10 dicas de namoro para o nerd introvertido em um mundo extrovertido

Os encontros modernos são desafiantes e difíceis para toda a gente. Mas pode ser especialmente difícil para os nerds e os geeks.

You might wonder why that is so. Well, let’s face it—we live in an extroverted world, and most of the people have a tendency to judge a book by its covers. It means that they pay a lot of attention to the way you look and to your social skills, without being patient enough to dig underneath the surface and to look for other qualities most single nerds have.

Are you a self-proclaimed, introverted nerd who enjoys most of the things outside the mainstream? Do you enjoy playing video games, reading comic books and you are into sci-fi? Would you agree that you don’t like going to clubs and big events, and you prefer spending quiet evenings by yourself or with your closest friends? Isn’t it true that all of this isn’t making it easy for you to encontrar o amor?

Estamos aqui para o ajudar, porque aqui estão 10 dicas eficazes de encontros para nerds que irão certamente ajudar todos os nerds a encontrar o seu par ideal.

1. Aceitar-se a si próprio

A primeira coisa que precisa de fazer quando se coloca no mercado dos encontros é ser você mesmo. Eu sei que isto é algo que a maioria das pessoas lhe dirá para fazer, mas raramente lhe darão conselhos sobre como o fazer.

One of the worst things you can do when you are trying to attract a person of the opposite sex is to pretend you are someone you are not just for her to like you more. Firstly, she will see right through your intentions. Even if you manage to pull this off and if you manage to persuade her that you are someone you are not, sooner or later, your mask will fall off, and she’ll be disappointed in you. Besides, acting will only make you feel bad about yourself, and you’ll never know if this girl is really into you or she actually likes the person you invented.

Tu não és como toda a gente. Em vez de considerar este facto como uma desvantagem da sua personalidade, comece a vê-lo como a sua maior vantagem em relação a todos os outros tipos que andam por aí!

2. Aceitar a outra pessoa

Da mesma forma que deve trabalhar para se aceitar a si próprio como realmente é, também deve tentar aceitar a outra pessoa.

Don’t judge a book by its cover, and don’t try to make assumptions about a girl just by looking at her. You may think that a girl is shallow just because she puts a lot of time and energy into her looks or just because she listens to different music or likes things you are not interested in. You may think that the two of you don’t have anything in common just because she doesn’t share your Star Trek passions or because she hasn’t read Harry Potter.

But this doesn’t have to be the case. This girl might be a sua alma gémea e a pessoa que procura, apesar de todas as vossas diferenças. Por isso, em vez de tentar encontrar alguém que seja exatamente igual a si, abra a sua mente a diferentes possibilidades.

And when you find someone who stands outside of your box, don’t try to change her, and don’t allow her to change you. Instead, enjoy this person’s differences, and use them as an opportunity to expand your horizons and to learn something new.

3. Pedir conselhos a outros

The truth is that your character and personality are the most important things about you. But let’s face it—we are social and visual beings, and if you want to attract a girl, you have to work on your first impression. That means that she needs to like what she sees and hears when she first meets you.

The best way to improve your social skills, your looks and your clothing is to rely on the feedback of people who are close to you. Don’t get me wrong—I am not advising you to let anyone change the essence of who you are just so you could be more likeable to girls. I am just telling you to ask for an opinion of the way you look and the way you are dressed from someone close to you before you go out with a girl.

4. Trabalhar a sua autoestima

You know for a fact that most girls like men who are sure about themselves. Men who know what they want and aren’t afraid to get it.

And when you look at yourself, you know you have a lot to offer but you simply can’t find a way to express this in the right way. The problem is in your lack of confidence.

Não estou a dizer-lhe para se tornar subitamente uma pessoa extrovertida ou extrovertida, se isso é algo que não é. Estou aqui apenas para lhe dar um conselho sobre como ultrapassar a barreira de falar com as raparigas de quem gosta e como aumentar a sua confiança.

The first thing you need to do is to start believing in yourself. But I mean really believing in yourself. And the best way to accomplish that is to focus on your good qualities and to emphasize them. Yes, you have your flaws, but they shouldn’t be on your mind when talking to a girl.

5. Don’t overthink

Um dos seus maiores erros quando se trata de namorar é que, provavelmente, analisa tudo e permite que o seu excesso de pensamento arruíne a sua relação mesmo antes de esta começar. Mesmo quando conhece uma rapariga, a primeira coisa que lhe passa pela cabeça são todos os possíveis resultados negativos da sua relação com ela.

