We’re all familiar with the nagging feeling that something doesn’t feel right. That’s your gut instinct trying to warn you of something.
Bad things happen all the time but when your inner voice keeps telling you that your current situation leaves a lot to be desired, it’s time for some big decisions.
Whether it’s regarding your romantic relationship or life in general, listening closely to your gut feeling is always a wise move.
That little voice inside your head knows what it’s talking about. While pinpointing your issues and taking follow-up action is a lot of work, it beats waiting for an impending meltdown.
Let’s carefully examine what’s causing you this uneasiness in order to help you find the best solution for yourself.
If Something Doesn’t Feel Right In Your Relationship, Never Ignore These 10 Huge Red Flags
Your partner has started to withdraw from you
Up until last year, you were in such a healthy relationship that your friends kept going to you for advice. But that has changed.
Now, your partner has started to distance themselves from you. There’s a palpable physical sensation of discord between you two. Something doesn’t feel right.
Whether you live in a small rural area or a big town, everyone has caught on and your self-esteem is at an all-time low.
You keep wondering if it’s something you did or if you simply found the wrong person and now, it’s all coming down on you.
Patterns of unhealthy and inefficient communication
Healthy communication is vital for a healthy relationship. At this point, everyone must know this. And it used to be like this for you two.
However, now, your partner is brash and short with you. You cannot find a middle ground on any issue. You keep blowing up at each other, as everything feels like an attack.
You cannot remember the last time you communicated like adults. Your S/O spends more time on social media chatting to friends than with you, trying to work things out.
Should you keep pushing to salvage things or have you reached the final stop? The answer is within you. It’s time to start listening.
Notable changes in your significant other’s behavior
They’ve changed and a lot. Nobody can tell you otherwise. Their habits are no longer characteristic of them. They even hang out with new people.
You barely recognize this person and their actions. The things you used to do together have withered into oblivion.
The way they took care of you is long gone. Now, they’re someone new and you can’t figure out how or when this happened.
Overly controlling behavior
Your partner has started to manifest controlling behavior. They are extremely clingy and want to know your whereabouts at all times.
You cannot go out with your friends without being barraged with a million texts or calls. Where are you? When are you coming home? Is (name of a friend) with you right now?
I could go on and on. It’s like they’re trying to take your freedom from you. Every decision you make you have to run by them.
When did they become this way? Why can’t they let you live your life the way you always have?
Frequent toxic arguments
At this point, it feels like you’re fighting for the sake of fighting. There’s nothing you can do that your partner approves of.
If you’re being honest, something doesn’t feel right on your part either. You keep wanting to yell at them for no reason.
It has gotten to the point where you have to stop yourself from reacting impulsively or else…
Couples fight, you know that but this is different. It’s toxic, unhealthy and there is never any resolution in sight; just two people biting each other’s head off.
A sudden lack of empathy on your part
Just like that, you stopped caring. You don’t know how and you don’t know why. It feels wrong and you’re ashamed but you can’t lie to yourself anymore.
Your gut feeling has been telling you for a while now to break it off but you’re not sure anymore.
Have you become ice-cold? Is it actually you or has your partner brought this on themselves? It’s definitely something to ponder.
Emotionally or physically abusive behavior
Abuse, no matter its nature, is NEVER acceptable. Not emotional, not verbal and especially not physical abuse.
The moment your relationship starts being disruptive in an abusive manner, call it quits. You don’t need your gut instinct to tell you this.
You deserve care, devotion and appreciation. If you fear that you cannot be yourself any longer, leave before bad things start happening.
The trust is long gone
You used to trust your partner with your life but now, you’re not sure you’d let them watch your dog for an hour.
You simply sense that something doesn’t feel right and you can’t shake it off. It’s as if there is doom and gloom awaiting you if you stay with this person.
You cannot pinpoint exactly what it is but you’ve lost your confidence in them. There’s a clear wedge that has become insurmountable.
Making plans without one another
And the worst thing is, you don’t even mind! You couldn’t care less if your partner makes plans and doesn’t invite you.
This means you get to have your own crew over and enjoy yourself without them.
Your need for their company has vanished. While this does worry you, it’s not enough to do something about it.
Perhaps the relationship has come to its natural end and one of you simply needs to say it out loud. It’s okay if you’ve grown apart. That’s how life goes sometimes.
Your bedroom dynamic has withered
You used to be a beast in the sack and your partner knew exactly how to stay in tune with your body. But now, you can’t force yourself if your life depended on it.
You used to be extremely adventurous as a couple and did it basically anywhere but that has since gone and you don’t even care.
When something doesn’t feel right, it’s best to address it ASAP. There’s no point in staying with someone who just doesn’t do it for you anymore.
7 Warning Signs That Your Life Is Unbalanced
Your mind is restless and it prevents you from being present
You make an effort to meet up with friends and catch up but your mind makes it hard to be present.
It’s like they are out there living their best life and trying to reconnect with you and you cannot bring yourself to actually listen and communicate with them.
Your mind is constantly going 200 mph, which seriously affects your relationships with other people.
Your inability to stay present has started to drive a wedge between you and your friends. You really want to change but something keeps pulling you back.
You’ve been neglecting to take care of your mind, body and soul
Even though you’ve always attempted to find the time to stay active, hit the gym and be conscious of your health, you’re finding it harder and harder to do so.
