Mulher louca? 8 maneiras eficazes de lidar com ela com sucesso

There’s no point beating around the bush here. If you’re reading this article, it’s clear that you’re dealing with what you would call a crazy wife. And I can totally get that.

I’ve had my fair share of crazy exes with insane mood swings and nagging behavior, who went from being a good guy to a narcissist in disguise in a really short amount of time.

Now, saying that you have a crazy wife carries a heavy load, so I’m guessing you’re currently struggling in your relationship and her pessoa louca behavior isn’t helping much… Am I getting warm?

Well, I can tell you one thing: you’re in the right place.

See, I’m a self-proclaimed expert for crazy exes and if I’ve been able to get through an extremely rough patch with my formerly crazy husband through a bunch of really effective steps, I guarantee you’ll find this helpful too!

It’s not embarrassing to admit that you’re struggling. You should never be ashamed of dealing with stuff you feel is weighing you down to the point of no return.

We’ve all had some challenging experiences with crazy exes (and current partners) but if this person is worth the fight, then you owe it to them and to your marital union to stick it out and not give up when the shit hits the fan.

You’re the only one who knows what exactly you’re dealing with, so it’s not my intention to judge.

I only hope that you’ll give it a fair chance before calling it quits because, after all, this crazy wife used to be so special to you.

O pior que se pode fazer é desistir antes mesmo de lhe dar uma oportunidade de se tornar a melhor esposa tu saber ela pode ser!

Give her the benefit of the doubt and hold her hand instead of calling her names. There’s a reason you took her hand in marriage.

Before getting into a detailed evaluation of your situation and explaining how to handle your crazy wife’s low self-esteem that led to her crazy outbursts, let me just say that couples counseling has been a saving grace for my partner and me.

Juntamente com muitos outros passos necessários, um conselheiro de casais conseguiu apontar a verdadeira causa da loucura e ajudou-nos a ir mais fundo e a tentar mais.

There will be challenging times in your marriage, but hey, there’s a first time for everything, right?

Don’t back off your marriage before actually making an effort. She’ll be worth the challenge. A little understanding and positive feedback goes a long way!

Ver também: 7 sinais de uma esposa emocionalmente distante e por que ela se tornou assim

Porque é que tenho uma mulher louca?

It’s true that you don’t really know a person until you start living with them (been there, done that!). And it’s true.

Ficamos com uma boa noção de quem é alguém como pessoa, mas só depois de casar é que ficamos a conhecer todos os aspectos da sua personalidade.

Now, you’re clearly wondering Porque é que de repente estou a lidar com um mulher louca? ou Por que razão a minha namorada se tornou totalmente psicopata comigo? and I’m here to offer you answers.

See, women go through a fair amount of hormonal changes throughout their entire life (PMS, pregnancy hormones, menopause… you name it!) so we don’t have it easy at all from the get-go.

E quando todas aquelas hormonas incómodas começam a perturbar a paz interior, a coisa pode ficar muito feia, muito rapidamente.

O seu mulher louca might simply be going through the changes or she’s struggling with something and trying to keep it all inside for the sake of your marriage.

Mas basta uma pequena coisa para a fazer explodir na pior altura possível e fazer-nos pensar que a sua saúde mental está realmente a deteriorar-se.

It’s not. She’s not suffering from any mental illnesses. She’s going through a LOT and she’s just trying to keep herself from falling apart (not knowing it’s all about to unravel in the ugliest ways…)

She’s trying to keep herself from shattering into pieces, and her nagging and psych-related issues are merely a reflection of how she’s feeling inside.

If you find yourself a target of her emotional outbursts, know that it most probably isn’t about tu.

It’s about much deeper issues that have been plaguing her mind for quite some time and she hasn’t found a healthy way to deal with them, so she has turned into the crazy wife you never expected to deal with. And yet, here you are.

Poderá pensar para si próprio: mulher louca – crazy life! But that’s not necessarily the case in my experience.

See, you’re in this thing forever (marriage, that is). Calling your wife crazy and deeming yourself Mr. Perfect will get you nowhere, as you’re pointing fingers here and clearing yourself of all blame.

But let me tell you something, mister. You’re half to blame for your wife’s issues.

Who’s the one too busy to text her back because he doesn’t have time for chit chat (as if you’re the only one with a job)?

Who’s the one who forgets about the ONE thing she specifically asked you to pick at the grocery store (which she needs in order to make YOU a delicious meal)?

Who’s the one who can go to bed and just doze off while three issues are hanging over your heads, while your wife is begging you to talk it through in order to sleep soundly?

Por isso, antes de começar a chamar louca à sua mulher, comece a notar um padrão de comportamento que tu ajudou a instigar e a assumir a sua quota-parte de culpa. Ninguém decide simplesmente causar estragos na sua vida. Especialmente a sua mulher.

This is a woman who’s been trying so damn hard to make the entire life you’ve created together trabalho e evitar que ela rebente pelas costuras!

Instead of calling yourself a good guy for ”putting up with her,” roll up your sleeves and give her the attention she truly needs.

