10 maneiras de lidar com um marido traidor

The feeling of rejection, of being replaced by someone else because you are no longer enough, is devastating. It can kill your marriage, tear the two of you apart, erasing every feeling and memory that you’ve ever had together.

When a man cheats, there are two options you’re left with. One is to fechar o negócio e ir embora e a outra é encontrar uma razão para o perdoar.

Se pensa que pode encontrar uma forma de ultrapassar esta situação, quem sabe, talvez o seu casamento se torne melhor do que nunca, especialmente se não houver outros painful signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore. Or if you think you could never forget what he has done to you, it’s better to leave, no matter how hurtful it is, and move on with your life.

Como lidar com um marido traidor?

1. Don’t make any sudden decisions

What you’re feeling right now is rage, depression, anger… all kinds of feelings mixed together at the same time. You’re not able to think straight because you’ve been hurt.

Talvez a razão para a sua batota se for mais profundo, talvez tenha algo a ver com o vosso casamento. Mas a questão é que, se calhar, ele está sinceramente arrependido e lamenta o que fez. Talvez haja uma maneira de resolver a situação.

That’s why you have to sleep on it. Let some time pass before you decide what to do by judging from the way he acts and whether he is sorry or not.

2. Pensar em si próprio

Use this time, until you reach a decision, to take care of yourself. Don’t let the pain destroy you. You have to keep it together because there is an important decision before you.

Infidelity can cause you to overeat or stop eating, to have insomnia or all kinds of other disorders. Don’t let it affect your well-being.

3. Tentar descobrir a razão pela qual ele o fez

Tentar chegar ao fundo da questão. Talvez ele o tenha feito porque simplesmente queria. Se calhar ele é assim tão irrefletido e a infidelidade é algo que o excita. Nesse caso, não há nada que possas fazer.

But on the other hand, maybe there is something he is lacking from you. Maybe something happened to him when he was a child and he’s been traumatized and now he’s seeking approval from a random woman.

Whatever the reason is, you have to find it out to be able to decide what’s next, whether you’ll leave or give him another chance.

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4. Pedir ajuda

There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. Talk to your friends, the people who won’t judge you, and ask them what they think of the situation you’re in.

Or if he agrees to it (and he probably will), try couples counseling. Try talking to a professional who knows what they’re doing. Maybe they will help you find the solution which is best for the both of you.

5. Seja honesto com os seus filhos

Children see everything. Even if they don’t know what is going on, they know that something is wrong. Don’t be the bad guy and shut them out. They are also a part of the family and they have a right to know what’s going on.

This way, if you tell them, you’re going to be able to talk to them and assure them that they are going to be loved the same as before and that everything will be okay, one way or another.

Altere a abordagem em função da idade e o mais importante é nunca lhes mentir.

6. Don’t communicate with the other woman

You have nothing to say to her. It’s not your responsibility. This goes especially if he wants you to do his dirty work for him. Don’t go down that road.

He made the mess and he has to clean it up. If you do it for him, it won’t teach him responsibility and he’ll know that every time he screws things up, he’ll have you to clean up after him.

7. É preciso tempo para sarar e voltar a confiar

If you stay with him, don’t expect everything to be normal right away. You won’t trust him for a long time. Even if he is the best husband ever, you still won’t trust him.

O tempo tem de passar e temos de fazer as pazes com o facto de que ele traiu-a. You’ll be stressed for a long time and a lot of things you see or do will remind you of the fact that he cheated on you.

É esse o processo de luto pelo qual temos de passar. Temos de estar zangados, temos de chorar e, no fim, acabamos por ficar em paz com isso. Mas só se vires que ele está verdadeiramente arrependido e que se arrepende de ter feito a coisa mais estúpida que podia.

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8. Prós e contras

Seja prático. Verifique as finanças e a situação da habitação. Veja se tem alguma possibilidade de o deixar, porque antes de o fazer, certifique-se de que tem um sítio para viver e dinheiro suficiente para tratar das coisas essenciais.

9. Either learn to forgive…

You have to decide what you want. You can’t live in-between because that gets you nowhere. If you’re going to forgive him, do it.

Mas quando o fazemos, não há volta a dar. Não há como chatear e trazer o passado à baila.

10. … or just leave

If you see and feel in your heart that the fact he cheated on you will always bother you, that whenever he goes out you’ll wonder if he is with another woman, then do yourself a favor and leave.

It’s better to be single and happy than casado e infeliz.