Quanto tempo dura uma paixão? E 10 maneiras de superar isso com sucesso

A paixão e o amor verdadeiro são dois termos muito diferentes.

Infatuation (also known as a crush) usually lasts for around four months and it’s nothing but acts of projection and idealization.

When someone develops intense feelings for someone they don’t really know, those feelings differ from romantic love as they’re based on romanticizing someone you don’t know.

You’ve probably read on social media and various websites that a romantic crush generally lasts up to four months.

Se essa paixoneta se transformar numa relação duradoura após esse período de tempo, então podemos falar de algo que não seja pura fantasia e que se assemelhe a uma relação saudável.

A committed relationship isn’t based on a racing heart, sweaty palms and spending a ridiculous amount of time on a never-ending daydream about your best friend since high-school.

That’s what experts would label a romantic crush.

If you have a crush that so far hasn’t turned into a real-life love story and you’re desperate for it to go away since it clearly isn’t going to become anything real, you’re in the right place.

In everyday life, it’s a perfectly normal occurrence to develop a crush on a person who has caught your eye.

No ano passado, tive uma experiência turbulenta com uma paixão louca da qual demorei muitos meses a recuperar.

I kept waiting for him to realize that I was the right person and to tell me, ”I love you,” but all I got was a cold shoulder and having to Google ways to get over a crush that is ruining your life.

I’m here to help you feel better about your unfortunate situation.

As paixonetas fazem parte de uma experiência humana saudável e toda a gente as tem!

Por vezes, a paixão pode ser uma verdadeira b****.

It turns your life upside down, makes you develop intense feelings about someone who doesn’t even notice you and ultimately breaks your heart.

Fantasiar com pessoas inatingíveis é uma ocorrência comum, independentemente da idade adulta.

No one is immune to feelings and emotions but don’t let it ruin your mental health though.

Just because your infatuation doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, it doesn’t mean you need to go down the drain with it.

A vida continua. As paixões murcham e o verdadeiro amor acaba sempre por voltar para ti!

Here’s a step-by-step guide on getting over an intense crush and keeping your head sane!

Ver também: Como saber se um cara gosta de você com certeza: 12 sinais de que ele está totalmente a fim de você!

Como superar uma paixão intensa?

Here, I’ll provide you with some personal experience that helped me get over a really intense crush that turned my life upside down last year.

Acreditando que poderia transformar-se em amor romântico, tornei a minha vida num inferno ao fantasiar com um homem que mal reconhecia a minha existência.

A long-term relationship is what everyone aspires to attain but on our journey through life, we’ll encounter crushes and feelings of deep infatuation that will take us for a spin and leave us forever changed.

É assim que se põe de pé e se põe fim à idealização de alguém com quem não se tem futuro.

O que é que realmente gosta neles?

Okay, so it’s clear that this person has caught your eye and you’ve developed intense feelings of infatuation toward them.

But what is it that you actually find so appealing about them? Once you get yourself to look at your idealization from a rational perspective, you’ll see the actual chances of your crush becoming a real-life true love.

When we fantasize about people, we don’t see them for who they really are but for who we picture them to be.

So the connection you’ve created in your head is just that—imaginary.

If you have a crush, chances are it’s unlikely to turn into a real thing because there’s no basis for that relationship to work.

If there was, you’d have done something about it already, don’t you think?

As paixões românticas tendem a levar a melhor sobre nós, independentemente da nossa maturidade.

But after the initial few months, you have to start seeing them for who they really are, which is how you realize that they’re just as flawed as any other human being.

Trate-o como o fim de uma relação

Obviously, you didn’t actually date but this is one plausible way to get closure without ever having had a healthy relationship with them.

Aja como se tivesse acabado de terminar uma relação de longa duração com essa pessoa.

Afinal de contas, tu fez passar uma quantidade significativa de tempo emocionalmente investido na sua paixão romântica.

Por isso, não se apresse a ultrapassar isso.

Como é que normalmente recupera depois de uma separação?

Vão às compras, vêem comédias românticas, ouvem Coldplay?

Seja o que for que te faça chegar lá, fá-lo. Chora, fala com os teus melhores amigos e deita tudo cá para fora.

Take the amount of time you’d normally need for an actual break-up, and heal at your own pace.

Ninguém o vai julgar.

You’re entitled to your emotions and nobody can take that away from you.

Infatuation is a tricky thing, especially if we convince our mind to cooperate into believing that it’s romantic love.

