22 cosas que hay que tener en cuenta cuando algo no va bien

We’re all familiar with the nagging feeling that something doesn’t feel right. That’s your gut instinct trying to warn you of something.

Bad things happen all the time but when your inner voice keeps telling you that your current situation leaves a lot to be desired, it’s time for some big decisions.

Whether it’s regarding your relación romántica o la vida en general, escuchando atentamente su intuición es siempre un acierto.

That little voice inside your head knows what it’s talking about. While pinpointing your issues and taking follow-up action is a lot of work, it beats waiting for an impending meltdown.

Let’s carefully examine what’s causing you this uneasiness in order to help you find the best solution for yourself.

If Something Doesn’t Feel Right In Your Relationship, Never Ignore These 10 Enormes señales de alarma 

Su pareja ha empezado a alejarse de usted

Hasta el año pasado, tenías una relación tan sana que tus amigos no paraban de pedirte consejo. Pero eso ha cambiado.

Now, your partner has started to distance themselves from you. There’s a palpable physical sensation of discord between you two. Something doesn’t feel right.

Tanto si vives en una pequeña zona rural como en una gran ciudad, todo el mundo se ha dado cuenta y tu autoestima está por los suelos. 

You keep wondering if it’s something you did or if you simply found la persona equivocada and now, it’s all coming down on you.

Patrones de comunicación poco saludables e ineficaces

Una comunicación sana es vital para una relación sana. A estas alturas, todo el mundo debe saberlo. Y solía ser así para ustedes dos.

Sin embargo, ahora tu pareja es brusca y cortante contigo. No encontráis un término medio en ningún tema. No paráis de explotar el uno contra el otro, y todo os parece un ataque.

No recuerdas la última vez que os comunicasteis como adultos. Tu pareja pasa más tiempo en las redes sociales chateando con amigos que contigo, intentando arreglar las cosas.

Should you keep pushing to salvage things or have you reached the final stop? The answer is within you. It’s time to start listening.

Notable changes in your significant other’s behavior

They’ve changed and a lot. Nobody can tell you otherwise. Their habits are no longer characteristic of them. They even hang out with new people.

Apenas reconoces a esa persona y sus acciones. Las cosas que solíais hacer juntos se han marchitado en el olvido.

The way they took care of you is long gone. Now, they’re someone new and you can’t figure out how or when this happened.

Véase también: 15 cambios corporales y mentales después del matrimonio que nadie te cuenta

Comportamiento excesivamente controlador

Su pareja ha empezado a manifestar un comportamiento controlador. Es muy pegajoso y quiere saber dónde estás en todo momento.

No puedes salir con tus amigos sin que te acribillen con un millón de mensajes o llamadas. ¿Dónde estás? ¿Cuándo vuelves a casa? ¿Está (nombre de un amigo) contigo en este momento?

I could go on and on. It’s like they’re trying to take your freedom from you. Every decision you make you have to run by them.

When did they become this way? Why can’t they let you live your life the way you always have?

Discusiones tóxicas frecuentes

At this point, it feels like you’re fighting for the sake of fighting. There’s nothing you can do that your partner approves of.

If you’re being honest, something doesn’t feel right on your part either. You keep wanting to yell at them for no reason. 

It has gotten to the point where you have to stop yourself from reacting impulsively or else… 

Couples fight, you know that but this is different. It’s toxic, unhealthy and there is never any resolution in sight; just two people biting each other’s head off.

Una repentina falta de empatía por tu parte

Just like that, you stopped caring. You don’t know how and you don’t know why. It feels wrong and you’re ashamed but you can’t lie to yourself anymore. 

Your gut feeling has been telling you for a while now to break it off but you’re not sure anymore.

Have you become ice-cold? Is it actually you or has your partner brought this on themselves? It’s definitely something to ponder.

Comportamiento emocional o físicamente abusivo

El maltrato, sea cual sea su naturaleza, NUNCA es aceptable. Ni emocional, ni verbal y especialmente no maltrato físico.

The moment your relationship starts being disruptive in an abusive manner, call it quits. You don’t need your gut instinct to tell you this.

Te mereces cariño, devoción y aprecio. Si temes no poder seguir siendo tú mismo, márchate antes de que empiecen a ocurrir cosas malas.