There’s always something more important that you need to do and you keep postponing gym time. You promise yourself that you’ll make up for it the following week but you don’t.
You can’t understand how you’ve become this way. You do care about yourself, you want to be proactive, so what gives?
You have uncharacteristically overzealous spending habits
You’ve never been much of a spender but boy, has that changed. Your online shopping has started to become worrisome.
Your credit card balance is also a clear sign that you should hit the brakes but you can’t.
You see something and you have to have it. Your sound mind has gone out the window and there’s a new girl (or guy) in town and they’re trying to bankrupt you.
You haven’t got in touch with anyone in your life for too long
Your friends are on hold. Your social life is on hold. You keep trying to manage your time and find a window to get back to people but to no avail.
You can’t recall the last time you had a proper conversation with your friends. You’ve got dozens of texts and DMs waiting to be seen but they’re at the bottom of your list.
Here’s the deal. Your work should never trump your personal relationships. At the end of the day, your people are the only ones who’ll stick by you when things get rough. Not work.
So, it’s time to reevaluate your time and how you spend it. Nurture those relationships and stop neglecting those who matter most.
You haven’t had a vacation in ages
You’re long overdue for a vacation. You know this but you can’t seem to do anything about it. Your life feels all sorts of messed up as you keep neglecting to take care of yourself.
You haven’t had a proper break for ages. You’ve been feeling the negative effects a lot lately. Your mind needs a break.
“The biggest wall you have to climb is the one you build in your mind: Never let your mind talk you out of your dreams, trick you into giving up. Never let your mind become the greatest obstacle to success. To get your mind on the right track, the rest will follow.” – Roy. T. Bennett
Your ‘go-go-go’ mode makes you think of everyone else as lazy
You are constantly on the go. You cannot stop working and being overly ambitious that it has started to mess with your mind.
When you socialize with your friends and hear them converse about going out, having fun and simply unwinding, your mind categorizes them as lazy.
Here’s the 411. It’s OK to nurture your ‘go-go-go’ mode as long as it doesn’t reflect on the quality of your life and most importantly, how you perceive your friends.
People are entitled to have fun and relax after a long, hard day. And the reason why something doesn’t feel right is that you keep denying yourself a much-needed break.
You’re not eating well
You’ve stopped keeping up with your body’s demands. Your diet has become extremely unhealthy and you merely throw stuff in your mouth during your five-minute breaks.
Your work (or whatever is preoccupying your mind) has taken up so much of your time that your eating habits have become worrisome.
You used to pay great attention to what you put in your body but now, you’re feeling anxious, uneasy and constantly on-the-go that you simply don’t have time anymore.
It’s time to start prioritizing yourself and your health. Your energy levels will decrease if you keep acting in this self-destructive manner.
If something feels off in your life, address it. Don’t take it out on your health.
5 Questions To Ask Yourself When Nothing Feels Right
What is TRULY bothering you?
We all experience substantial bouts of stress at one point or another but in order to get to the bottom of your issues, you need to understand the underlying causes.
What is the one thing that has been gnawing at you for the past few weeks or months? Has it been your toxic partner who no longer makes you feel happy?
Is it the office atmosphere and the way your co-workers have been toward you? Do your children (if you have any) make you want to disappear at times?
Figure this one out and you’ll be closer to your answer.
How does that thing make you feel and can you affect it?
I know that this sounds like such a cliché but it’s the natural next step in helping you cope during stressful times.
How does this thing make you feel? Have you been allowing it too much space in your head? Can you affect how you let it get to you?
It’s all about understanding the external factors so that you can influence how they affect you internally. You’d be flabbergasted at how easy it is to simply turn this little voice off.
Things are almost never as severe as you think they are and ultimately, YOU choose how you feel at the end of it all. Try it and see the changes.
What are the best ways to handle this situation?
When you find yourself at a crossroads and unsure of which choice to make, ask yourself what solution would increase the quality of your life.
How would each choice affect you in the long run? This is something only you are privy to and you are going to make a good choice.
Just don’t let yourself react impulsively. Always consider the bottom line and go in whichever direction leads you toward it.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of your position?
Listing the pros and cons has always been my favorite thing whenever I’m facing a dilemma. It’s all organized neatly and making the decision is so much easier.
Do the pros outweigh the cons? Can you change it in any way? Do you want to change it?
Once you’ve gone through the list and fully understand the position you find yourself in, then you can make changes. Why? Because you’ve educated yourself enough to do so.
Never make big decisions during fits of anger. Relax, wait it out, make your list and rationally consider your options.
Are you chasing the impossible?
When something doesn’t feel right, we immediately feel like giant changes are needed. But are they really?
Listen, sometimes you’re just doing the best with what you’ve got. Sure, there are always ways in which you can improve, as listed above but sometimes, we tend to chase the impossible.
You’re probably wondering what the hell I’m talking about. It’s simple. Perfection isn’t real. Nobody has it all figured out and nobody’s exempt from feeling overstretched at times.
But that doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong. It just means that your current situation isn’t ideal. But this too shall pass.
If you’ve reflected on your life and realized that there isn’t much you’d do differently, then just don’t! Your distress will pass and things will start normalizing again.
When you find yourself chasing after something elusive, hit the brakes. You’re not superhuman, so stop putting unrealistic expectations on yourself.
“Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.” – Albert Schweitzer