10 coisas essenciais a fazer antes da sua próxima relação

Começar uma nova relação depois de um desgosto amoroso é um pouco difícil. É preciso dedicar muito tempo e esforço para renascer das cinzas e seguir em frente.

Talvez tenha sido abusado ou manipulado numa relação anterior, o que o levou a ter problemas de confiança, mas acredita que conhecer alguém novo e começar uma nova relação o pode ajudar a curar-se.

Because of the reason that starting a new relationship when you’re not ready for it can only break you even more, there are a few things that you should consider before you decide that you want a serious relationship again.

1. Curar

I know that it’s easier said than done but no matter how much time it takes you, you have to heal!

By starting a new relationship when you’re this broken, you can only break your own heart or the heart of your new partner. It doesn’t bring anything good to anyone.

Também, you can’t expect your partner to help you heal. That’s your job! You are the only one to whom you should go for advice on healing to become happy with yourself.

2. Dar tempo a si próprio

Don’t rush it! Give yourself all the time that’s needed in order to be sure that you are finally over your ex. There’s no need to rush into the next relationship because it simply won’t bring you anything good.

You won’t be prepared for the commitment and all the things that come together with a new relationship. So why jump into it?

Give yourself time to do all the things you weren’t able to do while you were in your previous relationship.

3. Torna-te quem sempre quiseste ser

You probably have a picture of the perfect woman in your mind. That woman isn’t someone the media presents you as but your own unique version of someone you want to become.

Por isso, força! Torna-te a mulher durona que sempre quiseste ser.

Vai atrás da tua paixão, encontra um emprego fantástico, continua os teus estudos, veste todas aquelas roupas malucas que queres vestir. Prometo-te que haverá alguém que se apaixonará por ti, tal como tu te amas a ti próprio.

4. Tornar-se independente

Aprender a apanhar uma aranha sozinho. Aprender a mudar um pneu. Pagar sozinho todas as suas refeições.

Tomar decisões importantes na sua vida. Faça todas estas coisas para mostrar a si próprio que you don’t actually need a man mas que queres um.

Becoming independent means that you are ready to live your life with or without a man—because you will be able to take care of yourself.

5. Data

I know that you can’t find someone who will know exactly what you want in a relationship but you can come close to it by knowing it yourself.

O que é necessário para se sentir feliz, amado e apreciado? Só pode saber isso namorando consigo próprio.

Saia para jantar e descubra os seus restaurantes preferidos. Compre flores e chocolate para si.

Conheça-se verdadeiramente a si próprio, os seus desejos e necessidades, para poder dizer o que quer numa relação da próxima vez que alguém lhe perguntar.

6. Passar tempo com os amigos

Now is the right time to catch up with all of your friends you didn’t have the time for before. Go on road trips together, have a shoulder to lean on and a support group.

Ri-te! Sair e embebedar-se com eles.

If you look hard enough, you’ll see that you aren’t alone in this world. Your friends will show you that there is life after heartbreak and that they are there for you whenever you truly need them.

7. Faz uma lista das coisas que fizeste mal

One day, when you have enough time, just sit down and write a list of all the things you think that you did wrong in the relationship. Don’t be harsh on yourself but instead be rather realistic.

By doing this you will know which aspects of your behavior in relationships you have to work on. If you always care too much and you end up spoiling your partner then I think that it’s finally time to find a way to not do it again.

8. Pergunte a si próprio porque é que quer estar numa relação

Do you think that you’re just trying to convince yourself? Sente-se só??

Do you think that it’s easier to be in a relationship? Or maybe you don’t have a reason for it at all?

If you can’t convince yourself with the answers of why you want to be in a relationship again, if it’s not reason enough, then don’t. You’ll be happier that you didn’t start a relationship before you were actually ready.

9. Fazer encontros casuais

Just see how you will react to casual dating. Don’t let them into your home, don’t have sex, just dinner.

Dating is OK, because you’re not rushing into a new relationship but rather you’re having some fun with people you find to be interesting. There is a difference.

10. Perdoar

Don’t rush into the next relationship still carrying the weight of the previous one. There’s no need for you to hold grudges.

Rather let go and forgive. I know that it’s hard, I know that if he deserved to be forgiven you would still be together. But forgive.

O seu peito sentir-se-á mais leve. Perdoe todos os erros que aconteceram na sua relação e continue a sua vida sem nenhum fardo para carregar. Merece-o.