7 qualità che pensavo di volere in un partner finché non ho incontrato il mio attuale fidanzato
Like many women out there, I too admit that I’ve been guilty of constantly falling for the wrong guys. I always had this kind of imaginary list of qualities that my partner should have, and every single time I met someone who had everything from the list, I would end up being disappointed.
I couldn’t understand why this “curse” became a big, endless repeat, and I didn’t know how to stop it. It is really frustrating to think that you’ve met the one every time you meet someone who has the qualities you’ve been looking for so long.
Ma poi le cose sono cambiate. Le cose sono cambiate drasticamente (in positivo, ovviamente) quando ho incontrato il mio attuale ragazzo.
And the biggest irony of all is that he’s the total opposite of any of my previous partners.
This made me realize that those qualities I was looking for are actually one big bullshit because my current boyfriend lacks all of them, and I’ve never been happier in my life!
Yup. This made me realize that I don’t really want any of these qualities in my partner.
Ho solo pensiero Ne volevo e ne ho bisogno, ma il mio attuale fidanzato mi ha dimostrato che non sono né importanti né indispensabili per stabilire una relazione felice e di successo!
7 QUALITÀ CHE PENSAVO DI VOLERE IN UN PARTNER FINCHÉ NON HO INCONTRATO IL MIO ATTUALE FIDANZATO
1. Someone who’s (overly) spontaneous
I mean, who doesn’t like to be around people who are spontaneous? It’s in our human nature to want to have fun and do crazy things with someone who is the embodiment of spontaneity (especially if we are lacking it).
But, I’ve realized that being (overly) spontaneous has its bad sides as well, and I’m glad that my current partner in a way lacks it.
It’s one thing to live life as you please, and it’s completely another to be spontaneously irresponsible, and live life like there’s no tomorrow.
And I’ve realized that there’s a really thin line between the two. Most of my spontaneous partners turned out to be irresponsible and fucked up which influenced the entire course of our relationship as well.
Vedi anche: 5 ragioni inaspettate per cui continuate ad attrarre tutti i ragazzi sbagliati
2. Someone who’s the life of the party
Come nel caso precedente, sceglievo i miei partner in base a quanto fossero invitanti e divertenti da frequentare.
Mi sono sempre innamorata di quei ragazzi che erano l'anima della festa, insaziabili nel bere, nel ballare e nel rendersi ridicoli.
Ma ora mi rendo conto che era del tutto sbagliato e so perfettamente perché.
It’s because guys who are the life of the party are thirsty for attention (aka attention whores), and it can be really stressful and sometimes unbearable to deal with them in certain situations.
3. Qualcuno che vuole compiacermi in ogni modo possibile
No, I don’t mean anything sexual, but it could refer to that, too.
What I mean is I don’t want someone who wants to please me mentally in every way possible.
I don’t want someone who is afraid to contradict me when needed and to say what they really mean.
Unfortunately, I’ve realized it too late, but better late than never, right?
4. Qualcuno con problemi da risolvere
Oh, lord. I can’t emphasize how mad I am at myself for this one. I always tended to fall for bad boys who need fixing.
I guess it’s in my nature to feel sorry for them and want to help them at any cost (and each one cost me a lot of time and nerves as well).
I always felt good when I was able to help them and show them a different perspective of life, but I didn’t understand that by doing it, I was farmi del male.
Invece di divertirmi con un partner che ha le sue carte in regola, ho sprecato il mio tempo cercando di aggiustare anime distrutte e immaginando di avere qualche potere speciale che le guarirà e renderà il mondo un posto migliore.
5. Qualcuno la cui priorità è la nostra relazione
Già. Ho sempre avuto paura che il mio partner trascurasse me e la nostra relazione, quindi ero letteralmente ossessionata dall'idea di stare con qualcuno la cui priorità principale fosse la nostra relazione.
I can’t even describe how happy I am now with my current boyfriend because he understands the need to spend some time alone.
Questa è davvero una delle cose più importanti in ogni relazione.
Tutti noi dovremmo avere del tempo per noi stessi, per ricaricarci e per passare del tempo con i nostri amici e la nostra famiglia. Concentrarsi solo sul rapporto di coppia è del tutto malsano e destinato a fallire.
6. Someone who’s heavy on the compliments
I bet there isn’t any woman out there who doesn’t like to receive compliments.
A tutte noi piace sentirci dire che i nostri capelli sono belli, che il nostro vestito e il nostro corpo sono sexy, e ci innamoriamo sempre di quell'unico ragazzo che sa Come fare complimenti perfetti.
But, by doing that, we forget about our personality as well! By being blinded by these “trivial” compliments, we forget to think about more important ones regarding our souls.
And I can’t even explain you how grateful I am for finally being with someone who doesn’t only focus on my looks. It’s really refreshing and motivating!
7. Someone who’s just there to provide me with an escape
We’re back to the bad boys again. All this time, I only wanted to be with someone who was just there to provide me with an escape.
Mi sono sempre innamorata dei cattivi ragazzi che facevano cose folli per aumentare l'adrenalina, e questo mi faceva sentire così viva.
Pensavo di vivere il momento, per poi rendermi conto che invece mi stavo perdendo molto.
With my current boyfriend, I’ve learned that living in the moment means being present physically and mentally, without any of that crazy shit and the need to prove yourself something that is not true.
I’ve realized that I don’t need any of these. Real relationships are about being there for each other and focusing on the good things instead of solely providing an escape to each other. And, believe me, I’ve never been happier in my life!
Vedi anche: All'unico uomo che mi ha fatto sentire viva ma che era sbagliato per me