What if she rejects you right away? What if she starts comparing you with her ex? What if she just wants to use you as a rebound? What if she doesn’t like you? What if you fall in love with her and end up heartbroken?

I’ll have to stop you right there because these thoughts are one of the cores of your problem. Stop thinking about all the ‘could haves and should haves’. Stop making all these possible case scenarios in your head before anything has actually happened.

I am not saying that you should be completely reckless and ignore your gut. I am just telling you that it won’t hurt to be a little more spontaneous. You saw a girl you find cute? Go talk to her, without thinking what might happen. Go with the flow from time to time, and see where it takes you.

6. Tentar encontros online em sites de encontros para nerds

Se tem problemas com as suas competências sociais e em expressar-se verbalmente, o melhor lugar para encontrar o seu par perfeito é, sem dúvida, os sites de encontros de cromos, que estão cheios de cromos solteiros. Estes sites e aplicações de encontros nerds vão ajudá-lo a encontrar solteiros nerds que partilham os seus interesses e paixões.

When you are chatting with a girl online, she doesn’t see what is happening behind the screen. She can’t see that you are blushing or that your hands are sweating. Nerd dating websites and dating apps give you a lot more time to come up with a response because it is not face-to-face communication.

And when you finally decide to meet in person with this girl you’ve been chatting with, she’ll already be someone you are familiar with, and there will be a lot less tension on your part. Besides, if you met her on a geek dating site, she will probably understand your insecurities and will not judge you because of them.

7. Trabalhar sobre si próprio

Melhorar a si próprio é algo que deve fazer constantemente para o seu próprio bem e não apenas para encontrar alguém, mas que o ajudará definitivamente a atrair mais pessoas.

Work on improving your looks and improving yourself as a person! Don’t be afraid to think outside the box. Don’t be scared to get out of your comfort zone, and expand your interests and horizons. This will help you know more about the world and will automatically, help you be more certain of yourself.

8. Privilegiar a qualidade em detrimento da quantidade

I know that plenty of geeks expect to become players overnight, and I hate to disappoint you, but this won’t happen. Besides, the last thing you want to be is some fuckboy who will break girls’ hearts.

If you are looking for something worthy of your time, you need to focus all of your energy on quality over quantity. Don’t put your efforts into getting laid as much as possible or getting as many phone numbers from different girls in one night because that won’t make you happy, and it is not what you need.

Instead, be patient enough and wait for the right girl to come along. No, she won’t magically appear in front of you, and this probably won’t be the first girl which crosses your path. But don’t give up on encontrar a pessoa certa just because you’ve met a few wrong ones. And please don’t give up after the first disappointment because the girl for you is out there!

9. Prepare-se

Quando pensa nisso, o seu maior problema com os encontros é que normalmente fica com a língua presa quando está perto de raparigas. Quando se está sozinho em casa e quando pensamos em todas as coisas que diríamos a uma rapariga de quem gostamos, há um milhão de coisas interessantes que nos vêm à cabeça. Mas tudo muda quando se está frente a frente com essa rapariga. Ficas ansioso e nervoso, e literalmente don’t know what to say.

Bem, tenho uma solução para si. Antes de sair para um encontro ou antes de abordar uma rapariga de quem gosta, prepare-se. Pense em alguns quebra-gelos de comunicação encantadores, em respostas espirituosas ou em coisas engraçadas que a possam fazer rir. Pense em algumas perguntas para fazer à sua acompanhante para a conhecer melhor e em algumas coisas interessantes para lhe contar sobre si.

Just make sure to use each of these things when the timing is right, and don’t let her get the impression that you have prepared lines you’ve previously memorized.

10. Don’t be afraid of rejection

Rejection is a part of the dating game, and there is nothing you can do about it. When you look at all those players around you, you think they can get every girl they want, and you assume they’ve never gotten rejected. But trust me—you can’t be more wrong because there doesn’t exist a guy who has never heard no’ as an answer.

I am not going to lie to—when you put yourself out there, you will get rejected sometimes because there is no magic trick which can make you attractive to every girl you like. So, don’t let this discourage you.

And most importantly—don’t take it personally. There is the possibility that the girl is lready taken or just not in the mood for someone hitting on her. Remember that a girl is allowed not to like you and that doesn’t mean you are ugly, uninteresting or unattractive. It just means that she doesn’t want to give you a chance and that you should continue trying with someone else.