22 coisas a ter em conta quando algo não está bem

We’re all familiar with the nagging feeling that something doesn’t feel right. That’s your gut instinct trying to warn you of something.

Bad things happen all the time but when your inner voice keeps telling you that your current situation leaves a lot to be desired, it’s time for some big decisions.

Whether it’s regarding your relação romântica ou a vida em geral, ouvindo atentamente o seu intuição é sempre uma atitude sensata.

That little voice inside your head knows what it’s talking about. While pinpointing your issues and taking follow-up action is a lot of work, it beats waiting for an impending meltdown.

Let’s carefully examine what’s causing you this uneasiness in order to help you find the best solution for yourself.

If Something Doesn’t Feel Right In Your Relationship, Never Ignore These 10 Grandes sinais de alerta 

O seu parceiro começou a afastar-se de si

Até ao ano passado, mantinha uma relação tão saudável que os seus amigos iam sempre pedir-lhe conselhos. Mas isso mudou.

Now, your partner has started to distance themselves from you. There’s a palpable physical sensation of discord between you two. Something doesn’t feel right.

Quer viva numa pequena zona rural ou numa grande cidade, toda a gente se apercebeu e a sua autoestima está em baixo. 

You keep wondering if it’s something you did or if you simply found a pessoa errada and now, it’s all coming down on you.

Padrões de comunicação pouco saudáveis e ineficazes

Uma comunicação saudável é vital para uma relação saudável. Nesta altura, toda a gente deve saber isto. E costumava ser assim para vocês os dois.

No entanto, agora, o seu parceiro é impetuoso e curto consigo. Não conseguem encontrar um meio-termo em nenhuma questão. Estão sempre a explodir um com o outro, pois tudo parece um ataque.

Não se lembra da última vez que comunicaram como adultos. O(a) seu(sua) namorado(a) passa mais tempo nas redes sociais a conversar com amigos do que consigo, a tentar resolver as coisas.

Should you keep pushing to salvage things or have you reached the final stop? The answer is within you. It’s time to start listening.

Notable changes in your significant other’s behavior

They’ve changed and a lot. Nobody can tell you otherwise. Their habits are no longer characteristic of them. They even hang out with new people.

Mal reconhece essa pessoa e as suas acções. As coisas que costumavam fazer juntos caíram no esquecimento.

The way they took care of you is long gone. Now, they’re someone new and you can’t figure out how or when this happened.

Ver também: 15 mudanças no corpo e na mente depois do casamento que ninguém lhe conta

Comportamento de controlo excessivo

O seu parceiro começou a manifestar um comportamento controlador. É extremamente pegajoso e quer saber o seu paradeiro a todo o momento.

Não pode sair com os seus amigos sem ser bombardeado com um milhão de mensagens de texto ou chamadas. Onde é que estás? Quando voltas para casa? O (nome de um amigo) está contigo neste momento?

I could go on and on. It’s like they’re trying to take your freedom from you. Every decision you make you have to run by them.

When did they become this way? Why can’t they let you live your life the way you always have?

Discussões tóxicas frequentes

At this point, it feels like you’re fighting for the sake of fighting. There’s nothing you can do that your partner approves of.

If you’re being honest, something doesn’t feel right on your part either. You keep wanting to yell at them for no reason. 

It has gotten to the point where you have to stop yourself from reacting impulsively or else… 

Couples fight, you know that but this is different. It’s toxic, unhealthy and there is never any resolution in sight; just two people biting each other’s head off.

Uma súbita falta de empatia da vossa parte

Just like that, you stopped caring. You don’t know how and you don’t know why. It feels wrong and you’re ashamed but you can’t lie to yourself anymore. 

Your gut feeling has been telling you for a while now to break it off but you’re not sure anymore.

Have you become ice-cold? Is it actually you or has your partner brought this on themselves? It’s definitely something to ponder.

Comportamento emocional ou fisicamente abusivo

O abuso, independentemente da sua natureza, NUNCA é aceitável. Nem emocional, nem verbal e especialmente não abuso físico.

The moment your relationship starts being disruptive in an abusive manner, call it quits. You don’t need your gut instinct to tell you this.

Mereces cuidado, devoção e apreço. Se temes que não possas continuar a ser tu próprio, vai-te embora antes que comecem a acontecer coisas más.

