10 consigli per gli appuntamenti per i nerd introversi in un mondo estroverso

Gli appuntamenti moderni sono impegnativi e difficili per tutti. Ma può essere particolarmente difficile per i nerd e i geek.

You might wonder why that is so. Well, let’s face it—we live in an extroverted world, and most of the people have a tendency to judge a book by its covers. It means that they pay a lot of attention to the way you look and to your social skills, without being patient enough to dig underneath the surface and to look for other qualities most single nerds have.

Are you a self-proclaimed, introverted nerd who enjoys most of the things outside the mainstream? Do you enjoy playing video games, reading comic books and you are into sci-fi? Would you agree that you don’t like going to clubs and big events, and you prefer spending quiet evenings by yourself or with your closest friends? Isn’t it true that all of this isn’t making it easy for you to trovare l'amore?

Siamo in vostro soccorso, perché ecco 10 efficaci consigli di appuntamenti per nerd che aiuteranno sicuramente ogni singolo nerd là fuori a trovare il proprio partner ideale.

1. Accettare se stessi

La prima cosa da fare quando ci si mette sul mercato degli appuntamenti è essere se stessi. So che la maggior parte delle persone vi dirà di farlo, ma raramente vi daranno consigli su come farlo.

One of the worst things you can do when you are trying to attract a person of the opposite sex is to pretend you are someone you are not just for her to like you more. Firstly, she will see right through your intentions. Even if you manage to pull this off and if you manage to persuade her that you are someone you are not, sooner or later, your mask will fall off, and she’ll be disappointed in you. Besides, acting will only make you feel bad about yourself, and you’ll never know if this girl is really into you or she actually likes the person you invented.

Non siete come tutti gli altri. Invece di considerarlo un aspetto negativo della vostra personalità, iniziate a vederlo come il vostro più grande vantaggio rispetto a tutti gli altri ragazzi là fuori!

2. Accettare l'altra persona

Allo stesso modo in cui dovreste lavorare per accettare voi stessi per quello che siete realmente, dovreste cercare di accettare anche l'altra persona.

Don’t judge a book by its cover, and don’t try to make assumptions about a girl just by looking at her. You may think that a girl is shallow just because she puts a lot of time and energy into her looks or just because she listens to different music or likes things you are not interested in. You may think that the two of you don’t have anything in common just because she doesn’t share your Star Trek passions or because she hasn’t read Harry Potter.

But this doesn’t have to be the case. This girl might be la tua anima gemella e la persona che state cercando, nonostante tutte le vostre differenze. Quindi, invece di cercare qualcuno che sia esattamente uguale a voi, aprite la mente a diverse possibilità.

And when you find someone who stands outside of your box, don’t try to change her, and don’t allow her to change you. Instead, enjoy this person’s differences, and use them as an opportunity to expand your horizons and to learn something new.

3. Chiedere consiglio ad altri

The truth is that your character and personality are the most important things about you. But let’s face it—we are social and visual beings, and if you want to attract a girl, you have to work on your first impression. That means that she needs to like what she sees and hears when she first meets you.

The best way to improve your social skills, your looks and your clothing is to rely on the feedback of people who are close to you. Don’t get me wrong—I am not advising you to let anyone change the essence of who you are just so you could be more likeable to girls. I am just telling you to ask for an opinion of the way you look and the way you are dressed from someone close to you before you go out with a girl.

4. Lavorare sulla propria autostima

You know for a fact that most girls like men who are sure about themselves. Men who know what they want and aren’t afraid to get it.

And when you look at yourself, you know you have a lot to offer but you simply can’t find a way to express this in the right way. The problem is in your lack of confidence.

Non ti sto dicendo di diventare improvvisamente un estroverso o una persona estroversa, se non lo sei. Sono qui solo per darvi un consiglio su come superare la barriera di parlare anche solo con le ragazze che vi piacciono e come costruire la vostra fiducia.

The first thing you need to do is to start believing in yourself. But I mean really believing in yourself. And the best way to accomplish that is to focus on your good qualities and to emphasize them. Yes, you have your flaws, but they shouldn’t be on your mind when talking to a girl.

5. Don’t overthink

Uno dei vostri più grandi errori quando si tratta di appuntamenti è che probabilmente analizzate tutto e permettete che i vostri pensieri eccessivi rovinino la vostra relazione ancora prima che inizi. Anche quando incontrate una ragazza, la prima cosa che vi passa per la testa sono tutti i possibili esiti negativi della vostra relazione con lei.

