7 fases de cura após abuso verbal tóxico

Verbal abuse is the fastest way to diminish and finally destroy someone’s self-esteem. The mind games and the control consumes your life completely, and after some time, your life loses every inch of beauty it had.

Depois de ter sido emocionalmente e abusado verbalmente, darkness descends over you. You begin to see abuse even though abuse is not present because it’s the kind of life you’ve gotten used to by now.

Os medos tomam conta de nós e entramos em modo de proteção, construindo muros muito altos à nossa volta. Tudo isto por causa de uma pessoa pobre e insegura que tinha de o fazer sentir-se mal, para poder ter um sentimento de superioridade.

The truth is, in almost all cases of verbal and emotional abuse, the victim is so much better than the abuser in every sense possible. That’s the main reason why the victim is abused in the first place.

A verbal abuser is capable of making you feel like you’re losing your mind, and any sense of stability is gone.

Antes de entrar em modo de cura, you have to admit to yourself that the person you’re living with or dating is an abuser.

Don’t be ashamed of that. Don’t blame yourself because there is nothing you could have done to prevent it, and there is no way you could have known he is that kind of a person.

You have to come to peace with the fact you’ve been abused. I know those issues and the trauma you’ve been through seems unbearable, but believe me, it’s not.

Now, you think you’re never going to recover. You think you’re going to stay damaged for the rest of your life. But, that is not true. That’s just the reflection of the state you’re currently in.

Mas acreditem em mim, isto também há-de passar.

Como sarar depois de ter sido emocional e verbalmente abusado:

1. Don’t believe the lie

Whatever a toxic person tells you is a lie. Don’t believe those words because they are only said to hurt you. That is their primary goal – to make sente-se inútil. Porque as pessoas sem autoestima são pessoas mais fáceis de controlar.

Mas ninguém é feito de pedra e até as palavras de um completo estranho podem entrar no nosso coração e fingir que são verdadeiras.

You have to fight against those lies, actively choosing which words you’ll take to your heart and which you’ll turn your back on.

2. Pedir apoio e amor

After you’ve been emotionally and verbally abused, you need huge amounts of love. You need someone to hold you or listen to you. You need reassurance – someone who will tell you everything will be alright.

If you don’t ask for it, no one will give you what you want. People can’t read minds, and sometimes when you’re hurt, others might not recognize it immediately.

Por isso, pede ajuda. Peça amor quando precisar, e a pessoa certa reconhecerá o seu pedido de ajuda.

3. Start believing that you’re good enough

Faça o que for necessário para esquecer a relação em que esteve e trabalhe para recuperar a sua autoestima. Fique sozinho. Chore mil lágrimas. Grite, grite, ou vá para o meio das pessoas e passeie. Faz o que te parecer melhor no momento.

We are all different from each other, and we don’t work in the same ways. Some of us need loneliness; some of us need company. Whatever you need, take it, and bring back your self-esteem because you’re good enough.

4. Perdoe-se a si próprio

Forgiveness is hard, and when you need to forgive yourself, it’s even harder. You have to come to terms with the fact that the person you trusted betrayed you and led you astray. It’s hard enough to imagine that happening to you, let alone accept it truly did.

The betrayed person becomes guarded and builds walls around, trying to shut down from emotions which make them vulnerable. Closing inside can only bring more damage. It’s much healthier to open up to pain and accept it. You’ll forgive yourself easier and move on.

5. Utilizar a natureza como uma ferramenta de cura

Dê um passeio. Respire o poder que a natureza tem para lhe oferecer. Relaxe a sua mente e o seu corpo. Viva esse momento e deixe de lado tudo o que está na sua mente.

Quando a negatividade o consumir, vire-se para as árvores e para o ar fresco, porque a natureza estará sempre lá para relaxar a sua mente e mostrar-lhe como o mundo pode ser belo.

6. Perdoa o teu agressor

I know this is almost impossible for you to read and let alone do. But, abusers are people who need help. At first, you’re furious because of the things your abuser did to you, but what you need to realize is that evil plants its seed in the most suitable ground.

Those abusers are lost people who have gone astray and are unhappy with themselves. They seek approval and power by torturing others. And to them, that is the way to go. They don’t know any different. They need professional help.

Perdoa-lhes. Livra-te da má semente que tens dentro de ti e segue em frente com a tua vida.

7. Concentre-se noutra coisa e escolha o amor

Concentre-se em melhorar e esqueça os maus tratos por que passou. Sempre que a vida o abalar e começar a duvidar de si próprio, lembre-se de que quer melhorar; quer trazer de volta o seu antigo eu.

And in the end, it’s up to you whether you’re going to heal or not. We are all faced with a choice. We can choose self-love or we can choose self-loathing.

So, what’s it gonna be?