La confianza hace tiempo que desapareció

You used to trust your partner with your life but now, you’re not sure you’d let them watch your dog for an hour.

You simply sense that something doesn’t feel right and you can’t shake it off. It’s as if there is doom and gloom awaiting you if you stay with this person.

You cannot pinpoint exactly what it is but you’ve lost your confidence in them. There’s a clear wedge that has become insurmountable.

Véase también: Por eso debes confiar en el calendario de tu vida

Hacer planes sin los demás

And the worst thing is, you don’t even mind! You couldn’t care less if your partner makes plans and doesn’t invite you. 

Esto significa que puedes invitar a tu propia tripulación y disfrutar sin ellos. 

Your need for their company has vanished. While this does worry you, it’s not enough to do something about it.

Perhaps the relationship has come to its natural end and one of you simply needs to say it out loud. It’s okay if you’ve grown apart. That’s how life goes sometimes.

La dinámica de tu dormitorio se ha marchitado

You used to be a beast in the sack and your partner knew exactly how to stay in tune with your body. But now, you can’t force yourself if your life depended on it.

You used to be extremely adventurous as a couple and did it basically anywhere but that has since gone and you don’t even care.

When something doesn’t feel right, it’s best to address it ASAP. There’s no point in staying with someone who just doesn’t do it for you anymore.

7 señales de advertencia de que tu vida está desequilibrada

Tu mente está inquieta y te impide estar presente

Haces un esfuerzo por quedar con los amigos y ponerte al día, pero tu mente te dificulta estar presente.

It’s like they are out there living their best life and trying to reconnect with you and you cannot bring yourself to actually listen and communicate with them.

Tu mente va constantemente a 300 km/h, lo que afecta gravemente a tus relaciones con los demás. 

Tu incapacidad para estar presente ha empezado a abrir una brecha entre tú y tus amigos. Realmente quieres cambiar, pero algo te tira para atrás.

You’ve been neglecting to take care of your mind, body and soul

Even though you’ve always attempted to find the time to stay active, hit the gym and be conscious of your health, you’re finding it harder and harder to do so.

There’s always something more important that you need to do and you keep postponing gym time. You promise yourself that you’ll make up for it the following week but you don’t.

You can’t understand how you’ve become this way. You do care about yourself, you want to be proactive, so what gives?

Tiene unos hábitos de gasto excesivamente entusiastas.

You’ve never been much of a spender but boy, has that changed. Your online shopping has started to become worrisome.

Your credit card balance is also a clear sign that you should hit the brakes but you can’t. 

You see something and you have to have it. Your sound mind has gone out the window and there’s a new girl (o guy) in town and they’re trying to bankrupt you.

Véase también: Persona adecuada, momento inadecuado: ¿por qué siempre nos pasa lo mismo?

You haven’t got in touch with anyone in your life for too long

Tus amigos están en suspenso. Tu vida social está en suspenso. Sigues intentando gestionar tu tiempo y encontrar un hueco para volver con la gente, pero es en vano.

You can’t recall the last time you had a proper conversation with your friends. You’ve got dozens of texts and DMs waiting to be seen but they’re at the bottom of your list.

Here’s the deal. Your work should never trump your personal relationships. At the end of the day, your people are the only ones who’ll stick by you when things get rough. No trabajo.

So, it’s time to reevaluate your time and how you spend it. Nurture those relationships and stop neglecting those who matter most.

You haven’t had a vacation in ages

You’re long overdue for a vacation. You know this but you can’t seem to do anything about it. Your life feels all sorts of messed up as you keep neglecting to take care of yourself.

You haven’t had a proper break for ages. You’ve been feeling the negative effects a lot lately. Your mind needs a break.

“The biggest wall you have to climb is the one you build in your mind: Never let your mind talk you out of your dreams, trick you into giving up. Never let your mind become the greatest obstacle to success. To get your mind on the right track, the rest will follow.” – Roy. T. Bennett

Your ‘go-go-go’ mode makes you think of everyone else as lazy

Estás constantemente en movimiento. No puedes parar de trabajar y ser demasiado ambicioso, lo que ha empezado a estropear tu mente.

