Have you ever loved the one that seems to be allergic to commitment? Yeah, we all did. I spent ages trying to figure out how to attract him and make him stay. However, he always kept running away when there was even the slightest chance of a serious relationship.
I know it can be incredibly frustrating when you really want him and you see he likes you too but he just can’t take that next big step.
I turned to dating coaches and read numerous blogs where they revealed why men are hesitant to commit and what makes them stay. They all agreed guys with commitment issues want a woman who:
1. Avoids unnecessary drama
No one wants a relationship that’s like the most dramatic Spanish telenovela, right? Drama is a huge turn-off for these guys.
Take this as an example. My car once broke down on the way to our date and instead of freaking out, I just called a tow truck and laughed with him about this inconvenience. He said he would hate it if I was the type of person to panic and cause drama over this.
Being with a woman who’s a drama queen and makes a problem out of every little thing is pretty exhausting. And annoying if we’re honest. Just talk through any issues you might have and keep your cool. He’ll appreciate that more than you think.
People who are unwilling to commit are often like that for a reason. Maybe they’ve been in a relationship that was nothing but arguments and stupid fights so now they’re scared of reliving that experience again. If you keep things peaceful and chill, he’ll stay around forever.
2. Creates safe space and understands
Men with commitment issues carry a lot of baggage, either from failed relationships or their past lives and even childhood. You need to be ready and able to handle all the emotional mess that comes in a package with them.
You might be his first serious and healthy relationship so there’ll probably be a lot of work to do until he feels comfortable with you and lets his true personality shine.
Create a judgment-free zone if you want him to open up so he finally gets a sense that someone is willing to listen and understand him. You don’t need to be his psychologist, just give yourself time to build trust and that’ll be a huge step towards your commitment.
3. Enjoys life and keeps it interesting
Forget about being lazy and spending your days binge-watching Netflix shows. Get up and explore the world!
If you wanna attract him, it’s time to think about being more spontaneous. Plan an unexpected trip away, do things out of your comfort zone, and apply for that cooking course you’ve always wanted! These men want something new every day, both unpredictable and fun!
I once went to one of those wine&paint events with my “hard to catch” date and mind you, I don’t even know how to hold a brush, let alone paint a whole picture! My attempt at painting definitely turned into something nowhere near artistic, unlike his work of art. But he found it funny and we had a great time!
By being adventurous and fun, you’ll always keep things interesting so he’ll want to stay and be part of your journey. Also, every new experience is an excellent opportunity for bonding, and making memories which can only draw you closer together!
4. Goes with the flow and doesn’t stress
It’s the same as with unnecessary drama – they want peace. I know you really want to put a stamp on your relationship but slow down! There’s enough time and no need to rush that process.
Enjoy the ride, let everything happen at its own pace, and show him you’re not desperate. Constantly pushing him and adding additional pressure will scare him away. And that’s not something you want.
You want to be his calm place, someone he thinks about when he’s stressed and knows you’d calm him down just by being there. That’s why you need to have laid-back energy and trust me, if you do, he will never let you go.
5. Has her interests and is not clingy
If there’s something men are scared of more than commitment, it’s having someone glued to them 24/7. They don’t want to be with someone who acts obsessively. Feeling required to please someone’s needs every millisecond is just tiring.
When you have your own thing going on it makes you instantly more attractive to everyone! Why? Because you show your happiness and well-being don’t depend on someone else. You can enjoy a day without them and let them have their freedom without holding resentment.
I used to think I needed to leave everything behind when I got into a relationship and this wasn’t healthy at all. It just created unnecessary chaos in our lives because I wouldn’t let him breathe.
Having your own hobbies and interests is good for you as well. It can help you lead a fulfilled life and at the same time, it’ll take the pressure off him.
I think the universe works in mysterious ways. You’ll see that the moment you stop chasing something, it’ll come your way.
Besides this, it’s important to know that some people are just not destined for us and that’s okay. Maybe not having them as part of your life is actually good for you.
By letting go of what’s not good for you, you’re making space for what is meant for you. However, these traits are good to have just in case!