Quer que ela volte a ser como era antes? Quer desesperadamente evitar o aconselhamento de casais?

Depois, prepare-se para a ouvir de facto compreender e cuidar dela como prometeram nos vossos votos.

It’s time to roll up your sleeves and help her be the melhor esposa ela pode ser. Tudo começa consigo e é assim que faz com que resulte.

Ver também: 8 problemas de relacionamentos à distância (e como fazê-los funcionar)

Don’t call her crazy

Como provavelmente adivinham, ser chamado louco doesn’t rub ANYONE the right way.

If you want to have the best wife ever, perhaps it’s time for some positive feedback instead of derogatory name-calling? Good luck getting anywhere if you keep naming names.

Chamar-lhe a tua mulher louca só a deixa mais nervosa e, assim, ninguém ganha.

Don’t allow her to develop mental health problems just because she’s expected to be okay with incessant putdowns. Be mindful of what comes out of your mouth.

As palavras deixam feridas mais profundas do que se possa pensar.

The whole goal should be to pull your wife closer and to make her feel more appreciated and at ease. That’s how you’ll get to the bottom of what’s bothering her.

Calling your spouse crazy is counter-effective to what you’re trying to accomplish.

Words stay with her for a very long time, so change your attitude toward her and never call her a crazy person again. She’s your wife, not your annoying narcissist of a neighbor.

Continuar a ser o parceiro racional

In a marriage, it’s all about partnership. Arguments will break out, you’ll start bickering, and harsh words will be said.

It’s going to be really challenging trying to keep a cool head throughout the whole thing, but since you know you have a bit of a crazy wife, TU vão ter de ser o parceiro racional aqui.

One of you needs to keep cool and defuse the situation when things get overly heated. In this instance, you’re going to have to put on your big-boy pants and step up.

Cuide da sua mulher da forma como ela precisa de si.

Your responsibility as a husband is to try and find a resolution to issues when your wife is unable to. It’s perfectly normal that you both get frustrated and get short with each other.

But one of you has to be the adult here, and that’s you. Stop ranting and bitching about her to your friends. That’s a coward’s way out.

Talk to her instead – don’t leave the house and slam the door in her face. Stick around and show her that you CARE.

Giving up and leaving is all too easy, but that’s not what you signed up for when you married her.

Prometeu estar lá para ela nos bons momentos e mau, então prove-o sendo a voz da razão quando tudo o que quer fazer é bater com a porta.

Ver também: As 18 principais razões para ser feliz agora mesmo, aconteça o que acontecer

Lembre-se porque é que casou com ela em primeiro lugar

Quando as coisas ficarem difíceis e o mundo o derrubar, dê um passeio pela estrada da memória e lembre-se de todas as razões pelas quais se apaixonou por ela.

Think back on your beginnings and every single thing she did that made you say ”Yup, she’s the one for me. That’s my girl!”

I find it the most effective method to deal with my relationship problems when I foolishly start thinking I’ve reached the end line.

I just start to reminisce about all the things that made me fall in love with my man in the first place…

A forma como ele me conquistou, apesar de eu estar extremamente relutante em baixar a guarda. A forma como o seu humor seco fez-me rir mais do que eu me queria permitir.

The way he’d give me his hoodie when I was cold and tweet out the most cheesy (yet adorably sweet) things about me… Trust me, I could go on and on!

Bottom line – there are SO many reasons why you’re married to this woman. Calling her your crazy wife is completely undeserving.

She may be struggling right now, but there was a time when she was your rock and number one supporter. Don’t you think it’s time to return the favor?

Don’t be a bystander in your marriage

Uma das piores coisas que se pode fazer é desaparecer no fundo e bloquear mentalmente todos os problemas do seu casamento.

And that’s wrong on multiple levels. Firstly, it resolves nada e só o faz distanciar-se da sua mulher numa altura em que ela mais precisa de si.

And secondly, it’s hurtful to leave her hanging when you know she’d never leave your side.

Don’t just be a bystander in your own relationship. Take initiative and find ways to actively deal with your crazy wife.

There’s a reason why she’s always nagging at you and having jealous outbursts. You won’t find out what it is by observing from a safe distance and leaving her to her own devices.

Seja um homem e trate dos seus problemas conjugais. Seja um marido e ajude a sua mulher a reencontrar o seu caminho.

Be a decent human being and don’t ignore a person during their most challenging times.

Watching your life pass you by will backfire at some point. Don’t waste these precious years by choosing to passively observe your wife’s journey toward oblivion.

Faça com que ela se deixe disso, cumprindo a sua parte neste casamento.

Afinal, esta é a sua mulher. Ela merece mais do que um marido que se recusa a sujar as mãos e que desaparece em segundo plano. Mantenha-se na linha da frente e lute pela sua mulher.

Ver também: Períodos de transição: 10 maneiras de tornar o processo mais fácil

Tentar encontrar a raiz do problema

Quando é que ela começou a comportar-se de forma invulgar? Quando foi a primeira vez que começou a notar mudanças no comportamento dela que o começaram a preocupar?

I’m sure you didn’t sempre have a crazy wife. She must’ve been fine before and then something clicked and it all changed.

