É por isso que as mulheres magoadas têm dificuldade em se relacionar com alguém depois de sofrerem abusos

Se és uma mulher que sofreu qualquer tipo de abuso, quero aplaudir-te pela tua coragem e por nunca desistires.

Encarou o medo de frente, ultrapassou a dor e continuou a fazê-lo todos os dias da sua vida.

When it happens once, it’s never really over. You need to reinvent yourself.

Descobre quem és de novo e vive esse processo apenas com uma fé cega e dando à vida mais uma oportunidade.

You’re a silent heroine. And your superpower is that you’re unbreakable.

After everything you’ve been through, you’re standing strong, examining your pain and vulnerability, and turning them into strength and wisdom.

Quero recordar-lhe que deve sempre dar tempo a si próprio e colocar-se como uma prioridade.

With that in mind, here are some things explaining why it is so hard to make connections – let alone romantic connections – after abuse, that you might relate to.

You’re not sure who you are anymore

Após o abuso, a vítima fica despojada do seu sentido de identidade.

After manipulation, gaslighting, blackmailing, and conditioning, you’re left with always second-guessing your thoughts and decisions.

You’re not sure which part of you is real anymore.

O seu agressor queria que se sentisse perdida, assustada e sozinha para a poder controlar.

And now you’re left in that mess, not knowing how to start improving your self-confidence.

You’re left thinking you’re crazy. Everything you’d said was always “overreacting” or “irrational.”

E depois revelou-se verdade, mas sempre depois de já acreditarmos que estávamos a exagerar e a ser irracionais.

Dear women, you’re allowed to take life in your own hands and write your own story.

Podes voltar a ser o que eras antes ou o que sempre quiseste ser.

The great strength lies in every one of you. If that wasn’t true, you wouldn’t be reading this!

Precisa de tempo para recuperar a confiança

Every lie is poison and there have been so many lies told to you. And some of them you’ve even continued to say to yourself.

After breaking an abuser’s power over you, you might have realized you spent so much time (months, years, half of your life!) believing something that was never real.

E isso afectou muito a sua capacidade de confiar, a sua saúde mental e o seu estado geral.

You need time to start trusting people again and that’s perfectly normal.

You shouldn’t force anything or pursue something you’re not comfortable with. You can heal, you just need time.

You’re scared of being hurt again

Após o abuso, é necessário redefinir os limites.

With re-drawing boundaries – placing your own limits – you start seeing which people you want in your life and which people you’re better off without.

Aqueles que ultrapassam os limites não são necessários na sua vida.

O que precisa é de limites saudáveis, estabelecidos através de uma comunicação significativa que demonstre compaixão e compreensão.

Qualquer coisa menos do que isso está a causar-lhe medo de ser magoado novamente.

Precisa de tempo sozinho

If you can’t connect, maybe it’s not time to connect. Maybe you need to connect with yourself again.

Talvez precise de reconhecer as suas próprias necessidades e assumi-las como sua responsabilidade.

Isso significa que pode estar sozinho, mas não solitário. Por vezes, tudo o que precisa é de ser o seu melhor amigo.

Deixe-se ser o que precisa de ser nesse momento.

You can be angry, sad, overwhelmed. Let yourself feel everything and then forgive yourself for all the times you’ve been hard on yourself.

Release any shame, guilt, or thinking that everything that happened was somehow your fault. It wasn’t.

You don’t feel understood

Nem toda a gente passou pelo que tu passaste. Algumas pessoas, felizmente, não fazem a mínima ideia.

E isso, por vezes, faz-nos sentir que ninguém nos compreende.

Not many people are vocal about their abuse and it’s not the first thing they will talk about.

It could be the same case with you. It’s not unusual to feel like you don’t belong.

Building new friendships and relationships means investing a lot of time, strength, will, and emotions. And it’s hard if you’re a survivor.

A sua relação com o seu agressor é complicada

As pessoas tendem a pensar que os agressores são pessoas que as vítimas podem eliminar de uma vez por todas.

But what if he’s the father of your child, your work college, your family member, or just a person you used to care about a lot?

Feelings are not an on-and-off thing. We can’t just stop loving someone in a day, even if it’s an abuser.

It is possible to love someone and realize that they aren’t a safe person to be around.

But it’s also possible to learn through painful experiences and love again.

Lembra-te apenas que mereces estar sempre em segurança, ser respeitado e amado.