A confiança já desapareceu há muito tempo

You used to trust your partner with your life but now, you’re not sure you’d let them watch your dog for an hour.

You simply sense that something doesn’t feel right and you can’t shake it off. It’s as if there is doom and gloom awaiting you if you stay with this person.

You cannot pinpoint exactly what it is but you’ve lost your confidence in them. There’s a clear wedge that has become insurmountable.

Ver também: É por isso que tens de confiar no timing da tua vida

Fazer planos sem o outro

And the worst thing is, you don’t even mind! You couldn’t care less if your partner makes plans and doesn’t invite you. 

Isto significa que pode receber a sua própria equipa e divertir-se sem eles. 

Your need for their company has vanished. While this does worry you, it’s not enough to do something about it.

Perhaps the relationship has come to its natural end and one of you simply needs to say it out loud. It’s okay if you’ve grown apart. That’s how life goes sometimes.

A dinâmica do vosso quarto está enfraquecida

You used to be a beast in the sack and your partner knew exactly how to stay in tune with your body. But now, you can’t force yourself if your life depended on it.

You used to be extremely adventurous as a couple and did it basically anywhere but that has since gone and you don’t even care.

When something doesn’t feel right, it’s best to address it ASAP. There’s no point in staying with someone who just doesn’t do it for you anymore.

7 sinais de alerta de que a sua vida está desequilibrada

A sua mente está inquieta e impede-o de estar presente

Faz um esforço para se encontrar com os amigos e pôr a conversa em dia, mas a sua mente torna difícil estar presente.

It’s like they are out there living their best life and trying to reconnect with you and you cannot bring yourself to actually listen and communicate with them.

A sua mente está constantemente a 200 mph, o que afecta seriamente as suas relações com as outras pessoas. 

A sua incapacidade de estar presente começou a criar um fosso entre si e os seus amigos. Quer realmente mudar, mas há algo que o impede de o fazer.

You’ve been neglecting to take care of your mind, body and soul

Even though you’ve always attempted to find the time to stay active, hit the gym and be conscious of your health, you’re finding it harder and harder to do so.

There’s always something more important that you need to do and you keep postponing gym time. You promise yourself that you’ll make up for it the following week but you don’t.

You can’t understand how you’ve become this way. You do care about yourself, you want to be proactive, so what gives?

Tem hábitos de despesa invulgarmente excessivos

You’ve never been much of a spender but boy, has that changed. Your online shopping has started to become worrisome.

Your credit card balance is also a clear sign that you should hit the brakes but you can’t. 

You see something and you have to have it. Your sound mind has gone out the window and there’s a new girl (ou guy) in town and they’re trying to bankrupt you.

Ver também: Pessoa certa, hora errada: porque é que nos acontece sempre o mesmo?

You haven’t got in touch with anyone in your life for too long

Os seus amigos estão em suspenso. A sua vida social está em suspenso. Está sempre a tentar gerir o seu tempo e encontrar uma janela para voltar a falar com as pessoas, mas sem sucesso.

You can’t recall the last time you had a proper conversation with your friends. You’ve got dozens of texts and DMs waiting to be seen but they’re at the bottom of your list.

Here’s the deal. Your work should never trump your personal relationships. At the end of the day, your people are the only ones who’ll stick by you when things get rough. Não trabalho.

So, it’s time to reevaluate your time and how you spend it. Nurture those relationships and stop neglecting those who matter most.

You haven’t had a vacation in ages

You’re long overdue for a vacation. You know this but you can’t seem to do anything about it. Your life feels all sorts of messed up as you keep neglecting to take care of yourself.

You haven’t had a proper break for ages. You’ve been feeling the negative effects a lot lately. Your mind needs a break.

“The biggest wall you have to climb is the one you build in your mind: Never let your mind talk you out of your dreams, trick you into giving up. Never let your mind become the greatest obstacle to success. To get your mind on the right track, the rest will follow.” – Roy. T. Bennett

Your ‘go-go-go’ mode makes you think of everyone else as lazy

Está constantemente em movimento. Não consegue parar de trabalhar e de ser demasiado ambicioso, o que começou a afetar a sua vida. sua mente.

