When you start a romantic relationship, the last thing that is on your mind is if it will turn into a toxic one or if it will remain a healthy one. Some of us don’t even see the bandeiras vermelhasPor isso, pensamos que se trata apenas de uma crise que vai passar rapidamente.

Mas, no final, acabamos por nos magoar e isso é inevitável numa relação tóxica. Por isso, se não tem a certeza do que deve tolerar numa relação e do que deve cortar no momento em que o vê, aqui estão algumas coisas a que deve prestar atenção.

1. As pessoas com relações saudáveis têm uma enorme confiança umas nas outras.

They don’t’ freak out every time their partner goes out with their companions and they don’t go crazy when someone hits on their partner. They know that their partner chose them and that there is nobody they would rather be with.

People in toxic relationships check each other’s personal stuff. They are so obsessed with cheating that they will probably check their partner’s social media sites accounts and texts from their cell phone. The bad thing is that if they continue to act like that, they will soon burn out because that is not a good way to be in a relationship.

2. As pessoas com relações saudáveis incentivam os seus parceiros a serem a melhor versão de si próprios.

They feel happy when their partners reach their goals and when things go well in their lives. They are not jealous of each other and they are happy with the lives they’ve created for themselves.

As pessoas em relações tóxicas retraem os seus parceiros. They are terrified of the idea that their partners succeed in their lives and that they are stuck somewhere in the middle. That’s why they try to hold them back and to give them mau conselho.

3. As pessoas com relações saudáveis têm o seu próprio tempo livre.

They don’t want to be stuck with their partners all the time because they cherish the time they spend alone or with their friends and family. They know how that is important and they would never sacrifice it.

Pessoas em relações tóxicas estão colados uns aos outros. They are extremely insecure and they think that if they leave their partners alone that someone will steal them. They have low self-esteem and no matter whether they enjoy themselves in their partner’s company or not, they will still be with them.

4. As pessoas numa relação saudável são iguais.

Isso significa que ambos podem fazer o que quiserem, mas, ao mesmo tempo, têm de estar atentos para não magoar a pessoa amada. Respeitam-se mutuamente e tratam-se como é suposto.

People in toxic relationships don’t have equal status. Um deles é sempre dominante e o outro tem de lhe obedecer. Se o homem é dominante, a rapariga deve fazer tudo o que ele quer e deve esquecer as suas aspirações e os seus desejos.

5. As pessoas com relações saudáveis comunicam abertamente.

Even if there are bumps on the road, they try to handle them in a normal and civilized way. They don’t want to fight with each other because they don’t see the point in that so they talk openly about things that they are not comfortable with.

People in toxic relationships don’t communicate openly. Gostam de fazer tratamentos silenciosos whenever things get bad. That is their way of handling problems. They simply act like children and don’t want to make the first move to actually solve the problem.

6. As pessoas que vivem uma relação saudável aceitam-se completamente.

Recusam-se a mudar um ao outro porque se apaixonaram por essas pessoas apenas por serem como são. Por isso, seria errado mudar algo de que realmente gostamos, certo?

As pessoas em relações tóxicas procuram uma mudança constante. The truth is that people like this can’t aceitam completamente os seus parceiros. They would prefer it if they could mold them into something they like. They would like it if their partners would behave like puppets and they would be their masters. I probably don’t have to explain why this kind of relationship is sick!

7. As pessoas que mantêm relações saudáveis apoiam-se mutuamente.

They think that their partner is their best friend at the same time and they want to be with them whenever they need it. No matter what happens, they will be first to help and to tell them that everything will be okay. They are true friends and they don’t have problems going the extra mile for their loved ones.

As pessoas que vivem em relações tóxicas nunca dão apoio aos seus parceiros. A reason for this might be the lack of love and respect, but they still don’t want to break up because they feel much safer when they have someone they can lean on. They think it is better to be in any kind of relationship than being alone. The final result is a person who is unhappy and who lost every hope in eternal love.