7 Qualidades que eu pensava querer num parceiro até conhecer o meu atual namorado

Like many women out there, I too admit that I’ve been guilty of constantly falling for the wrong guys. I always had this kind of imaginary list of qualities that my partner should have, and every single time I met someone who had everything from the list, I would end up being disappointed.

I couldn’t understand why this “curse” became a big, endless repeat, and I didn’t know how to stop it. It is really frustrating to think that you’ve met the one every time you meet someone who has the qualities you’ve been looking for so long.

Mas, depois, as coisas mudaram. As coisas mudaram DRASTICAMENTE (mudaram para o lado positivo, claro) quando conheci o meu atual namorado. 

And the biggest irony of all is that he’s the total opposite of any of my previous partners.

This made me realize that those qualities I was looking for are actually one big bullshit because my current boyfriend lacks all of them, and I’ve never been happier in my life!

Yup. This made me realize that I don’t really want any of these qualities in my partner.

Eu só pensamento Eu queria e precisava deles, mas o meu atual namorado mostrou-me que não são importantes nem essenciais para estabelecer uma relação feliz e bem sucedida!

7 QUALIDADES QUE EU PENSAVA QUERER NUM PARCEIRO ATÉ CONHECER O MEU ACTUAL NAMORADO

1. Someone who’s (overly) spontaneous

I mean, who doesn’t like to be around people who are spontaneous? It’s in our human nature to want to have fun and do crazy things with someone who is the embodiment of spontaneity (especially if we are lacking it).

But, I’ve realized that being (overly) spontaneous has its bad sides as well, and I’m glad that my current partner in a way lacks it.

It’s one thing to live life as you please, and it’s completely another to be spontaneously irresponsible, and live life like there’s no tomorrow.

And I’ve realized that there’s a really thin line between the two. Most of my spontaneous partners turned out to be irresponsible and fucked up which influenced the entire course of our relationship as well.

Ver também: 5 razões inesperadas para continuar a atrair os homens errados

2. Someone who’s the life of the party

À semelhança da anterior, costumava escolher os meus parceiros de acordo com o quão convidativos e divertidos eram.

Sempre me apaixonei por aqueles tipos que eram a vida da festa, que eram insaciáveis no que diz respeito a beber, dançar e fazer figura de parvos.

Mas agora apercebo-me de que isso foi totalmente errado e sei perfeitamente porquê.

It’s because guys who are the life of the party are thirsty for attention (aka attention whores), and it can be really stressful and sometimes unbearable to deal with them in certain situations.

3. Alguém que me queira agradar de todas as formas possíveis

No, I don’t mean anything sexual, but it could refer to that, too.

What I mean is I don’t want someone who wants to please me mentally in every way possible.

I don’t want someone who is afraid to contradict me when needed and to say what they really mean.

Unfortunately, I’ve realized it too late, but better late than never, right?

4. Alguém com problemas que precisam de ser resolvidos

Oh, lord. I can’t emphasize how mad I am at myself for this one. I always tended to fall for bad boys who need fixing.

I guess it’s in my nature to feel sorry for them and want to help them at any cost (and each one cost me a lot of time and nerves as well).

I always felt good when I was able to help them and show them a different perspective of life, but I didn’t understand that by doing it, I was ferir-me a mim próprio.

Em vez de me divertir com um parceiro que tem tudo controlado, perdi o meu tempo a tentar consertar almas despedaçadas e a imaginar que tenho alguns poderes especiais que as vão curar e tornar o mundo um lugar melhor.

5. Alguém cuja maior prioridade seja a nossa relação

Sim. Sempre tive medo que o meu parceiro me negligenciasse a mim e à nossa relação, por isso estava literalmente obcecada por estar com alguém cuja maior prioridade fosse a nossa relação.

I can’t even describe how happy I am now with my current boyfriend because he understands the need to spend some time alone.

Esta é, de facto, uma das coisas mais importantes em qualquer relação.

Todos nós devemos ter algum tempo para recarregar as energias e passar tempo com os nossos amigos e família. Concentrarmo-nos apenas na relação não é nada saudável e está condenado.

6. Someone who’s heavy on the compliments

I bet there isn’t any woman out there who doesn’t like to receive compliments.

Todas nós gostamos de ouvir que o nosso cabelo está bonito, que a nossa roupa e o nosso corpo estão na moda, e apaixonamo-nos sempre por aquele tipo que sabe como fazer elogios perfeitos.

But, by doing that, we forget about our personality as well! By being blinded by these “trivial” compliments, we forget to think about more important ones regarding our souls.

And I can’t even explain you how grateful I am for finally being with someone who doesn’t only focus on my looks. It’s really refreshing and motivating!

7. Someone who’s just there to provide me with an escape

We’re back to the bad boys again. All this time, I only wanted to be with someone who was just there to provide me with an escape.

Sempre me apaixonei por mauzões que faziam coisas malucas que lhes aumentavam a adrenalina, e isso fazia-me sentir tão viva.

Pensava que estava a viver o momento, mas apercebi-me de que, em vez disso, estava a perder muita coisa.

With my current boyfriend, I’ve learned that living in the moment means being present physically and mentally, without any of that crazy shit and the need to prove yourself something that is not true.

I’ve realized that I don’t need any of these. Real relationships are about being there for each other and focusing on the good things instead of solely providing an escape to each other. And, believe me, I’ve never been happier in my life!

Ver também: Para o único homem que me fez sentir viva, mas que era errado para mim