A verdade é que nunca serás o homem que eu quero que sejas

Eu queria tanto que tudo desse certo para nós. Queria que fosses o meu feliz para sempreo meu melhor amigo, e o homem em quem posso confiar. Queria que olhasses para mim como se eu fosse a coisa mais preciosa que tens na vida.

Queria que ficasses louco por mim, que precisasses de mim como precisas do ar nos teus pulmões. Precisava que me pusesses em primeiro lugar, que pedisses a minha opinião e que me lembrasses de como sou boa de vez em quando.

But none of that happened. I gave you my everything and you didn’t reciprocate. You didn’t even try; I was the one who was keeping us alive.

You probably thought, “Why bother over someone who is already mine?” Right?

I don’t know if you ever loved me or just pretended to get things you wanted from me. If you were pretending, then I must say that you did it perfectly well. I never doubted anything you told me or did for me.

You knew the perfect way to deceive me and get all that you wanted from me, while I was always at your disposal trying to satisfy you. I couldn’t recognize that you were just taking advantage of me. I believed all that you told me; I believed that you love me and that you can’t live without me.

Mas, na verdade, era o oposto. Podias viver sem mim porque eu nunca significava assim tanto para ti. Eu era bom só porque te conhecia tão bem. Eu era bom porque sabia que tipo de café gostavas, o que comias ao pequeno-almoço e como gostavas que as tuas roupas estivessem organizadas no teu guarda-roupa para poderes encontrar facilmente o que precisavas.

You didn’t need a lover. You needed a housekeeper. Someone to clean, iron, and cook. Then someone you could take to bed from time to time when you want it.

Alguém que olhasse para si e admirasse todos os seus êxitos empresariais. Precisavas de alguém que obedecesse a tudo o que dizes e respeitar a sua opinião mais do que eles respeitam os seus.

Precisavas de uma vítima que fosse tudo o que sempre quiseste, alguém que sacrificasse a sua vida e o seu tempo para te fazer sentir bem. E querias que tudo isso acontecesse em nome do amor.

E sabes o que foi o pior?

I accepted to be that woman. I accepted to put myself second, to obey all your rules, and to be the woman you would like. I changed so much just so you would like me more. I still don’t know why I did it, but I finally know that you weren’t worth it. No man is worth it, in fact.

And the one who is will never make you go through something like that. In trying to impress you, I lost myself completely. All my days were focused on you and on what you wanted. I didn’t even care about myself because you were the one who was more important.

I gave myself to a man who couldn’t care less for me. I thought that I found real love, where in the end, it was everything but love. It was a period in my life that cost me my nerves, well-being, and peace.

Nunca pensei que uma mulher forte e independente como eu se apaixonasse por alguém como tu. Nunca pensei que um homem fosse capaz de me enganar e de me obrigar a fazer tudo o que ele quer. Nunca pensei que alguma vez colocaria outra pessoa em primeiro lugar. Mas todas essas coisas aconteceram. E foram piores do que eu jamais poderia imaginar. Amei-te como uma louca e, no fim, acabei por ser chamada de louca por ti.

I wanted my peace so much, but you wouldn’t have it, telling me that I was weird for wanting to be alone all the time. And the truth is that I didn’t want to be alone, I just wanted to be saved from you.

When you told me you don’t like me spending time with my friends, at first I thought that it’s just because you love me so much and kind of sweet for not wanting to share me with other people.

Mas quando se transformou em controlo obsessivo e iluminação artificial, I knew I should do something about that. I couldn’t lose my identity so easily. That should never happen. I couldn’t let you take my life into your hands. And even though I gave you plenty of opportunities to change, that never happened. And it never will.

That’s why this time, I am giving up on everything. I am giving up on your fake love, on your empty words, and on your actions you never took to show me your love. Your pseudo-love is killing me and it is time to finally save myself.

Staying with you will just hurt me more and I am already destroyed from all your lies and cheating. I am leaving because you never were, you aren’t, and you never will be the man worthy of me.

Só espero que todos estes anos que passaste comigo tenham servido para alguma coisa e que tenhas aprendido como não se deve tratar uma mulher. Também espero que te arrependas de tudo o que me fizeste.

And what’s most important, I hope that one day, you will forgive yourself for all the torture you put me through. Because the truth is, I have no intention of doing that.