5 comportamenti tossici di lui che distruggeranno la vostra relazione

At the beginning everything is easy. You are blinded by infatuation and the sexual chemistry is too strong to see what is really going on or what your partner is truly like. We all give the best of ourselves to impress whoever we are dating. Most of us hide our imperfections, but that is completely understandable if you don’t have anything serious to hide.

Il vero problema sorge quando ci si imbatte in qualcuno che è tossico. Naturalmente, nasconderà questo lato di sé perché vuole attirarvi. Si presenterà come perfetto e impeccabile finché non vi allenterete un po' e inizierete a fidarvi di lui.

When the honeymoon phase is over, the masks drop and you are finally able to see the true face of your loved one. The problem is that most of us get comfortable and we put down our guards. That’s when the toxic behaviors start emerging.

There doesn’t have to be anything big at first. Actually, there never is. Toxic behaviors are disclosed bit by bit until they cause a great explosion of emotions and finally a catastrophe.

To prevent becoming a victim of toxic behavior, it’s best not to give in to the passion completely at the beginning. Try to look at things with a different pair of eyes, like it’s happening to someone else.

Cercate di essere obiettivi e prudenti. Forse allora vedrete tutti gli allarmi rossi che vi stanno gridando di uscire da quell'ambiente tossico.

Questi sono i comportamenti tossici che presenta e che faranno andare a rotoli la vostra relazione:

1. He can’t stand criticism

Quando c'è un problema nella vostra relazione che vi rende infelici e quando lo affrontate, lui si arrabbia. Qualsiasi cosa diciate, qualsiasi critica gli facciate, lui reagisce in modo esagerato.

You think that after some time you’ve been together, he will realize that you don’t want to put him down but help him become better by showing him his mistakes and things he did that hurt you. But, he doesn’t get it that way.

He thinks you are out to get him and humiliate him. Therefore, any overreaction by him as feedback on something you’ve got to say is clearly showing disrespect to you.

By doing this, he is telling you he doesn’t want to hear what you’ve got to say. He doesn’t respect you.

Don’t let this happen to you. No one has the right to control your life or to see you submissive to him. If you are feeling unhappy, you have the right to talk about it.

If he denies you this, then it’s better to leave than to deal with much greater consequences that will follow.

Your self-respect is highly important and if he doesn’t respect you, it’s only a matter of time when you will stop rispettare se stessi. E poi, c'è un problema.

2. Vi sta nascondendo qualcosa

Trust is the most important ingredient of a successful relationship. It’s the ground on which you build your future life with the one you love. If you are not honest with each other, your relationship will fail sooner or later.

You won’t know if he is lying to you at the beginning, but he won’t be able to withhold the truth for so long. It will eventually come out in the open.

You don’t deserve to be treated like this. Just remember that there are plenty of guys out there who would treat you like their princess, who would never lie to you because they simply trust you.

Sanno che li aiuterete e li capirete senza giudicare.

3. Vi sta ostacolando

This is pretty much the same as ignoring someone. He won’t even acknowledge your presence.

Se state parlando con lui e cercate di spiegargli come vi sentite o di risolvere un problema, vi ignorerà completamente e fisserà il suo telefono o abbandonerà la conversazione senza annunciarlo.

Why? Simply, because he doesn’t give a damn. This is not healthy behavior. By stonewalling your partner, the two of you can only grow more apart even if there was a chance to solve your problems.

Avete il diritto di essere ascoltati. La vostra voce deve essere ascoltata. Anche se non avete ragione, avete il diritto di dire ciò che volete. Nessuno può o deve impedirvi di farlo.

Don’t fool yourself by trovare scuse per lui, that he is tired or whatever. If you don’t stop this in time, it will only get worse.

4. Trattiene l'affetto

Maybe you did something he doesn’t approve of or dislikes and he wants to punish you by withholding affection. He doesn’t want to give you love in order to teach you a lesson.

We are all human beings. We need the human touch and we need to be held in someone’s arms. In short, we need love and we need to be loved.

You have to realize that if you’ve been true to yourself and honest, you don’t have to be punished. Actually, no one deserves to be punished, no matter what they did, and you don’t either.

Il rifiuto dell'amore potrebbe non avere conseguenze immediate, ma causerà dolore e conseguenze maggiori più avanti nella vita.

5. He doesn’t respect your boundaries

Vi sta rubando il senso di sé. Se vi include costantemente nelle cose che gli piace fare senza chiedervelo prima o senza darvi la possibilità di dire se la sua idea vi piace o meno, vi sta negando il diritto di essere chi siete veramente.

You have your boundaries as we all do. You have things you like doing and things you hate. If he doesn’t respect that, well then he is nothing more than a selfish jerk who only wants what is good for him.

Don’t give anyone the power to control your happiness. You have to be the one al comando della vostra vita and if the two of you don’t like the same things, you should try to find that out and not force each other to do what only one of you likes. You mustn’t give him that much power over you.

Perché, a ben guardare, la sua vita finirà e l'unica cosa che ricorderà saranno le cose che voleva fare e i posti in cui voleva andare.

Che ne è stato di te? Cosa ne hai fatto della tua vita? Era proprio la tua vita?