8 estágios de cura depois de escapar do abuso narcisista

Eu tinha uma amiga. Era uma rapariga bonita. Estava sempre a sorrir, mesmo quando não tinha motivos para o fazer.

Ela olhava para o mundo de uma perspetiva positiva. Queria sempre olhar apenas para as coisas bonitas e procurar o melhor em toda a gente. Era uma felicidade ambulante.

Acreditem, o mundo era um lugar melhor por causa dela.

Sadly, good people don’t always have a happy fate, nor did she and she didn’t deserve it either. She deserved none of what she got.

She didn’t deserve him spitting in her face, the horrific screams every night. She didn’t deserve her heart being ripped open and torn apart into thousands of pieces.

She didn’t deserve her self-confidence being taken away from her. She didn’t deserve falling flat on her face at the lowest point in her life and for what?

All because of the piece of narcissistic shit that walked into her life with one purpose only—to suck her dry and feast himself on her.

He manipulated her into oblivion. He isolated her from the world so she couldn’t get any help and he made her incompetent to seek it herself.

Ele fê-la acreditar que ela não era ninguém, que ninguém se importava com ela e que ela devia estar feliz por alguém a querer.

Ele fê-la acreditar que tinha de estar grata por o ter a ele, o seu agressor.

O seu caminho estava coberto de espinhos que a faziam sangrar mais, a cada passo que dava em direção à sua felicidade, à sua fuga.

Mas essas feridas sararam e deixaram de sangrar. Depois disso, ficou com cicatrizes que ficaram gravadas na sua pele como uma lembrança daquilo por que tinha passado.

Ela curou-se e aqui está como.

Ela decidiu curar-se

Aconteceu do nada. O seu mecanismo de proteção saltou e disparou, gritando que era agora ou nunca.

Ela sabia que tinha de fazer alguma coisa. Estava farta de manipulações e de se sentir um pedaço de merda, indigna da vida.

She knew that wasn’t her and finally, she decided she would do something about it. She decided she would bring back her old self because no one had that kind of consuming power over her to make her stay in the condition she was in. She learned how to deal with narcissistic behavior. 

Ela livrou-se da toxicidade

She is an empath and she has always walked in other people’s shoes, trying to understand how they felt, so she walked in the shoes of her narcissist and that destruiu-a. Ele derramou toxicidade no seu corpo e mente, mas ela sabia disso e sabia que tinha de se livrar dele.

Falou com as pessoas que a apoiaram em todas as fases do processo, juntou-se a grupos de apoio e conseguiu libertar-se da toxicidade dele.

It didn’t happen overnight and it was painful but she was brave enough to take this step. This way, she was one step closer to healing completely.

Ela teve de lidar com a crise

She was feeling anxious because now all of a sudden there was no more fighting and screaming in her life. There was no one there to tell her what to do or manipulate and guilt-trip her into doing something she didn’t want to do.

She wasn’t observed and judged, she was finally free and she didn’t know how to deal with it. It was all too much, too soon. Imagine that you’ve been in bed for months and now that you are getting better, you feel you can walk and you want to walk, but you can’t. Your body doesn’t let you.

Her body didn’t let her relax. It was still hurt and didn’t know how to function again. So she gave it some time.

Ela encarou-a ansiedade and her fears because she knew it wouldn’t last forever. It was only a phase which would pass and she would come out of it as a winner.

Ela deixou-se zangar

She didn’t hold her feelings inside her because she knew that would only destroy her more. She knew she wouldn’t be able to continue pretending nothing had happened because she felt everything.

She couldn’t turn off her feelings, she needed to accept them and be angry—be angry at him for taking advantage of her and be angry at herself for letting him.

Sentia dores por todo o corpo, dores psicológicas que se transformaram em dores físicas, e estava zangada com isso. Estava zangada consigo própria porque tinha deixado o seu corpo sofrer, juntamente com o seu coração e a sua alma.

Mas isso também passou e ela passou para o desafio seguinte.

Ela perdoou-se a si própria aceitando a verdade

She forgave herself because she knew it wasn’t her fault. She knew he was sick and his manipulations were strictly designed to stray her from her path and bring her to him so he could perform his magic, and suck the blood out of her like the vampiro emocional ele era.

She accepted he was toxic and his only goal was to hurt her; it’s the way he functioned. She realized she had been used and she had fallen into a narcissistic trap, from which she barely escaped. She forgave herself because she didn’t know any better.

Ela era uma pessoa empática que só queria ajudar e fazer as pessoas sorrirem. No final, conseguiu, mas isso consumiu-a e deixou-a sem nada dentro de si para além de dor e sofrimento.

Ela confessou que sempre soube

Finalmente assumiu a responsabilidade e admitiu que uma parte dela sabia o que se estava a passar desde o início, mas era muito mais fácil acreditar que ele iria mudar e tornar tudo melhor novamente.

She fooled herself because it meant she didn’t have to go through everything she did, she didn’t have to be heartbroken, and she didn’t have to take the path to recovering from a narcissist, which is extremely painful and long.

Ela respeitou a regra de não contacto

Os narcisistas voltam. Farão tudo o que for preciso para a ter de volta. Mentem e tentam manipulá-la para que volte a confiar neles, para que volte para eles e eles possam abusar de si outra vez.

Ela sabia disso e respeitava a regra de não contacto. She didn’t want to have anything to do with him. She ignored his texts, his calls, and his failed attempt to trash-talk her to her friends. She cut him off completely and that is what saved her from ever going back.

Ela abraçou a sua vida e finalmente deixou-a ir

A fase final foi a da libertação. A fase final foi aquela em que ela se sentiu livre, em que recuperou o seu sorriso.

She forgave herself and peeked deep into her soul and she found all the love that was missing—the love for herself, respect for herself and a belief in a better world and long-term happiness.

Hoje, ela é de novo aquela linda rapariga que conheci há muito tempo, trazendo sorrisos a todos, incluindo o seu.