Prefiro ficar solteiro para sempre a jogar estes 12 jogos de encontros

Já chega de jogos de encontros. Estou exausta. 

I don’t like playing them, and I hate feeling like a toy a man can easily toss. 

All the tactics, head games, chasing, who texted who first, who is clingy, who is cool… are not allowing me to enjoy dating. 

I want something normal—a relationship in which a man and a woman meet each other halfway. Without all the drama, chasing and hoping in vain. 

Juro que preferia ficar para sempre solteiro than play along with someone’s dating game. 

Estas são as coisas que me recuso a fazer: 

1. Fingir que não estou interessado 

It’s a thin line between interested and clingy. That’s why we all try to play it cool. We are so careful not to reveal too much that we seem stone cold.

I am tired of it. What’s the point in non-texting back ASAP when you want to or saying you can’t go out with them tonight when every atom of your being says you do. 

Pretending like you couldn’t care less for the person is just as much a turnoff as clinginess. That’s why, if you ask me, the best thing is to find the middle ground and stay true to your feelings. 

2. Provocar ciúmes

I’ve been in situations where the person I am into would check out other women in front of me or flirt with them just to see my reaction. 

It’s a low blow, and I don’t want anybody to feel as miserable as I did in those moments. 

Por isso, se a única forma de conquistar um homem é fazendo-lhe ciúmes, então ele não é a pessoa certa para mim.  

3. Atraso na resposta

I think most of us have tried this technique. We’ve been told time and time again that replying within a few seconds of getting a text will make us seem desperate. 

Por isso, esperamos uma hora ou mais e depois respondemos na esperança de que isso faça com que um homem nos persiga. 

Pode haver alguma verdade nisso, e até pode funcionar em certas ocasiões. Ainda assim, prefiro não o fazer porque sei como me senti mal quando me fizeram o mesmo. 

Verificava o meu telemóvel a cada poucos minutos. Olhar para um ecrã vazio era tão dececionante que me deixava triste. 

I get that not every text can be answered right away, but they can’t all be replied to too late, now can they?  It’s playing head games, and I won’t be a part of it. 

4. Dar falsas esperanças

I’ve never done this to anyone, but I’ve been amarrado no passado. Viver na expetativa de algo que poderia ser, esperando por dias melhores no futuro é uma perda de tempo.

From now on, either we are in an exclusive relationship or we are nothing. Everything besides that is a kind of torture I don’t need in my life. I’ve been through a lot as it is.  

Being somebody’s almost when they are your everything is the worst, and I won’t play along. I won’t be anybody’s toy. 

5. Agir como se estivéssemos interessados nas mesmas coisas 

Pretending I like football or hockey when I don’t know the first thing about it is not for me. It’s for the girls in high school who desperately want their crush to like them. 

I’m too old for that shit, to put it bluntly. Me and my potential significant others don’t have to have everything in common.

Ter alguns interesses semelhantes é mais do que suficiente para ter conversas significativas e criar laços.

If we don’t even have a few, it’s better to know right from the start than act like I am somebody I am not. I would be exhausted from it in no time. 

6. Ser usado como um meio de fazer ciúmes à ex

It’s an awful thing falling in love for someone who is using you to get back at their ex. That situation is hurtful for everybody involved. 

It’s despicable, and I don’t want to be a part of it. Where there are ex issues involved, I am not there. 

7. Fingir amor para ter sexo 

When I look back, it seems like almost every other guy I ever dated had the same agenda—how to get into my pants. 

Fingir que estão genuinamente interessados, que querem mais do que uma relação casual, até dizer “I love you” são todos meios para atingir um fim. Contar mentiras é-lhes natural. 

Evoking someone’s feelings without having any intention to love them is the lowest of the lows.

Acho que teria mais respeito por um homem que diz honestamente que só quer curtir do que por esses mentirosos que brincam com as minhas emoções. 

8. Ser reservado sobre uma relação 

I don’t want other people to know about us; I am still not ready for that. Others knowing would mess everything up, and similar phrases are things I don’t want to hear.

If I am with someone, I want the world to know. It doesn’t have to be after a few dates, but once we establish we are in a relationship, it has to be a public one, not a secret one. 

Somos adultos e devemos comportar-nos como tal. Se um homem tem todos os benefícios de namorado quando estamos sozinhos, também pode agir como meu namorado quando estamos em público.  

9. Jogar jogos de mensagens de texto 

Who texted who first shouldn’t be an issue. Both sides involved should make equal efforts in texting. 

What shouldn’t happen is one person initiating conversations always or most times. It shows disinterest and laziness.

Iniciar conversas durante o namoro significa que as duas pessoas envolvidas devem encontrar-se a meio caminho. Nada deve ser unilateral. 

I mean if we can’t even text like normal human beings, what more is there to talk about? 

10. Ligado de novo desligado de novo

My heart doesn’t come with a switch attached to it. I can’t turn my emotions on and off and on demand.

I can’t give someone second, third, fourth…chances to break my heart all over again.

I can’t put my life on hold while someone decides whether or not I am worthy of their time. 

That’s no way to live. That’s no way to love. 

Se estamos juntos, então estamos juntos. Se acabarmos uma vez, não há volta a dar.

11. Fechar as minhas opções enquanto ele mantém as dele em aberto

Once I am into someone, I am into them and no one else. On the other hand, guys I’ve dated don’t share my opinion. 

Namoravam comigo, alimentavam as minhas esperanças e deixavam-me de lado porque conheciam outra pessoa ou andavam com outra pessoa enquanto andavam comigo. 

I will try to change that and keep my options open until I hear that ‘we are exclusive’ come out of his mouth. 

12. Promessas de mudança 

Oh the promises… I am sick and tired of hearing them when I know they are leading nowhere.

“I will change; I swear, just stay.” ,  “I will try harder.”, “I will invest more in us.” ,  “Things will get better. I promise.” , “Just till I sort this thing out then I will have more time for us.” etc. 

Ficar com alguém que está sempre a fazer promessas e nunca as cumpre é uma perda de tempo. Ele esforçar-se-ia durante alguns dias e depois voltaria aos seus velhos hábitos. 

My heart would trust and hope, but my gut would always whisper, “He won’t change baby girl.” My gut was always wiser, and I am going to listen to it more attentively.