Cuando socializas con tus amigos y les oyes hablar de salir, divertirse y simplemente desconectar, tu mente los clasifica como perezosos.

Here’s the 411. It’s OK to nurture your ‘go-go-go’ mode as long as it doesn’t reflect on the quality of your life and most importantly, how you perceive your friends.

People are entitled to have fun and relax after a long, hard day. And the reason why something doesn’t feel right is that you keep denying yourself a much-needed break.

You’re not eating well

You’ve stopped keeping up with your body’s demands. Your diet has become extremely unhealthy and you merely throw stuff in your mouth during your five-minute breaks.

Tu trabajo (o lo que sea que preocupe tu mente) ha ocupado tanto de tu tiempo que tus hábitos alimenticios se han vuelto preocupantes.

You used to pay great attention to what you put in your body but now, you’re feeling anxious, uneasy and constantly on-the-go that you simply don’t have time anymore.

It’s time to start prioritizing yourself and your health. Your energy levels will decrease if you keep acting in this self-destructive manner.

If something feels off in your life, address it. Don’t take it out on your health.

5 preguntas que debe hacerse cuando nada le parece bien

¿Qué es lo que realmente le preocupa?

Todos experimentamos importantes episodios de estrés en un momento u otro, pero para llegar al fondo de los problemas es necesario comprender las causas subyacentes.

¿Qué es lo que te ha estado carcomiendo durante las últimas semanas o meses? ¿Ha sido tu pareja tóxica la que ya no te hace sentir feliz? 

¿Es el ambiente de la oficina y la forma en que sus compañeros de trabajo se han comportado con usted? ¿Sus hijos (si los tiene) le dan ganas de desaparecer a veces?

Figure this one out and you’ll be closer to your answer.

¿Cómo te hace sentir esa cosa y puedes influir en ella?

I know that this sounds like such a cliché but it’s the natural next step in helping you cope during stressful times.

¿Cómo te hace sentir esta cosa? ¿Le has dado demasiado espacio en tu cabeza? ¿Puedes influir en cómo dejas que te afecte?

It’s all about understanding the external factors so that you can influence how they affect you internally. You’d be flabbergasted at how easy it is to simply turn this little voice off.

Las cosas casi nunca son tan graves como crees y, en última instancia, TÚ eliges cómo te sientes al final de todo. Pruébalo y verás los cambios.

¿Cuáles son las mejores maneras de manejar esta situación?

Cuando te encuentres en una encrucijada y no estés seguro de qué decisión tomar, pregúntate qué solución aumentaría tu calidad de vida.

¿Cómo te afectaría cada elección a largo plazo? Esto es algo que sólo tú sabes y vas a hacer una buena elección.

Just don’t let yourself react impulsively. Always consider the bottom line and go in whichever direction leads you toward it.

Véase también: Reto de 30 días de amor propio: conviértete en la mejor versión de ti mismo

¿Cuáles son las ventajas y desventajas de su puesto?

Listing the pros and cons has always been my favorite thing whenever I’m facing a dilemma. It’s all organized neatly and making the decision is so much easier.

¿Los pros superan a los contras? ¿Puedes cambiarlo de alguna manera? ¿Puede desea para cambiarlo?

Once you’ve gone through the list and fully understand the position you find yourself in, then you can make changes. Why? Because you’ve educated yourself enough to do so.

Nunca tomes decisiones importantes en un ataque de ira. Relájate, espera, haz tu lista y considera racionalmente tus opciones. 

¿Persigue lo imposible?

When something doesn’t feel right, we immediately feel like giant changes are needed. But are they really?

Listen, sometimes you’re just doing the best with what you’ve got. Sure, there are always ways in which you can improve, as listed above but sometimes, we tend to chase the impossible.

You’re probably wondering what the hell I’m talking about. It’s simple. Perfection isn’t real. Nobody has it all figured out and nobody’s exempt from feeling overstretched at times.

But that doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong. It just means that your current situation isn’t ideal. But this too shall pass.

If you’ve reflected on tu vida and realized that there isn’t much you’d do differently, then just don’t! Your distress will pass and things will start normalizing again.

When you find yourself chasing after something elusive, hit the brakes. You’re not superhuman, so stop putting unrealistic expectations on yourself.

And remember…

“Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.” – Albert Schweitzer