The most important thing is to figure out what’s bothering her and in what way you’ve contributed to this. Do you not text her enough, therefore leaving her worried about your whereabouts?

Tem o hábito de ficar fora até tarde da noite sem falar com ela?

Tem estado a negligenciá-la por causa do trabalho e esqueceu-se completamente dos seus planos para o fim de semana em mais do que uma ocasião? Pode ser tudo isso junto!

You’d be surprised how much those seemingly small things really matter to a woman.

Esquecer-se de lhe telefonar, faltar ao vosso jantar de aniversário, negligenciar o vosso tempo de qualidade juntos, tudo isto contribui para uma união conjugal infeliz e uma esposa negligenciada e infeliz que se tem aguentado o mais que pode.

And now, she can no longer stand constantly playing second fiddle to your work, friends, or whatever else, and she’s turned into someone she doesn’t want to be. 

Aceita o teu papel nesta situação e arranja o que precisa de ser arranjado!

Partilhe os seus sentimentos sem se retrair

Quer saber o que as mulheres REALMENTE gostam num homem? A capacidade de ser aberto e honesto sobre os seus sentimentos sem deixar que toda essa treta machista o impeça de ser genuíno.

É capaz de partilhar os seus sentimentos com a sua mulher?

When was the last time you had an open conversation where you let it all out without holding anything back? I know it’s hard to open up, but this is your mulher, not some stranger. You’re safe with her!

Being transparent and genuine lets you share even the things you wouldn’t normally be comfortable sharing, and that’s what helps you resolve issues without using harsh words.

Diga-lhe como o comportamento dela o faz sentir e mostre-lhe que quer perceber de onde vem esse comportamento.

Don’t use accusatory tone but rather be calm and collected while conveying your thoughts in a manner that will show her that her behavior is affecting your marriage negatively.

If you meet her halfway, I assure you she’ll accept your olive branch and deal with this better.

Ela só precisa de se sentir vista e ouvida por si! Por vezes, um pouco de feedback positivo é tudo o que uma rapariga precisa.

Ver também: Porque é que a mudança é necessária para o desenvolvimento e crescimento pessoal

Ouvir para compreender (e não para retaliar)

Dealing with a crazy wife isn’t easy, so I don’t expect you to always be able to keep it together and never lash out.

But even though it’s normal to lose your cool every now and again, try to really listen to your wife in a way where you’re focused on what she’s trying to tell you and não de uma forma em que esperas a tua vez para retaliar.

Picking fights is easy, but understanding the root of them is difficult. Next time she’s being irrational, try to truly hear her out.

If she’s yelling about you always staying suspiciously long at work, let her know that you’ll do your best to come home in time for dinner with her, and actually do it!

Whatever she’s going off about, HEAR it and try to accommodate her needs. Is she really being crazy or is she simply asking you to consider her feelings but not putting it in the best way?

Once you stop retaliating and start hearing what she’s trying to tell you, your marriage will start thriving, because people often forget that communication is key.

Estabelecer algumas regras básicas

Now that you’ve finally started listening to your wife as opposed to blocking her out and refusing to take your part of the blame, you finally have a shot at making this work.

Chegou o momento de estabelecer algumas regras básicas que impeçam qualquer um de vocês de atacar em momentos de dificuldade e, em vez disso, recorrer a uma solução melhor.

Converse com a sua mulher sobre este assunto e decidam quais devem ser essas regras e o seu objetivo final.

I’m presuming that your end goal is to stop having a crazy wife by helping her get better, and her end goal is to finally feel heard and understood. Both are reasonable and attainable.

So now would be the time to practice what you preach. If you’re all about weeding out the negativity and embracing healthy coping tactics, then, by all means, implement them in your daily life.

This goes for both of you. When she starts feeling the urge to yell or accuse you of something, she should be reminded to dial it down and respect the boundaries you’ve set, and the same goes for you.

Deixe que as suas novas limitações o ajudem a libertar-se de hábitos tóxicos e a transformar-se num ser humano melhor, mais saudável e mais feliz.

Ver também: Sexo com amigos? Os 10 maiores segredos que ninguém lhe vai contar

Considerações finais

Hopefully, this article has provided you with some much-needed answers and an insight into the female brain that can cause her to act in a way detrimental to everyone’s well-being.

Pode ter pensado que tinha uma mulher louca, mas a realidade é: são precisos dois para dançar o tango!

As coisas que a levam a agir de forma louca são normalmente as coisas com as quais também tem algo a ver.

You can’t expect to have the best wife on the planet without doing your part to make her feel the way she deserves.

E agora, já percebeste o que quero dizer. Falar com ela em vez de a evitar é o caminho a seguir.

Finding the middle ground and embracing your part of the guilt is one step closer toward a resolution. And step it up when she can’t, because marriage is a partnership.

Both partners aren’t always going to be able to give it their all, so step up your game when your wife is struggling.

Give her the benefit of the doubt, because once she’s better, she’ll never forget what you’ve done for her.

You can’t always expect it to be smooth sailing, but with a little bit of effort, you can get pretty darn close!