Mulher chora dizendo que a maternidade nunca foi feita para uma pessoa só

You can’t really understand the full meaning of the old proverb “It takes a village to raise a child” until you become a mom. Then you get the picture of how parenting is a very tough job and you’re surprised by how many things you have to do.

Navegar motherhood in today’s world includes a whole set of struggles. You need to take care of the kids, cook, and maintain the household. Then there’s a mental load – an overwhelming list of tasks that moms keep track of daily.

If you’re a working mom then it gets even harder. You’re under constant stress, conciliar as responsabilidades profissionais com as necessidades familiares, and there’s little time for self-care.

As redes sociais servem-no com glimpses of someone else’s life and creates pressure to be perfect. Sente-se inadequado e culpado.

Mas uma das lutas mais ignoradas da maternidade é que As mães enfrentam frequentemente sentimentos de isolamento e solidão. Em parte porque o seu novo horário não deixa tempo para socializar, e em parte porque os seus amigos sem filhos se tornam subitamente distantes.

Uma mulher em lágrimas falou sobre este assunto numa vídeo no TikTok:

“Mothers and children are like a forgotten species in our modern-day society”

Woman explains that when you become a mother people start treating you like you’re not the same person anymore.

“Like you become a mom and then suddenly you’re like pushed out, ‘go find your mommy and me group’, ‘go figure it out on your own’, and ‘we’ll see you when you can be productive again.’”

Em seguida, apresenta uma perspetiva reveladora, falando sobre a ideia essencial da maternidade tradicional. Algo de que nos esquecemos:

“The job of being a mother, it feels a lot for one person, because it was never meant to be for one person. It was meant for a village.”

Ela quer sublinhar a importância de cuidados que são cruciais para as mães modernas, porque normalmente não têm qualquer apoio e carregam um fardo muito pesado. Also, there is tremendous change happening in women’s lives and they need help to adjust to it:

“They need rest, they need proper nutrition. They need help, they need love, they need loving touch. They, you know, to just help them through this transition from woman to mother.”

Outros TikTokers (do sexo feminino, claro) concordaram e partilharam as suas experiências em como é solitário ser mãe. Alguém escreveu que até os amigos deixam de o convidar para eventos ou reuniões porque:

“We didn’t think you’d want to come because of the baby”

Os comentários mostraram como as mulheres sentem-se de facto excluídas e isoladas quando se tornam mães. A maioria concordou com a sua afirmação e acrescentou que a sociedade impõe grandes expectativas às mulheres.

“I feel like motherhood meant for us but we weren’t meant to do all the other things society expects from us.”

Depois, quando se é mãe, as pessoas comportam-se como se a maternidade tivesse feito com que se perdesse a inteligência:

A metáfora da aldeia adquire então um verdadeiro significado:

“Right?! I always wondered what people were talking about, but now I’m a mother I totally get what they mean by a ‘village’.”

Existe sem apoio e empatia porque as pessoas acreditam que ser pai ou mãe é uma escolha pessoal e que ninguém se deve preocupar com isso:

Sometimes you have to make your own “society” as the one you are coming from is doing everything to make it hard for you. Friends and coworkers often perceive women who use maternity leave as unsuccessful and lazy.

“it’s true, I’ve returned to work and I feel like I’m being shamed for having been off work, and potentially wanting more children.”

Quando as mulheres optam por ser mães que ficam em casa, as pessoas começam a fazê-las sentir-se inúteis:

Societal pressure is causing women to feel bad because they’re not contributing financially while they are stay-at-home moms. 

Also, it’s quite common: you’ve been there for everyone, and now when you’re in need they disappear in thin air:

“I was everyones village. Now that i have my own i have no one.”

However, we shouldn’t forget what it’s like for those women who don’t plan on having kids. Society requires women to be moms if they want to be accepted and perceived as a part of the group. Those who don’t have children are looked down upon even by women:

Até eles recebem o tratamento de isolamento:

“the opposite has happened to me. i don’t want children and all my friends have had them, i no longer get included.”

Ser mulher hoje em dia inclui tantos desafios diferentes. Com filhos ou sem eles, the feeling of exclusion is something you’ll probably face one way or another.

Mas pode encontrar o seu aldeia.

Procure grupos locais de pais, comunidades em linha ou comunidades nas redes sociais onde possa contactar com outras mães. Construir um é essencial para partilhar experiências, conselhos e apoio emocional.

This will help you understand that you’re doing an amazing job, help you with your doubts, and remind you to celebrate your accomplishments!