that–you also go as far as comparing yourself to all the other girls around him. What do they have that you don’t?

RELACIONADO: Deja de perseguirle y mira lo que pasa (6 cosas increíbles)

2. Te sientes agotado

Después de un tiempo corriendo detrás de un hombre que nunca te quiso en primer lugar, es natural sentirse cansada y emocionalmente agotada.

It’s like the chase and all of the mind games you’ve been trying to play have gotten the best of you.

They’ve taken away your energy and sucked the life out of you, leaving you completely drained and empty.

You feel like you’ve just gotten out of a war–and this is exactly what this was: a battle which you didn’t have the slightest chance of winning.

Naturally, this experience has changed you. It’s turned you into a negative and bitter person who has lost her optimism and will to live.

Lo peor es que todo este esfuerzo ha sido en vano. Has invertido mucho de ti mismo para acabar quedándote sin nada.

De hecho, has conseguido perderte a ti mismo y la visión positiva que tenías del mundo en el proceso. Y eso no es ni lo que querías ni lo que esperabas.

3. You have relationship problems with someone you’re not in a relationship with

Entre otras cosas, la consecuencia más perjudicial es sin duda tener problemas de pareja with someone you’re not in an actual relationship with.

De hecho, estás en una especie de situación indefinida, una casi relación, o como demonios quieras llamarlo.

Either way, the point is that you have the arguments, the jealous outbursts, the anxiety when he doesn’t respond to your texts. You have the lack of trust, understanding, and compromise.

I won’t lie to you–some of these things also happen in real relationships. Not all the time, but even if they do, it’s not the end of the world and a couple will work to overcome them.

Every relationship has its negative sides. Nevertheless, sometimes, it’s worth putting up with them because of all the good things your romance brings.

Al fin y al cabo, tienes a una persona que te quiere y te respeta, y a alguien que sabes que nunca te abandonará.

Sin embargo, cuando se trata de tu situación sentimental, las cosas son muy distintas. Tienes problemas de relación y todos los aspectos negativos de un romance sin los positivos.

¡Y eso apesta!

4. Te vuelves inseguro

Another dangerous consequence of chasing a guy who doesn’t want to be caught is the inseguridades que provoca.

Without even planning it, you apply your overthinking state of mind to everyone–not just to your almost boyfriend.

It is perfectly normal to have lost your trust in everyone and not believe in anyone’s intentions anymore. You are convinced that everyone is out to get you and wants to hurt you.

Moreover– you overthink your every move, in constant fear of making a mistake and doing something wrong.

Without even being aware of it, you’ve become a people pleaser and you’ve started walking on eggshells around everyone because you are afraid that they will also think of you as not enough and reject you the same way this guy did.

Por supuesto, no hay nada malo en reflexionar antes de actuar.

Sin embargo, hay una gran diferencia entre ser prudente y cuidadoso y analizar y diseccionar cada movimiento antes de hacerlo.

5. Pierdes muchas oportunidades

You’re someone who can only focus on one guy at a time.

You don’t give a damn whether he’s worthy of your attention or whether he is giving you any positive feedback–when you love a man, you have eyes only for him.

This is a great quality when you’re in a relationship with someone who is also one hundred percent loyal, faithful, and devoted.

On the other hand, when you’re the sólo uno intentándolo cariñoso, este rasgo puede tener consecuencias perjudiciales.

Verás, mientras ibas detrás de ese hombre al que nunca le importaste un bledo, perdiste un montón de buenas oportunidades.

Hubo muchos chicos guapos que intentaron ligar contigo, pero tú no te diste cuenta porque eras ciega de vista.

Even though you’re not actually taken, this is exactly how you behave: as if you were in a serious relationship, when you should be putting yourself out there.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advising you to deliberately enter a rebound relationship, I’m just begging you to at least take into consideration someone who deserves you.

6. Tienes ansiedad por las relaciones

Después de las muchas decepciones que te ha hecho pasar este hombre, es natural que acabes teniendo ansiedad en las relaciones.

You assume that every time you give it a shot with someone new, it will always be the same: you’ll find yourself begging for love from a man who keeps pushing you away while simultaneously giving you just enough false hope to keep you around.

Así que en lugar de intentar algo nuevo, construyes muros alrededor de tu corazón.

Of course, this doesn’t happen right away and you’re probably unaware of it at this point, but when you fall out of love with this douchebag and think you’re ready to give love another shot, it will hit you.

You’ll realize that, as much as you try, you’re unable to relax and give your entire self.

You’ll become overly careful and terrified of romantic relationships because you won’t see a chance for any of them to work out.

Si esto es algo con lo que te sientes identificada, ten en cuenta que no todo el mundo es como tu casi ex.

As much as it’s scary to lower your guard, there are men out there who are worthy of the risk.

7. Pierdes el tiempo

When you first fall in love with a man who doesn’t want you back, you don’t see it as a big deal.

You think you’ll try to win him over once or twice before you give up on him and forget he ever existed.

However, things don’t work that way. Before you know it, you find yourself trapped in a seemingly endless circle of his rejections and realize that nothing has gone the way you planned.

Lo peor es que, sin que te des cuenta, el tiempo pasa en un abrir y cerrar de ojos. Y tus emociones se intensifican en el proceso, en lugar de desvanecerse.

Terminas años de desgaste en alguien que nunca mereció ni un minuto de tu tiempo. Años que podrías y deberías haber invertido en otra cosa.

¿Cuántas veces has pasado tiempo pensando en él, cuando podrías haber estado durmiendo plácidamente?

¿Cuántas lágrimas, cuánta energía y esfuerzo has tirado por la borda, sin posibilidad de recuperarlos jamás?

And most importantly–how many years do you plan on wasting, waiting for a miracle which will never come?

I bet even you don’t know the answer. So, why exactly do you keep on doing this to yourself?