Um conselho: não se meta nas redes sociais dele.

If you want this crush to end, you don’t need to be reminded of how attractive he is on a daily basis.

Ver também: Relacionamento de 3 meses: 12 mudanças que estão prestes a acontecer (e 7 sinais de alerta)

Colocar alguma distância de qualidade entre vocês os dois

You’ll never get over your crush if you keep seeing them everywhere.

Sometimes it can be hard to avoid certain people if you’re in the same social circle or attend the same classes.

Mas o que pode fazer é sentar-se o mais longe possível deles e optar por não entrar em qualquer tipo de conversa com eles.

You can’t tell them where to go or what to do but you can affect where you go and what you do.

Se sabe que eles frequentam um determinado bar, mude de cenário.

Se souberes qual é a equipa que frequenta, evita-a.

Pelo menos durante algum tempo, para deixar a paixão passar. Além disso, quem sabe.

Maybe if you distance yourself enough, you’ll see your crush turn into just somebody you used to know but don’t care about anymore.

Where there’s a will, there’s a freaking way.

Não perseguir as redes sociais

I’ve already casually mentioned this but it bears repeating.

Não podes, em circunstância alguma, perseguir a tua paixão nas redes sociais.

É completamente contraproducente e vai fazer com que seja impossível ultrapassá-lo.

You don’t have to go so far as to delete them from all your social media accounts.

Escondê-los é perfeitamente correto.

Esconda também as suas histórias do Instagram!

That way, you won’t be privy to what they do every day and you’ll be able to go about your day uninterrupted.

Tudo isto está nas vossas mãos.

Your idealization has got you this far and it’s up to you to make it stop and find the right person who’ll actually become part of your life.

O amor romântico é muito melhor do que a pura paixão.

Just imagine how fulfilling it’s going to be when you finally stumble upon a person who’ll reciprocate your feelings and won’t make you feel like your mental health is deteriorating.

O verdadeiro amor valerá a pena. É só esperar.

Ver também: Como começar a namorar de novo: 15 dicas para voltar ao jogo

Não há actualizações sobre a sua vida

If your crush has lasted for more than a few months, it’s going to be a bit more challenging to get over them so it’s vital that you pay attention to every single step.

E nada de saltar! Uma dessas etapas é a atualização zero da sua vida.

Nada de perguntar aos seus amigos em comum sobre eles.

Don’t ask your best friends to find out whatever they can in secret and then inform you.

Stop wanting to know what’s going on in their life if your end goal is to erase them from yours.

By constantly asking how they are, what they’re doing and who they’re seeing, you’re getting deeper into the intricate web of infatuation, which is precisely what you’ve been trying so hard to avoid.

Ama-te o suficiente para saberes quando é suficiente.

They don’t love you, you don’t love them and if you got to know them on a deeper level, you’d probably see that there’s nothing there in the first place.

Por isso, deixe de se preocupar com a forma como eles são e comece a preocupar-se com a forma como quer ser.

Seja realista consigo próprio

Talvez tenha feito uma tentativa e tenha sido rejeitado.

Maybe you never tried anything and it’s simply been too long and it’s time to move on.

Seja qual for a sua realidade, aceite-a e abrace-a.

You can deceive everyone around you but you can’t lie to yourself.

If there was ever a chance for your crush to develop into something serious, you’d already have done something about it.

And even if you got rejected, so what? You tried your best and it didn’t work out.

Tudo o que se pode fazer na vida é ir atrás do que se quer, sabendo que se deu tudo por tudo.

É tudo o que qualquer pessoa pode fazer.

And now it’s time to admit defeat and turn over a new leaf.

O seu verdadeiro amor está algures por aí, a perguntar-se o mesmo que você.

Don’t you want to know what awaits you? Aren’t you the least bit curious to see what else is out there?

O mundo é vosso para o conquistarem.

Dê um salto de fé e explore o que tem para oferecer.

Crushes come and go but when real romantic love finds you, it’ll make you feel everything your crush never could and then some.

Ver também: A lista definitiva de objectivos de casal para as relações mais felizes

Saber que vai ser uma seca durante algum tempo

But that’s okay. As long as you’re ready to truly heal, you’re ready to go through the motions.

Sabes como as separações podem ser uma seca, certo? Bem, isto é semelhante.

You’re mourning over something that never was but could’ve been something real.

