Le donne hanno paura di competere

Women are terrified to compete with each other, according to a recent study. For real, and in an unhealthy way. When women are pitted against each other in the workplace, they freeze. They’re unsure how to respond, and experience heightened levels of stress and anxiety which leads to a sloppy, incomplete and haphazard output. The same response is not evident when women are pitted against men or when men are up against other men.

Ok, perché? Perché le donne hanno paura di competere? Oppure, la vera domanda è come competono le donne?

Le donne gestiscono le situazioni in modo diverso dagli uomini. Possono trovarsi di fronte alle stesse circostanze e reagire in modo completamente diverso da quelle del sesso opposto. A volte le loro reazioni sono molto più complicate.

Men have no fear. They will go aggressively and territorially after each other, no-holds barred. Women who are vying for the same professional positions or social seats compete in a more underhanded way—through manipulative and passive-aggressive tactics. They want to appear friendly while knocking each other out… figuratively.

Since women are also more emotionally in-tune with themselves, it’s important to be able to trust one’s instincts. This means, if you believe that ‘friend’ of yours is out to get something you have, you’re probably right. L'intuizione dovrebbe prevalere outward perceptions of any particular situation you’re contemplating.

Many times, we talk about ‘going with our gut’ or ‘trusting our instincts’. This is important. It’s our internal self’s way of screaming, ‘Something’s not right here!’ If someone’s body language doesn’t match what’s coming out of their mouth, guardare le loro mosse piuttosto che le loro labbra.

Le donne sono più propense degli uomini a fare amicizia con i loro nemici. E faranno di tutto per assicurarsi che siano confidenti fidati prima di rivelare le loro vere motivazioni.

The moral of the story is this—if you have something you’re eager to keep to yourself, make sure you don’t let your guard down too easily. It’s best to wade in the waters for a bit while this alliance is still new to ensure you stay protected.

Of course, we can’t live in fear of having our deepest secrets revealed or being unable to confide in someone else. Le donne sono creature sociali. It’s important to develop lasting, trusted friendships with those of the same sex, and be able to rest, knowing your secrets are safe.

It’s simply important to listen to your own inner voice first. And, realize when you may be on to something before it’s too late. Everyone gives off energy—positive or negative. Some are harder to read than others, but this just means we have to listen more closely, be more open.

Most women would prefer to work in environments with men rather than with other females. Why? Because the stress of having to compete in a complex way is eliminated. Not only that, but if a woman is surrounded by colleagues of the opposite sex, she suddenly becomes the center of attention. Everything she says or does is great, and if not, it’s okay. She’s allowed to make mistakes without permanently wearing a sign on her forehead.

The pressure is off when you’re let off the hook. But, the silent competition that exists in a room full of women is exhausting and distracting. Even in situations in which the focus needs to be entirely on the task at hand, the whole room fills with catty chit-chat and sly tactics to plow each other over on the way to the top.

The real question is—what’s the big deal, anyway? Why do women do this to each other?

Se tutti fossero genuini e gentili come l'immagine che cercano di proiettare agli altri, il mondo sarebbe un posto migliore. Le donne non si sentirebbero più obbligate a competere o a essere migliori della persona che siede accanto a loro.

Prendetevi un momento per riflettere sulla realtà di questo fatto. Vi sembra vero? Siete silenziosamente in competizione con tutti gli altri? Oppure, avete la fiducia in voi stessi per stare in piedi da soli e lottare per ciò in cui credete, indipendentemente dalle conseguenze?

You see, the funny thing is—women fare compete. We’re all trapped by our own insecurities and we’re all looking for that one person who isn’t to guide us out of this cage, so we can finally be comfortable in our own skin.

Perché continuiamo a competere e a cercare questa rassicurazione verso l'esterno quando dovremmo guardare dentro di noi? Arrivate a un punto in cui potete fidarvi della vostra intuizione su voi stessi, sugli altri e sulle circostanze che vi circondano, perché si ha fiducia in se stessi. E non conta nient'altro.