Una mujer llora diciendo que la maternidad nunca fue para una sola persona

You can’t really understand the full meaning of the old proverb “It takes a village to raise a child” until you become a mom. Then you get the picture of how parenting is a very tough job and you’re surprised by how many things you have to do.

Navegar por motherhood in today’s world includes a whole set of struggles. You need to take care of the kids, cook, and maintain the household. Then there’s a mental load – an overwhelming list of tasks that moms keep track of daily.

If you’re a working mom then it gets even harder. You’re under constant stress, compaginar las responsabilidades profesionales con las necesidades familiares, and there’s little time for self-care.

Los medios sociales le sirven para glimpses of someone else’s life and creates pressure to be perfect. Te sientes incapaz y culpable.

Pero una de las luchas más ignoradas de la maternidad es que Las madres se enfrentan a menudo a sentimientos de aislamiento y soledad. En parte porque su nuevo horario no les deja tiempo para socializar, y en parte porque sus amigos sin hijos de repente se vuelven distantes.

Una mujer entre lágrimas habló de ello en un vídeo en TikTok:

“Mothers and children are like a forgotten species in our modern-day society”

Woman explains that when you become a mother people start treating you like you’re not the same person anymore.

“Like you become a mom and then suddenly you’re like pushed out, ‘go find your mommy and me group’, ‘go figure it out on your own’, and ‘we’ll see you when you can be productive again.’”

A continuación, presenta una perspectiva reveladora, hablando de la idea esencial de la maternidad tradicional. Algo que habíamos olvidado:

“The job of being a mother, it feels a lot for one person, because it was never meant to be for one person. It was meant for a village.”

Quiere destacar la importancia de cuidado que es crucial para las madres modernas porque suelen carecen de todo apoyo mientras soportan una carga muy pesada. Also, there is tremendous change happening in women’s lives and they need help to adjust to it:

“They need rest, they need proper nutrition. They need help, they need love, they need loving touch. They, you know, to just help them through this transition from woman to mother.”

Otros TikTokers (mujeres, por supuesto) estuvieron de acuerdo y compartieron sus experiencias en lo solo que se siente ser madre. Alguien escribió cómo incluso los amigos dejan de invitarte a eventos o reuniones porque:

“We didn’t think you’d want to come because of the baby”

Los comentarios mostraban cómo las mujeres se sienten realmente excluidas y aisladas cuando se convierten en madres. La mayoría se mostró de acuerdo con su afirmación y añadió cómo la sociedad fija grandes expectativas para las mujeres.

“I feel like motherhood meant for us but we weren’t meant to do all the other things society expects from us.”

Luego, cuando te conviertes en madre, la gente se comporta como si la maternidad te hubiera hecho perder la inteligencia:

Entonces la metáfora de la aldea adquiere su verdadero significado:

“Right?! I always wondered what people were talking about, but now I’m a mother I totally get what they mean by a ‘village’.”

Hay falta de apoyo y empatía ya que la gente cree que ser padre es una elección personal y que nadie debería preocuparse por ello:

Sometimes you have to make your own “society” as the one you are coming from is doing everything to make it hard for you. Friends and coworkers often perceive women who use maternity leave as unsuccessful and lazy.

“it’s true, I’ve returned to work and I feel like I’m being shamed for having been off work, and potentially wanting more children.”

Cuando las mujeres eligen ser amas de casa, la gente empieza a hacerlas sentir que no valen nada:

Societal pressure is causing women to feel bad because they’re not contributing financially while they are stay-at-home moms. 

Also, it’s quite common: you’ve been there for everyone, and now when you’re in need they disappear in thin air:

“I was everyones village. Now that i have my own i have no one.”

However, we shouldn’t forget what it’s like for those women who don’t plan on having kids. Society requires women to be moms if they want to be accepted and perceived as a part of the group. Those who don’t have children are looked down upon even by women:

Incluso ellos reciben el tratamiento de aislamiento:

“the opposite has happened to me. i don’t want children and all my friends have had them, i no longer get included.”

Ser mujer hoy en día conlleva muchos retos. Con hijos o sin ellos, the feeling of exclusion is something you’ll probably face one way or another.

Pero puede encontrar su pueblo.

Busca grupos locales de padres, comunidades en línea o en las redes sociales donde puedas conectar con otras madres. Crear una es esencial para compartir experiencias, consejos y apoyo emocional.

This will help you understand that you’re doing an amazing job, help you with your doubts, and remind you to celebrate your accomplishments!