Alzi la mano chi in qualche modo è sempre colpa sua

"Ricordo che il mio ex partner mi urlava contro mentre stavamo discutendo per l'ennesima volta sul fatto che lui non faceva la sua parte di lavoro.

“I don’t understand what the big deal is, you’re the one who wanted to live in this stupid, overpriced apartment anyway,” he said pointedly as if he had nothing to do with it.

Come sempre, è stato colpa mia. Ero il caporedattore di qualsiasi cosa fosse andata male questa volta. Ero il cattivo.

Succede anche a voi? Siete stanchi di essere sempre i cattivo?

It sounds fun if you’re a TV series character, but when it comes to real-life relationships, it’s no fun at all.

It’s la tua colpa he broke the glass that you left on the counter. It’s la tua colpa he comes home tired from work and never does anything productive. It’s la tua colpa things are not “how they used to be.”

You’ve probably been told too many times that you were to blame for something that happened totally beyond your control. Apart from being a complete lie, it must’ve been hurtful to hear, especially from a loved one.

I’ve been there. As a matter of fact, I kept on believing it was somehow my fault even though it never was, and let me tell you, it has left consequences.

Even today, I struggle to see things objectively and not fall into the loop of self-blaming, even when nobody suggests I’m guilty of something.

Not only that, but I have an unhealthily frequent habit to excuse and explain others even when they don’t deserve it.

Things like this slowly take over your life. They shape your thoughts and before you know it, you’re stuck in another repeating cycle of feeling guilt and making excuses.

How come one person can be responsible for everything that goes wrong in someone else’s life? The short answer is they can’t and never can be.

La risposta lunga è più complicata. La persona che incolpa cerca disperatamente altrove le ragioni della propria infelicità.

Naturally, it’s easier for them, and people in general, to point the finger at someone else, instead of looking at themselves in the mirror. This is exactly why there’s so much misunderstanding and hate in the world.

On the other hand, there are those who take the blame without realizing it’s not theirs, and – you guessed it – this is what creates an unhealthy dynamic between the two.

Nessuno di loro ha ragione e, a dire il vero, probabilmente continuano a ripetere modelli comportamentali appresi in passato.

Per fortuna, le cose possono essere cambiate una volta che le rendiamo consapevoli.

People who blame everyone else but themselves always prey on those with a lack of sel-esteem – who already have a problem with guilt.

But there’s the catch. The person who’s being accused also has a problem. They also have some kind of victim mentality that keeps landing them in the same situations.

Ricordo che sono arrivata al punto in cui tutto ciò che facevo mi sembrava sbagliato. Non avevo limiti personali. Non avevo rispetto per me stessa.

It’s true that people can take advantage of you, but it’s also true that you can stop them.

Con il tempo ho capito che tutte le persone sono responsabili delle proprie azioni, me compreso.

We’re all guilty of something, just don’t let it define you.

Sometimes things are beyond our control, however, how we react to them isn’t.

That’s when I learned to refuse to take on someone else’s burden if it’s going to break my back. That’s when I learned that it’s not colpa mia.

Invece, ho iniziato a spostare la mia attenzione su cose che possono essere cambiate e sistemate, invece di provare sensi di colpa insensati.

Da allora non mi sono più guardato indietro.