Now that you’re counting your losses, it’s important that this horrible feeling doesn’t discourage you from falling in love ever again.

Cada vez que superamos uma coisa, ficamos um pouco mais fortes e mais equipados para lidar com a coisa seguinte.

While you’re suffering, remind yourself of all your past heartbreaks and how you got over every single one of them, even though you were sure that you wouldn’t be able to.

Nos momentos de grande tristeza é quando vemos a nossa verdadeira força.

And right now, you’re not aware of how capable you really are.

In a few weeks you’ll be looking at this with a smile on your face, knowing how foolish it was to think you couldn’t do this.

Pode fazer tudo o que quiser e nunca deixe de o provar a si próprio.

Sair e conhecer novas pessoas

Bonus points if those people are in no way connected to your crush! I’m not suggesting that you jump right back into a new intense crush.

All I’m saying is that the best way to get over something is by surrounding yourself with good people.

Nunca se esqueça dos seus velhos amigos, mas procure sempre conhecer caras novas.

Nunca se sabe quem se pode acabar por encontrar.

People need people; that’s a fact.

And by giving new faces a chance to prove their worth, you’re opening up your heart and discovering new depths of your ability to love.

E sabes o que mais significa?

Less time for you to dwell on your crush! That’s right.

You won’t even realize thi, but once you start mingling and having fun, it’ll just dawn on you that it has been a few straight hours without them entering your mind.

And that’s how you heal and move forward.

Não é preciso ficar sentado em casa a remoer algo que nunca existiu, mas sim levantarmo-nos e escolhermos a vida em vez da miséria!

Ver também: Devo bloquear o meu ex? Estas 10 constatações vão ajudá-lo a decidir

Encontrar novos passatempos gratificantes

For me, it’s the gym.

I can’t even tell you how much it saved my soul and preserved my sanity.

Nos meus momentos de luta, recorro ao ginásio.

Ajuda-me a libertar-me de tudo e a preocupar-me com algo saudável, ao mesmo tempo que me dá força física e mental!

It’s beyond helpful for dealing with any type of stress and I cannot recommend it enough.

On the other hand, if it’s really not your thing, no worries, there are plenty of amazing hobbies you can choose from that will successfully distract you from real life.

If you’re into sports, join a team! If you love to sing, join a choir! If you’re into artistic things, explore your options there.

As possibilidades são imensas e estão à espera que as descubra!

Don’t be too lazy to get up off your booty and find your passion.

Once you get going, you won’t be able to stop.

Torna-o proactivo, distrai-o dos seus problemas e ajuda-o a conhecer novas pessoas.

Tantas vitórias, de que é que estão à espera?

Seduza o seu caminho para um novo interesse romântico

Once you’ve taken all the aforementioned steps, you’ll finally be ready to get back into the dating scene and get your flirt on!

É evidente que este é o último dos passos necessários para um verdadeiro encerramento que facilitará o seu reencontro consigo próprio.

Now that you’ve gained back your confidence and preoccupied yourself with new proactive things, it’s time to give your ego a necessary boost.

Remind yourself that you’re a catch.

Pegue no seu melhor amigo e saia com o objetivo de namoriscar descaradamente com todos os estranhos giros que encontrar.

It’ll give you that push in the right direction and help you see that there is so much potential out there!

Some innocent flirting is the best cure for a broken heart and it doesn’t have to amount to anything unless you want it to.

So, if you’re ready and willing, I think it’s time to put your dancing shoes back on and go get yourself back to the old you!

Where There’s A Will…

There’s most certainly a way!

A paixão não é algo que deva ser encarado de ânimo leve, uma vez que, por vezes, nos faz passar pelo tumulto emocional de uma relação real.

But if you’re adamant to get yourself out of your spunk, you’re sure able to heal as if it never happened in the first place.

Basta um pouco de vontade e um pouco de esforço.

Nobody said it was easy (just ask Coldplay) but it doesn’t mean that it’s not worth it.

Everything that’s valuable and precious in life comes at a certain cost.

Sometimes you’ll end up broken-hearted but it’ll teach you a lot of lessons and make you that much stronger.

When you catch intense feelings for someone, there’s no other way than fighting right through them.

And when you get to the finish line, you’ll see just how strong, capable and fabulous you are.

Don’t believe me? Just watch.

In a few short weeks, you’ll be a new person and your crush will be nothing but a thing of the past.

Ver também: O que eu amo em ti: Uma lista de 100 razões pelas quais te amo