As mulheres têm medo de competir

Women are terrified to compete with each other, according to a recent study. For real, and in an unhealthy way. When women are pitted against each other in the workplace, they freeze. They’re unsure how to respond, and experience heightened levels of stress and anxiety which leads to a sloppy, incomplete and haphazard output. The same response is not evident when women are pitted against men or when men are up against other men.

Ok, porque é que isto acontece? Porque é que as mulheres têm medo de competir? Ou, a verdadeira questão aqui é como é que as mulheres competem?

As mulheres lidam com as situações de forma diferente dos homens. Podem deparar-se com as mesmas circunstâncias e reagir de uma forma completamente diferente das pessoas do sexo oposto. Por vezes, as suas reacções são muito mais complicadas.

Men have no fear. They will go aggressively and territorially after each other, no-holds barred. Women who are vying for the same professional positions or social seats compete in a more underhanded way—through manipulative and passive-aggressive tactics. They want to appear friendly while knocking each other out… figuratively.

Since women are also more emotionally in-tune with themselves, it’s important to be able to trust one’s instincts. This means, if you believe that ‘friend’ of yours is out to get something you have, you’re probably right. A intuição deve prevalecer outward perceptions of any particular situation you’re contemplating.

Many times, we talk about ‘going with our gut’ or ‘trusting our instincts’. This is important. It’s our internal self’s way of screaming, ‘Something’s not right here!’ If someone’s body language doesn’t match what’s coming out of their mouth, observar os seus movimentos e não os seus lábios.

As mulheres são mais susceptíveis do que os homens de fazer amizade com os seus inimigos. E farão de tudo para garantir que são confidentes de confiança antes de exporem os seus verdadeiros motivos.

The moral of the story is this—if you have something you’re eager to keep to yourself, make sure you don’t let your guard down too easily. It’s best to wade in the waters for a bit while this alliance is still new to ensure you stay protected.

Of course, we can’t live in fear of having our deepest secrets revealed or being unable to confide in someone else. As mulheres são criaturas sociais. It’s important to develop lasting, trusted friendships with those of the same sex, and be able to rest, knowing your secrets are safe.

It’s simply important to listen to your own inner voice first. And, realize when you may be on to something before it’s too late. Everyone gives off energy—positive or negative. Some are harder to read than others, but this just means we have to listen more closely, be more open.

Most women would prefer to work in environments with men rather than with other females. Why? Because the stress of having to compete in a complex way is eliminated. Not only that, but if a woman is surrounded by colleagues of the opposite sex, she suddenly becomes the center of attention. Everything she says or does is great, and if not, it’s okay. She’s allowed to make mistakes without permanently wearing a sign on her forehead.

The pressure is off when you’re let off the hook. But, the silent competition that exists in a room full of women is exhausting and distracting. Even in situations in which the focus needs to be entirely on the task at hand, the whole room fills with catty chit-chat and sly tactics to plow each other over on the way to the top.

The real question is—what’s the big deal, anyway? Why do women do this to each other?

Se todos fossem tão genuínos e amáveis como a imagem que tentam projetar para os outros, o mundo seria um lugar melhor. As mulheres deixariam de se sentir pressionadas a competir ou a ser melhores do que a pessoa que está sentada ao seu lado.

Reflicta um pouco sobre a realidade desta afirmação. Soa-lhe a verdade? Está a competir silenciosamente com todos os outros? Ou tem a auto-confiança para se manter de pé e lutar por aquilo em que acredita, independentemente das consequências?

You see, the funny thing is—women fazer compete. We’re all trapped by our own insecurities and we’re all looking for that one person who isn’t to guide us out of this cage, so we can finally be comfortable in our own skin.

Porque é que continuamos a competir e a procurar essa segurança exterior quando deveríamos estar a olhar para dentro de nós? Chegue a um ponto em que possa confiar na sua própria intuição sobre si próprio, sobre os outros e sobre as circunstâncias que o rodeiam, porque confia em si próprio. E, nada mais importa.