Achas que sabes que ele é o tal?

Before making this beyond complicated, I will tell you the truth from the start. The truth is that you don’t know and you will never know. But you can feel.

Saber e sentir são duas direcções contraditórias e, quando entrelaçadas, podem criar um reino de confusão, incerteza e até depressão.

Have you ever looked at your man and started thinking ‘how in the world can I be sure that he is the one?’ After that, you start weighing up some pros and cons, rewinding scenes of his socks under the bed or that last cake eaten by him…

Then you realize that there is no point in making a list of an ‘anti-perfect man’ and you start begging God and his assistants to enlighten you.

Mas o único problema é que se dedica demasiado ao conhecimento e aos factos sobre o seu homem em vez de ouvir a sua intuição e o seu instinto. Saber e sentir são duas direcções contraditórias e, quando entrelaçadas, podem criar um reino de confusão, incerteza e até depressão.

#1 PÁRA DE TE PERGUNTARES SE ELE É O TAL

Do you know the feeling when you question something to the extent that it becomes a haunting nightmare? If you want to forget that feeling (and I certainly would) then you have to stop asking yourself if he is the man who’s going to pick you up in his spaceship and introduce you to his crew (aka his parents) all the while exploring the endless extent of space that is love.

Kidding aside, you have to reach the level where you know that you don’t know that he is the one. Try repeating: “I don’t know if he is the one and I don’t give a damn. I will not let this overrated question manipulate me. I’m a strong, independent woman and I choose to live carefree.”

#2 SENTIR

Being too occupied with questions and answers kills all the fun and spontaneity that are crucial to your well-being. For example, your head is in his lap and he’s playing with your locks while you’re questioning his existence along with the whole universe and the theory of gravity.

Ele há-de saber. Ele saberá quando começares a fazer estas perguntas a ti própria, porque os homens têm aquele radar estranho que lhes diz sempre que algo está errado com a mulher.

To avoid this, concentrate on feelings. If you feel like you’ve attained nirvana (and I don’t mean the band) when just hanging around with your man—THAT’S IT.

That’s the thing we’re looking for. Just listen to your intuition and embrace the feelings you get when thinking of that specific person and you’ll get the answer.

#3 COMO POSSO TER A CERTEZA DE QUE OS MEUS SENTIMENTOS NÃO ME ESTÃO A ENGANAR?

YOU CAN’T and that’s the beauty of it. But if you’re sure of your own existence, that will do. Cogito, ergo sum (I think, therefore I am).

Pensar sobre algo prova o facto de existirmos, mas não valida os nossos sentimentos. Por exemplo, Miranda diz que tem a certeza de que Jim é o tal, porque ele é uma pessoa muito boa.

Mas que raio?! O que é que isso quer dizer?

Miranda provavelmente pensa que Jim é uma boa pessoa por um milhão de outras razões que correspondem à sua definição de um bom rapaz. Mas como é que isso a faz sentir? A verdadeira questão é como é que ele a faz sentir.

Do you want to be with him because he is such a good guy and ‘the one’ according to your scale and priorities or do you want to be with him because he makes you feel transcendent, blessed and utterly grateful?

Não penses. SENTE.

P.S. If he can drive you beyond crazy and you still don’t want him dead—he’s definitely the one.