Quando socializa com os seus amigos e os ouve falar sobre sair, divertir-se e simplesmente descontrair, a sua mente classifica-os como preguiçosos.

Here’s the 411. It’s OK to nurture your ‘go-go-go’ mode as long as it doesn’t reflect on the quality of your life and most importantly, how you perceive your friends.

People are entitled to have fun and relax after a long, hard day. And the reason why something doesn’t feel right is that you keep denying yourself a much-needed break.

You’re not eating well

You’ve stopped keeping up with your body’s demands. Your diet has become extremely unhealthy and you merely throw stuff in your mouth during your five-minute breaks.

O seu trabalho (ou o que quer que esteja a preocupar a sua mente) ocupou tanto do seu tempo que os seus hábitos alimentares se tornaram preocupantes.

You used to pay great attention to what you put in your body but now, you’re feeling anxious, uneasy and constantly on-the-go that you simply don’t have time anymore.

It’s time to start prioritizing yourself and your health. Your energy levels will decrease if you keep acting in this self-destructive manner.

If something feels off in your life, address it. Don’t take it out on your health.

5 perguntas para fazer a si mesmo quando nada parece certo

O que é que VERDADEIRAMENTE o incomoda?

Todos nós passamos por grandes episódios de stress num momento ou noutro, mas para chegar ao fundo dos seus problemas, é necessário compreender as causas subjacentes.

Qual é a única coisa que o tem atormentado nas últimas semanas ou meses? Foi o seu parceiro tóxico que já não o faz sentir feliz? 

É o ambiente do escritório e a forma como os seus colegas de trabalho o tratam? Os seus filhos (se os tiver) dão-lhe por vezes vontade de desaparecer?

Figure this one out and you’ll be closer to your answer.

Como é que essa coisa o faz sentir e como é que a pode afetar?

I know that this sounds like such a cliché but it’s the natural next step in helping you cope during stressful times.

Como é que esta coisa o faz sentir? Tem-lhe dado demasiado espaço na sua cabeça? Consegue influenciar a forma como a deixa afectá-lo?

It’s all about understanding the external factors so that you can influence how they affect you internally. You’d be flabbergasted at how easy it is to simply turn this little voice off.

As coisas quase nunca são tão graves como se pensa e, em última análise, VOCÊ escolhe como se sente no final de tudo. Experimente e veja as mudanças.

Quais são as melhores formas de lidar com esta situação?

Quando se encontrar numa encruzilhada e não tiver a certeza da escolha a fazer, pergunte a si próprio que solução aumentaria a qualidade da sua vida.

Como é que cada escolha o afectaria a longo prazo? Isto é algo que só tu sabes e vais fazer uma boa escolha.

Just don’t let yourself react impulsively. Always consider the bottom line and go in whichever direction leads you toward it.

Ver também: Desafio de 30 dias para o amor-próprio: torne-se a melhor versão de si mesmo

Quais são as vantagens e desvantagens da sua posição?

Listing the pros and cons has always been my favorite thing whenever I’m facing a dilemma. It’s all organized neatly and making the decision is so much easier.

Os prós superam os contras? É possível alterá-lo de alguma forma? Tem querer para o mudar?

Once you’ve gone through the list and fully understand the position you find yourself in, then you can make changes. Why? Because you’ve educated yourself enough to do so.

Nunca tome grandes decisões durante acessos de raiva. Relaxe, espere, faça a sua lista e considere racionalmente as suas opções. 

Está a perseguir o impossível?

When something doesn’t feel right, we immediately feel like giant changes are needed. But are they really?

Listen, sometimes you’re just doing the best with what you’ve got. Sure, there are always ways in which you can improve, as listed above but sometimes, we tend to chase the impossible.

You’re probably wondering what the hell I’m talking about. It’s simple. Perfection isn’t real. Nobody has it all figured out and nobody’s exempt from feeling overstretched at times.

But that doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong. It just means that your current situation isn’t ideal. But this too shall pass.

If you’ve reflected on a sua vida and realized that there isn’t much you’d do differently, then just don’t! Your distress will pass and things will start normalizing again.

When you find yourself chasing after something elusive, hit the brakes. You’re not superhuman, so stop putting unrealistic expectations on yourself.

And remember…

“Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.” – Albert Schweitzer