Levantem a mão se, de alguma forma, a culpa é sempre vossa

"Lembras-te de o meu ex-companheiro me gritar quando estávamos a ter mais uma discussão por ele não fazer a sua parte do trabalho?

“I don’t understand what the big deal is, you’re the one who wanted to live in this stupid, overpriced apartment anyway,” he said pointedly as if he had nothing to do with it.

Como sempre, foi culpa minha. Eu era o editor-chefe do que quer que tivesse corrido mal desta vez. Eu era o mau da fita.

Isto acontece-lhe? Está cansado de ser sempre o mau da fita?

It sounds fun if you’re a TV series character, but when it comes to real-life relationships, it’s no fun at all.

It’s sua culpa he broke the glass that you left on the counter. It’s sua culpa he comes home tired from work and never does anything productive. It’s sua culpa things are not “how they used to be.”

You’ve probably been told too many times that you were to blame for something that happened totally beyond your control. Apart from being a complete lie, it must’ve been hurtful to hear, especially from a loved one.

I’ve been there. As a matter of fact, I kept on believing it was somehow my fault even though it never was, and let me tell you, it has left consequences.

Even today, I struggle to see things objectively and not fall into the loop of self-blaming, even when nobody suggests I’m guilty of something.

Not only that, but I have an unhealthily frequent habit to excuse and explain others even when they don’t deserve it.

Things like this slowly take over your life. They shape your thoughts and before you know it, you’re stuck in another repeating cycle of feeling guilt and making excuses.

How come one person can be responsible for everything that goes wrong in someone else’s life? The short answer is they can’t and never can be.

A resposta longa é mais complicada. A pessoa que culpa procura desesperadamente razões para a sua própria miséria noutro lugar.

Naturally, it’s easier for them, and people in general, to point the finger at someone else, instead of looking at themselves in the mirror. This is exactly why there’s so much misunderstanding and hate in the world.

On the other hand, there are those who take the blame without realizing it’s not theirs, and – you guessed it – this is what creates an unhealthy dynamic between the two.

Nenhum deles tem razão e, verdade seja dita, provavelmente estão apenas a repetir padrões de comportamento que aprenderam no passado.

Felizmente, as coisas podem ser mudadas quando as tornamos conscientes.

People who blame everyone else but themselves always prey on those with a lack of sel-esteem – who already have a problem with guilt.

But there’s the catch. The person who’s being accused also has a problem. They also have some kind of victim mentality that keeps landing them in the same situations.

Lembro-me que cheguei a um ponto em que tudo o que fazia parecia errado. Não tinha limites pessoais. Não tinha respeito por mim próprio.

It’s true that people can take advantage of you, but it’s also true that you can stop them.

Com o tempo, apercebi-me de que todas as pessoas são responsáveis pelos seus actos, incluindo eu.

We’re all guilty of something, just don’t let it define you.

Sometimes things are beyond our control, however, how we react to them isn’t.

That’s when I learned to refuse to take on someone else’s burden if it’s going to break my back. That’s when I learned that it’s not culpa minha.

Em vez disso, comecei a concentrar a minha atenção em coisas que podem ser mudadas e corrigidas, em vez de sentir uma culpa absurda.

Desde então, nunca mais olhei para trás.