10 razões pelas quais não há problema em ser amigo do seu ex

Ser amigo do seu ex nem sempre é um desastre completo. Por vezes, acredite-se ou não, pode mesmo transformar-se numa amizade significativa.

After all, that person spent a great amount of time with you and you shared a lot of moments together. You’ve been through good and bad; that is something you don’t forget that easily. You may break up, but you can’t erase the existence of that person.

Although it ended the way it did, you still have some fond memories of your time together. There were times he made you happy when you were together, when he surprised you by doing something beautiful. It wasn’t awful all the time, especially not in the beginning.

Se os dois se concentrassem nos bons momentos que passaram juntos, em vez de se concentrarem no que fizeram de errado um com o outro, poderiam ter uma amizade bonita e duradoura. Tudo o que é preciso é compreender e respeitar-se mutuamente.

Here are some reasons why it’s okay for you to be amigos do teu ex.

1. By keeping your heart open, you’ll be able to find love again

Se viveres a tua vida perdoando as pessoas que te fizeram mal e abrindo o teu coração às pessoas que te rodeiam, atrairás coisas positivas que também te acontecerão. Há quem lhe chame karma, há quem lhe chame boa sorte, mas a forma como trata os outros vai voltar para si mais tarde.

By maintaining a good relationship with your ex, you’re forgiving yourself. You’re going to be a better person with much more confidence, which will pay off when you finally meet someone new.

2. Foi uma separação feliz

OK, no break-up is happy, but let’s say that yours wasn’t ugly. You kind of expected it and maybe it was a mutual agreement between two people who just realized that they had nothing in common so they decided to break it off before someone got seriously hurt.

Este tipo de situação é perfeito para o início de uma bela amizade.

3. Ele já sabe tudo sobre ti

It’s easy to talk to him because you don’t have to explain yourself and the things you do or don’t do, or eat or don’t eat. He already knows all of that.

It feels natural talking to him and despite the fact you’re no longer together, it would be nice to act nice and keep him in your life as a friend.

4. Têm muitos amigos em comum

If you have a lot of mutual friends and you don’t want to create any awkward situations for them, you’re better off staying friends. Imagine if one of your friends is having a birthday party and you are both invited.

Wouldn’t it be better for you to stay friends and go to the party with no resentment or anger that was left from the break-up? Also, you can always stay friends but keep your distance; you don’t have to spend the whole night next to each other.

But it’s also important that you don’t bother each other with your presence.

5. You’ve moved on

You’ve had your share of tears and you’ve passed the healing process. Now that you hold nothing against him, it’s normal to be friends.

Now that you are over him, his new girlfriend won’t bother you and you won’t be staring in his direction the whole time, fearing someone will hit on him.

6. Não há mais tensão sexual

Talvez tenha saído de um relação duradoura where sex had turned from a source of pleasure to a habit. And now that you’ve broken up, if someone else attracts you more than your ex-partner, it’s safe to say that you can be lifelong friends.

7. Ambos são emocionalmente maduros

Your maturity allowed you to look at things from a different perspective. You realized that he means a lot to you and that you don’t want to lose him, so if you had to break up, that doesn’t mean you mustn’t see each other ever again. You are reasonable enough to let him into your life as a friend.

8. Deixou de viver no passado

Finalmente seguiste em frente e percebeste que o passado deve ficar onde pertence. O que quer que tenhas passado já passou e nada do que faças pode mudar isso.

A única coisa que pode mudar é a sua relação com o seu ex. Por isso, se assim o decidir, pode deixá-lo entrar na sua vida e os dois podem começar tudo de novo, mas desta vez com papéis diferentes.

9. Preocupam-se uns com os outros

You still care about each other but not in the same way as before. You grew to develop a different relationship, so why should you lose that just because of a stupid unwritten rule that exes shouldn’t be friends. If you want to be friends and if you still have some feelings for each other, do it.

10. Ele dá-lhe bons conselhos

You know that whenever you have a problem you can go to him. Even when you were in a relationship, he knew how to give you good advice. He didn’t do it that often, but when he did, he knew how.

You still value his opinion and you’ve got nothing against him, so he has nothing to lose and he will be completely honest.