5 comportamentos tóxicos que ele tem e que vão destruir a vossa relação
At the beginning everything is easy. You are blinded by infatuation and the sexual chemistry is too strong to see what is really going on or what your partner is truly like. We all give the best of ourselves to impress whoever we are dating. Most of us hide our imperfections, but that is completely understandable if you don’t have anything serious to hide.
O verdadeiro problema surge quando nos cruzamos com alguém que é tóxico. É claro que ele vai esconder esse lado dele porque quer atraí-la. Apresentar-se-á como perfeito e sem falhas até que se solte um pouco e comece a confiar nele.
When the honeymoon phase is over, the masks drop and you are finally able to see the true face of your loved one. The problem is that most of us get comfortable and we put down our guards. That’s when the toxic behaviors start emerging.
There doesn’t have to be anything big at first. Actually, there never is. Toxic behaviors are disclosed bit by bit until they cause a great explosion of emotions and finally a catastrophe.
To prevent becoming a victim of toxic behavior, it’s best not to give in to the passion completely at the beginning. Try to look at things with a different pair of eyes, like it’s happening to someone else.
Tente ser objetivo e cauteloso. Talvez assim consiga ver todos os alertas vermelhos que lhe estão a gritar para sair desse ambiente tóxico.
Estes são os comportamentos tóxicos que ele apresenta e que farão com que a vossa relação se afunde em chamas:
1. He can’t stand criticism
Sempre que há um problema na vossa relação que vos deixa infelizes e quando o confrontam sobre isso, ele passa-se. Diga o que disser, seja qual for a crítica que lhe faça, ele reage de forma exagerada.
You think that after some time you’ve been together, he will realize that you don’t want to put him down but help him become better by showing him his mistakes and things he did that hurt you. But, he doesn’t get it that way.
He thinks you are out to get him and humiliate him. Therefore, any overreaction by him as feedback on something you’ve got to say is clearly showing disrespect to you.
By doing this, he is telling you he doesn’t want to hear what you’ve got to say. He doesn’t respect you.
Don’t let this happen to you. No one has the right to control your life or to see you submissive to him. If you are feeling unhappy, you have the right to talk about it.
If he denies you this, then it’s better to leave than to deal with much greater consequences that will follow.
Your self-respect is highly important and if he doesn’t respect you, it’s only a matter of time when you will stop respeitar-se a si próprio. E então, temos um problema.
2. Ele está a esconder coisas de ti
Trust is the most important ingredient of a successful relationship. It’s the ground on which you build your future life with the one you love. If you are not honest with each other, your relationship will fail sooner or later.
You won’t know if he is lying to you at the beginning, but he won’t be able to withhold the truth for so long. It will eventually come out in the open.
You don’t deserve to be treated like this. Just remember that there are plenty of guys out there who would treat you like their princess, who would never lie to you because they simply trust you.
Eles sabem que os vai ajudar e compreender sem os julgar.
3. Ele está a bloquear-te
This is pretty much the same as ignoring someone. He won’t even acknowledge your presence.
Se estiver a falar com ele e a tentar explicar-lhe o que sente ou a tentar resolver algum problema, ele ignora-a completamente e fica a olhar para o telemóvel ou simplesmente abandona a conversa sem o anunciar.
Why? Simply, because he doesn’t give a damn. This is not healthy behavior. By stonewalling your partner, the two of you can only grow more apart even if there was a chance to solve your problems.
Tens o direito de ser ouvido. A tua voz tem de ser ouvida. Mesmo que não tenhas razão, tens o direito de dizer o que queres. Ninguém pode ou deve impedir-te de o fazeres.
Don’t fool yourself by desculpando-se com ele, that he is tired or whatever. If you don’t stop this in time, it will only get worse.
4. Retém o afeto
Maybe you did something he doesn’t approve of or dislikes and he wants to punish you by withholding affection. He doesn’t want to give you love in order to teach you a lesson.
We are all human beings. We need the human touch and we need to be held in someone’s arms. In short, we need love and we need to be loved.
You have to realize that if you’ve been true to yourself and honest, you don’t have to be punished. Actually, no one deserves to be punished, no matter what they did, and you don’t either.
A recusa de amor pode não o afetar imediatamente, mas causará mais dor e consequências mais tarde na vida.
5. He doesn’t respect your boundaries
Ele está a roubar o seu sentido de identidade. Se ele está constantemente a incluí-la nas coisas que gosta de fazer sem lhe perguntar primeiro ou sem lhe dar a oportunidade de dizer se gosta ou não da ideia dele, está a negar-lhe o direito de ser quem realmente é.
You have your boundaries as we all do. You have things you like doing and things you hate. If he doesn’t respect that, well then he is nothing more than a selfish jerk who only wants what is good for him.
Don’t give anyone the power to control your happiness. You have to be the one no comando da sua vida and if the two of you don’t like the same things, you should try to find that out and not force each other to do what only one of you likes. You mustn’t give him that much power over you.
Porque, quando olhares para ela, a tua vida vai acabar e a única coisa de que te vais lembrar são as coisas que ele queria fazer e os sítios onde queria ir.
Onde é que isso vos deixa? O que fizeste da tua vida? Era a tua vida de todo?
