Have you ever felt that terrible feeling in your stomach when something tells you to be cautious? Your partner is suddenly cold and distant, hides his phone, and that brings the worst thoughts to your mind.
“Is he cheating on me? Have I done something wrong?” – we all asked ourselves these questions at some point. But what if he’s not cheating physically? That kind of betrayal is usually easier to spot on but any kind of affair leaves permanent pain and trust issues.
As someone who has dealt with emotional infidelity, unfortunately, I’ve had a chance to learn how to recognize it easily. If you doubt your man even for a bit, don’t brush that feeling off, and let me tell you what signs gave off my partners every single time!
1. He’s glued to his phone
We’ve all been there, endlessly scrolling through social media not even realizing how much time had passed. However, he’s busy on his phone all the time. There’s no way TikTok is more interesting than spending time with you!
Have you ever tried to take his phone for a second to check something random like time and he acted like a kid when you take their favorite toy? Oh girl, that’s an obvious sign!
My friend Jenna found out her husband had been texting his old link because he started taking his phone to the bathroom! And at night he would hide it under his pillow! So, if this sounds familiar, watch out.
2. Excuses, excuses and more excuses
Do you feel like he always gives you excuses for everything? If he only gave you a dollar every time he had an excuse for something, you’d be on Forbes’s list of the top richest people in the world!
All of a sudden his company is thriving so he stays up late working, and every weekend there’s another friend he hasn’t seen in years he needs to catch up with.
Pase lo que pase, he always tries to justify himself. If his excuses are piling up quicker than dirty dishes, you’re right for having doubts.
3. He became a stranger in the bedroom
There might be more reasons for physical intimacy slowly fading away but he doesn’t even acknowledge it. Although you live together it feels like you’re college roommates and not life partners!
Men are usually not the ones to run away from playing under the sheets, so if they start to do that and do it often, something’s not right!
My friend told me that one of the first reasons she started questioning her husband was when he avoided any kind of physical intimacy and rather spent time on his phone. Turns out, he was chatting with his “work wife” every night!
4. He’s more mysterious than Sherlock Holmes
I remember when my boyfriend began his little adventure. Although I didn’t know anything about it yet, I noticed he started acting differently. On top of that, you could see guilt was written all over his face!
As soon as he starts giving you lame answers when you ask him where he’s been or he gets defensive when you ask him where he’s going, just know something’s fishy. When they don’t have anything to hide, they also don’t have a problem to be honest.
Sometimes they’re a bit more discrete and will just start developing new hobbies which isn’t something you would find sketchy at first. But if he never includes you in his “fun activities”, better be sure his hobby might look like a tall blonde woman.
5. Critical only when it comes to you
I remember when everyone in the building talked about Mary and her husband. They were a lovely older couple but then something changed.
You could often hear them fight, or to be more clear, you could hear Henry yelling about everything. From the way she washed dishes, to how she cooked or moved spices to another kitchen cabinet, he nitpicked her every move.
This often happens when they feel guilty and want to find something you’re doing wrong so they can justify themselves. It might also be that there are some troubles in paradise in his other relationship so he takes his frustrations out on you.
6. Unreachable and ice cold
He would always update you throughout the day on his whereabouts but now he can’t even answer what he wants for dinner? Yeah, that sounds like something I’ve experienced.
It’s not even just texting and ghosting, he’s always so cold and there’s no emotional connection anymore.
When you’re having a conversation you might as well speak to the wall, it would feel the same. And even if he listens, it seems like he doesn’t care about anything going on in your life.
7. Your intuition warns you
Thank God he gifted us our lovely sixth sense – intuition. So what are you waiting for? Use it, woman!
This might be even the biggest sign because let me tell you, my gut never lied to me! You just need to learn how to trust it. It might be a good idea to speak with him about any doubts you might be having especially if you carry trust issues from past relationships.
His reaction will be a good answer to your question. If he calms you down, reassures you, and explains there’s nothing wrong then maybe there really isn’t. However, if he gets defensive and angry, this should raise some red flags.
I know an emotional affair can be as hurtful as a physical one, but it doesn’t necessarily mean an end to your relationship. If both sides are willing to talk about it honestly, you can slowly rebuild the trust and make your relationship stronger than ever.