What if she rejects you right away? What if she starts comparing you with her ex? What if she just wants to use you as a rebound? What if she doesn’t like you? What if you fall in love with her and end up heartbroken?

I’ll have to stop you right there because these thoughts are one of the cores of your problem. Stop thinking about all the ‘could haves and should haves’. Stop making all these possible case scenarios in your head before anything has actually happened.

I am not saying that you should be completely reckless and ignore your gut. I am just telling you that it won’t hurt to be a little more spontaneous. You saw a girl you find cute? Go talk to her, without thinking what might happen. Go with the flow from time to time, and see where it takes you.

6. Provare gli incontri online sui siti di incontri per nerd

Se avete problemi con le vostre abilità sociali e con l'espressione verbale, il posto migliore per trovare il vostro partner perfetto sono sicuramente i siti di incontri nerd che sono pieni di nerd single. Questi siti e app di incontri per nerd vi aiuteranno a trovare single nerd che condividono i vostri interessi e le vostre passioni.

When you are chatting with a girl online, she doesn’t see what is happening behind the screen. She can’t see that you are blushing or that your hands are sweating. Nerd dating websites and dating apps give you a lot more time to come up with a response because it is not face-to-face communication.

And when you finally decide to meet in person with this girl you’ve been chatting with, she’ll already be someone you are familiar with, and there will be a lot less tension on your part. Besides, if you met her on a geek dating site, she will probably understand your insecurities and will not judge you because of them.

7. Lavorare su se stessi

Migliorare se stessi è una cosa che si dovrebbe fare costantemente per il proprio bene e non solo per trovare qualcuno, ma sicuramente vi aiuterà ad attrarre più persone.

Work on improving your looks and improving yourself as a person! Don’t be afraid to think outside the box. Don’t be scared to get out of your comfort zone, and expand your interests and horizons. This will help you know more about the world and will automatically, help you be more certain of yourself.

8. Concentrarsi sulla qualità piuttosto che sulla quantità

I know that plenty of geeks expect to become players overnight, and I hate to disappoint you, but this won’t happen. Besides, the last thing you want to be is some fuckboy who will break girls’ hearts.

If you are looking for something worthy of your time, you need to focus all of your energy on quality over quantity. Don’t put your efforts into getting laid as much as possible or getting as many phone numbers from different girls in one night because that won’t make you happy, and it is not what you need.

Instead, be patient enough and wait for the right girl to come along. No, she won’t magically appear in front of you, and this probably won’t be the first girl which crosses your path. But don’t give up on trovare quello giusto just because you’ve met a few wrong ones. And please don’t give up after the first disappointment because the girl for you is out there!

9. Prepararsi

Se ci pensi bene, il tuo problema più grande negli appuntamenti è che di solito ti si blocca la lingua quando sei in mezzo alle ragazze. Quando si è soli a casa e quando pensi a tutte le cose che diresti a una ragazza che ti piace, ti vengono in mente un milione di cose interessanti. Ma tutto cambia quando si affronta davvero la ragazza. Diventate ansiosi e nervosi, e letteralmente don’t know what to say.

Ebbene, ho una soluzione per voi. Prima di uscire con una ragazza o prima di approcciarla, preparatevi. Pensate a qualche affascinante rompighiaccio comunicativo, a risposte spiritose o a cose divertenti che possano farla ridere. Pensate a qualche domanda da porre alla vostra ragazza per conoscerla meglio e a qualche cosa di interessante da raccontare su di voi.

Just make sure to use each of these things when the timing is right, and don’t let her get the impression that you have prepared lines you’ve previously memorized.

10. Don’t be afraid of rejection

Rejection is a part of the dating game, and there is nothing you can do about it. When you look at all those players around you, you think they can get every girl they want, and you assume they’ve never gotten rejected. But trust me—you can’t be more wrong because there doesn’t exist a guy who has never heard no’ as an answer.

I am not going to lie to—when you put yourself out there, you will get rejected sometimes because there is no magic trick which can make you attractive to every girl you like. So, don’t let this discourage you.

And most importantly—don’t take it personally. There is the possibility that the girl is lready taken or just not in the mood for someone hitting on her. Remember that a girl is allowed not to like you and that doesn’t mean you are ugly, uninteresting or unattractive. It just means that she doesn’t want to give you a chance and that you should continue trying with someone else.