O dia em que te deixei ir

“I promise I will never let you go!” – Disseste-me isso quando estávamos deitados na tua cama, nus e cansados de fazer amor.

Sentia-me a pessoa mais segura nos teus braços e pensava para mim mesma como era feliz. Na verdade, nunca consegui perceber como é que Deus me enviou um homem tão bom. Eras tudo aquilo com que eu sempre sonhei.

You were handsome, successful, passionate, kind, and supportive. Every woman would fall in love with you in the blink of an eye. And I wasn’t an exception. Our love was passionate and without limitations. We were fighting with passion and afterward making love with passion.

Amei-te até à lua e de volta, e estava disposto a passar o resto da minha vida contigo.

But being blindly in love with you, I couldn’t see other things. Things that scarred my life. Things I will never be able to forget. Nor forgive.

Enquanto eu sonhava com o nosso futuro e em ter filhos juntos, tu tinhas outro plano.

You were a hedonist—a man who lives his life to the fullest. Unfortunately, your plan didn’t include me.

Andavas a sair com outras mulheres enquanto eu esperava que voltasses para casa. Talvez algumas delas fossem melhores do que eu, por isso decidiste dormir com elas. Eu era apenas um disfarce para a tua família e amigos. Eu era a boa, a pura e honesta, aquela com quem terias filhos. Aquela que vai fingir que está tudo bem enquanto o seu mundo está a desmoronar. Querias fazer com que eu parecesse outra pessoa.

Querias que eu fosse a atriz principal do filme da tua vida. Fizeste tudo isso porque eu tinha todas as predisposições para ser uma esposa ideal e uma mãe dedicada. Enganavas-me sempre que tinhas oportunidade.

Sem remorsos, sem sequer pensar em mim.

You swore that you loved me while you were buying jewelry for one of your mistresses. And the worst part was that I didn’t know anything about it. I was living in ignorance, and I was thanking God for making me such a lucky woman.

But a lie has no legs. Eventually, I found out what you had been doing to me all those years. You were constantly cheating on me while I thought everything was okay. I must admit, you were a damn good actor. I definitely didn’t see this one coming. And when I found out what you did to me, it felt like a cold shower. I couldn’t say even a word. I just stood there, trying to move my body, but I couldn’t. Everything was too perfect to end up like this. But unfortunately, it ended.

E a principal razão para isso foste tu!

When I saw you coming to apologize, I pretended that I didn’t care while really, I was falling apart inside. You said that you were sorry and that it was only one night, your moment of weakness. You said that you loved me and that it wasn’t your intention to hurt me.

You said so much crap and halfway through your story, I just stopped listening to you. I couldn’t stand that anymore. I couldn’t stand that shit can happen to a good girl like me. I couldn’t stand that we always lose the ones we love. I couldn’t stand that someone cheated on me. And most of all I couldn’t stand that it was you.

Nesse dia decidi deixar-te ir!

The day when I let you go I was born again. I burned all the bridges between you and me. I didn’t want to see you or hear from you anymore. Because you had your chance, and you blew it.

I wanted to move on and moving on doesn’t mean not loving someone anymore. It is about having the strength to say: “I still love you, but you are not worth this pain!”

Um dia, vais lembrar-te de mim e do quanto te amei, e vais odiar-te por me teres deixado ir.

Já que decidiste deixar-me ir, agora é a altura de eu fazer o mesmo!

Adeus para sempre!