Prefiero ser soltero para siempre que jugar a estos 12 juegos de citas

Basta ya de juegos de citas. Estoy agotada. 

I don’t like playing them, and I hate feeling like a toy a man can easily toss. 

All the tactics, head games, chasing, who texted who first, who is clingy, who is cool… are not allowing me to enjoy dating. 

I want something normal—a relationship in which a man and a woman meet each other halfway. Without all the drama, chasing and hoping in vain. 

Lo juro, preferiría quedarme soltero para siempre than play along with someone’s dating game. 

Estas son las cosas que me niego a hacer: 

1. Fingir que no me interesa 

It’s a thin line between interested and clingy. That’s why we all try to play it cool. We are so careful not to reveal too much that we seem stone cold.

I am tired of it. What’s the point in non-texting back ASAP when you want to or saying you can’t go out with them tonight when every atom of your being says you do. 

Pretending like you couldn’t care less for the person is just as much a turnoff as clinginess. That’s why, if you ask me, the best thing is to find the middle ground and stay true to your feelings. 

2. Provocar celos

I’ve been in situations where the person I am into would check out other women in front of me or flirt with them just to see my reaction. 

It’s a low blow, and I don’t want anybody to feel as miserable as I did in those moments. 

Así que, si la única manera de conseguir al chico es poniéndolo celoso, entonces no es el indicado para mí.  

3. Retrasar una respuesta

I think most of us have tried this technique. We’ve been told time and time again that replying within a few seconds of getting a text will make us seem desperate. 

Así que esperamos una hora o más y respondemos con la esperanza de que eso haga que un hombre nos persiga. 

Puede que haya algo de verdad en eso, e incluso puede que funcione en ocasiones. Aun así, prefiero no hacerlo porque sé lo mal que me sentí cuando me hicieron lo mismo. 

Miraba el móvil cada pocos minutos. Mirar una pantalla vacía era tan decepcionante que me ponía triste. 

I get that not every text can be answered right away, but they can’t all be replied to too late, now can they?  It’s playing head games, and I won’t be a part of it. 

4. Dar falsas esperanzas

I’ve never done this to anyone, but I’ve been colgado a lo largo de en el pasado. Vivir a la espera de algo que podría ser, con la esperanza de que vengan días mejores, es una pérdida de tiempo.

From now on, either we are in an exclusive relationship or we are nothing. Everything besides that is a kind of torture I don’t need in my life. I’ve been through a lot as it is.  

Being somebody’s almost when they are your everything is the worst, and I won’t play along. I won’t be anybody’s toy. 

5. Actuar como si nos gustaran las mismas cosas 

Pretending I like football or hockey when I don’t know the first thing about it is not for me. It’s for the girls in high school who desperately want their crush to like them. 

I’m too old for that shit, to put it bluntly. Me and my potential significant others don’t have to have everything in common.

Tener algunos intereses similares es más que suficiente para mantener conversaciones significativas y estrechar lazos.

If we don’t even have a few, it’s better to know right from the start than act like I am somebody I am not. I would be exhausted from it in no time. 

6. Ser utilizado como medio para dar celos a su ex

It’s an awful thing falling in love for someone who is using you to get back at their ex. That situation is hurtful for everybody involved. 

It’s despicable, and I don’t want to be a part of it. Where there are ex issues involved, I am not there. 

7. Fingir amor para tener sexo 

When I look back, it seems like almost every other guy I ever dated had the same agenda—how to get into my pants. 

Fingir que están realmente interesados, que quieren algo más que una relación casual, incluso decir “I love you” son todos medios para un fin. Decir mentiras es algo natural para ellos. 

Evoking someone’s feelings without having any intention to love them is the lowest of the lows.

Creo que respetaría más a un hombre que dice sinceramente que sólo quiere ligar que a esos mentirosos que juegan con mis emociones. 

8. Ser reservado sobre una relación 

I don’t want other people to know about us; I am still not ready for that. Others knowing would mess everything up, and similar phrases are things I don’t want to hear.

If I am with someone, I want the world to know. It doesn’t have to be after a few dates, but once we establish we are in a relationship, it has to be a public one, not a secret one. 

Somos adultos y debemos comportarnos como tales. Si un hombre tiene todas las ventajas de un novio cuando estamos solos, también puede comportarse como mi novio cuando estamos en público.  

9. 9. Jugar a mensajes de texto 

Who texted who first shouldn’t be an issue. Both sides involved should make equal efforts in texting. 

What shouldn’t happen is one person initiating conversations always or most times. It shows disinterest and laziness.

Iniciar una conversación en una cita significa que las dos personas implicadas deben encontrarse a medio camino. Nada debe ser unilateral. 

I mean if we can’t even text like normal human beings, what more is there to talk about? 

10. On again off again

My heart doesn’t come with a switch attached to it. I can’t turn my emotions on and off and on demand.

I can’t give someone second, third, fourth…chances to break my heart all over again.

I can’t put my life on hold while someone decides whether or not I am worthy of their time. 

That’s no way to live. That’s no way to love. 

Si estamos juntos, estamos juntos. Si rompemos una vez, no hay vuelta atrás.

11. Cerrar mis opciones mientras él mantiene las suyas abiertas

Once I am into someone, I am into them and no one else. On the other hand, guys I’ve dated don’t share my opinion. 

Salían conmigo, me hacían ilusiones y me dejaban de lado porque habían conocido a alguien nuevo o estaban saliendo con otra persona mientras salían conmigo. 

I will try to change that and keep my options open until I hear that ‘we are exclusive’ come out of his mouth. 

12. Promesas de cambio 

Oh the promises… I am sick and tired of hearing them when I know they are leading nowhere.

“I will change; I swear, just stay.” ,  “I will try harder.”, “I will invest more in us.” ,  “Things will get better. I promise.” , “Just till I sort this thing out then I will have more time for us.” etc. 

Quedarse con alguien que hace promesas constantemente y nunca las cumple es una pérdida de tiempo. Haría un esfuerzo durante unos días y luego volvería a las andadas. 

My heart would trust and hope, but my gut would always whisper, “He won’t change baby girl.” My gut was always wiser, and I am going to listen to it more attentively.