5 sinais de que você tem medo de se curar (e nem percebe)

Apesar de tudo o que dizem, há pessoas que se recusam a esquecer as recordações e a dor. Agarram-se com força ao passado, sem sequer terem consciência disso.

There are people who don’t allow time to do its magic. The ones who refuse to start the repairing process simply because it means they’d have to accept the end. The ones who don’t want to heal because they are scared of the real life which awaits them after they recover.

Here are 5 signs that you’re one of these people and that your fear is responsible for the fact that you’re not cura.

1. Só te lembras das coisas boas

The first sign you actually don’t want to let go lies in the fact that you don’t look at your past relationship realistically. Instead of remembering things the way they really were, you only think of the good times and beautiful memories.

Tendo isto em conta, é perfeitamente natural que pense no passado como sendo muito melhor do que realmente foi. Idealiza o seu ex e tudo o que sentiu ao lado dele, o que torna impossível a sua cura.

Fica a pensar no potencial da sua relação passada, pensando em tudo o que poderia e deveria ter acontecido, se vocês tivessem feito as coisas funcionar. Em vez disso, o que deve fazer é olhar a verdade nos olhos e perceber que acabou por uma razão válida e que estava longe de ser perfeito.

2. Romantiza a dor

While looking at your relationship through rose-tinted glasses, somehow you’ve also managed to romanticize the emotional pain that’s been consuming you. Instead of seeing it as something you need to get rid of ASAP, you’ve found something noble and divine in it.

Deep down, you are proud of yourself for being this consistent. You’re proud of being capable of loving one man for as long as you breathe, even if this is the man who’s caused you so much harm.

Well, let me tell you something—despite everything the love songs, poems and novels are trying to tell you, there is nothing poetic about wasting years crying over someone. There is nothing romantic about being emotionally damaged and there doesn’t exist such a thing as being beautifully broken.

3. E tornou-se familiar

Another sign that you’re scared of healing, without even realizing it, is the fact that with years, the pain has become familiar. This is something you don’t see at first but if you dig through your subconscious, you’ll see that it really did become your comfort zone.

After so much time you’ve spent suffering, holding on to the past and thinking about the man who hurt you became a habit of yours. After so much time, you convinced yourself that sadness is the only emotion you know how to feel.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that you should have pretended that the pain isn’t real because that wouldn’t bring you any good either. However, it is obvious that you’ve allowed it to definir quem é.

Whether you like to admit it or not, the fact is that you’ve ceased to exist outside of the pain. You’ve stopped being a daughter, a sister, a mother or a friend and you’ve reduced your entire being to a broken-hearted woman. Please, remember that you’re much more than that!

4. Pensa que toda a gente é como o seu ex

Quando uma pessoa nos faz tanto mal, é natural que percamos a fé em toda a humanidade. Pensa que toda a gente tem a intenção de lhe partir o coração e que todos os homens são iguais ao seu ex.

Assim, sem ter consciência disso, agarra-se à memória dele porque é melhor do que se expor e expor as suas vulnerabilidades a alguém novo que pode acabar por tratá-la da mesma forma que o seu ex.

5. Or that you’ll never find someone like him

Of course, there is also the possibility that you’re convinced you’ll never encontrar alguém melhor and that no man on this earth could ever make you feel the way he did. Maybe your ex-boyfriend manipulated you into thinking that he was the best you’d ever find so now you think it is pointless to even try searching for someone new.

Not wanting to settle for a loveless relationship just so you don’t end up being single is one thing. However, not giving anyone a chance just because you are convinced you could never love again after your ex is not only foolish but is also a sure-fire sign that you are actually afraid of healing.