Parece quase redundante procurar os sinais de uma má relação. Mas, na realidade, mantemo-nos em más relações muito mais tempo do que deveríamos. Uma das principais razões é que estamos tão habituados a que as coisas corram mal, que até o mau se torna normal. A outra razão, ainda mais forte, é o facto de gostarmos da pessoa e continuarmos a ter esperança de que as coisas possam ser resolvidas e que toda a situação possa mudar para melhor.

We have to realize that getting used to being unhappy is not a solution. You need someone whose main objective is to make you happy as yours is to make him happy. We also have to realize that sometimes love isn’t enough although it’s the most important. As relações precisam de trust, honesty, respect, mutual efforts and constant work. Otherwise, love can’t survive.

That’s why sometimes we need a little bit of help and signs that will open our eyes and see the harsh reality of things:

1. O seu parceiro é demasiado controlador.

You feel like you lack freedom. He is watching your every move and doesn’t allow you to breathe. In these situations, you are dealing with a toxic manipulator or with a highly jealous person. Relationships with any of them will suffocate you, alienate you from your friends and inevitably cause you pain. Relationships are built on trust and both partners should have their own space and time. If you don’t have trust, respect, and freedom, it’s time to say the final goodbye.

2. Ele disfarça os insultos em piadas.

“It’s a joke.”, “Don’t be mad.” ,“Why do you take everything so close to heart?” are some of the sentences he uses as cover for plain insults. But you know that it’s not a joke if you both aren’t laughing. Don’t allow him to put you down or treat you like a joke.

3. A vossa comunicação resume-se a lutas.

Fighting from time to time can be constructive and make a relationship grow, but that can’t be your only form of communication. If fights become a part of your daily routine, you are in trouble. You and our partner clearly can’t find the same language and you are unable to solve anything. The best thing to do here is to realize that you simply fail to understand each other and in spite of your feelings, you shouldn’t stay with him.

4. You can’t remember why you are together to begin with.

You lack everything in your relationship. Simple gestures of kindness and affection are not existent. You try holding on to the ‘good old days’ but they are so far behind that you can’t recall them clearly anymore. You ask yourself how did you end up here and why are you putting up and tolerating everything. But the real question is why aren’t you packing your bags? Life is too short to be with someone who makes you unhappy.

5. Está a ficar por hábito.

Esta é a armadilha do relações duradouras. People stay together for so long that they, themselves, are not sure if they are staying in a bad relationship out of love or out of habit. Sure you have feelings after such a long time but is that person standing next to you really somebody you can see your entire future with? Are they ready to work on things and fix things that can be fixed? Are they the ones for you? If the answer is ‘no’, the sooner you end things the better for both of you.

6. Ele é abusivo.

Whether it’s physical or emotional abuse there is no reason at all to stay. Period. The person you are with should treat you with respect and tenderness. It should never cross their minds to use or abuse you in any way. If their love is true, they wouldn’t even think of harming you. Leave immediately.

7. Já tentou arranjar as coisas mais vezes do que consegue contar.

Já tentaste tudo o que podias imaginar. Teve os seus altos e baixos. Normalmente, o seu parceiro tenta durante um curto período de tempo e depois volta aos seus velhos hábitos. Se as coisas na sua relação não têm reparação, não vale a pena ficar. O facto de tentar reparar as coisas apenas prolonga o fim inevitável.