Como deixar um narcisista... de uma só vez

Terminar uma relação com um companheiro narcisista pode ser muito mais difícil do que simplesmente acabar com ela e recusar-se a atender o telefone. Os narcisistas não gostam de perder. E não gostam de perder parceiros.

To understand the difficulty, one must first understand how a narcissist’s mind operates, and the best way to sum it up is – egocentrismo alargado. Whereas it’s human nature to consider our own needs first (whether we like to admit it or not), a narcissist takes this self-centeredness to the extreme. So much so, in fact, that other people are considered merely extensões do eu que são utilizados para ajudar o indivíduo a sentir-se completo e facilitar os seus planos.

In other words, everyone in the narcissist’s world lives only to serve the needs of the narcissist. If, at any time, these as pessoas tornam-se complacentes, unwilling, or unable to do so, they will be quickly discarded. This means, an individual with this behavioral disorder may cheat, lie, steal, commit fraud, use substances – and will likely do all of the above – and it must be tolerated.

So, what happens if it’s not?

Se não tem a certeza se o seu parceiro que o está a prejudicar é um narcisista, tente deixá-los. Veja o que acontece. Rapidamente se aperceberá de que são, se de facto o são. Isto deve-se ao facto de os narcisistas não conseguirem simplesmente deixar a pessoa e seguir em frente. Perder-te significa perder uma parte utilizável de si próprio.

So, you can expect this partner to do a variety of underhanded things all meant for one ultimate purpose – to destroy you. If you try to leave, the narcissist will say and do anything and everything possible to convince you they are sorry for their faults and willing to change – just long enough for you to return. Then, they’re able to descartar (e não o contrário) num último ato de grand finale destinado a garantir que ficas sem ninguém nem nada de importante na tua vida.

To accomplish this, the master-manipulator won’t beg, cry, pout, and deliver flowers – at least, not for long. Instead, they will aspirador – ever so subtly interjecting themselves time and again into your life, poking and prodding, so as not to be forgotten.

Narcissists can’t be alone. Therefore, they may “go away” for a period of time to focus on new prey – or, rather, old prey, since this individual was likely there all along. Then, just when you think you’re rid of them, they will return and try to get you to give in, so they can complete their jogo sádico.

Também, enquanto vos desmaiam e cortejam outro, empregam um campanha de difamação nas tuas costas para te deixar sem nada. Isto significa que eles estarão ocupados a contactar secretamente todas as pessoas do seu círculo e a convencê-las a ficar do lado deles. Dirão e farão qualquer coisa para que as pessoas mais próximas de si acreditem neles.

Not only will the narcissist try to make all of your friends and family turn against you, but this person will try to get you to lose your job, your home, your finances, and any thread of stability you have left. This won’t be too difficult, actually, since chances are, your partner began stripping these things away from you long ago. Narcissists work tirelessly toward having their mates be entirely dependent on their support right from the beginning.

Mind you, this is all happening while your former partner is also trying to convince you, straight-faced, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to them and they absolutely can’t live without you. If you give in to the lies and return, eles descartam-no. E, uma vez que eram realmente a única coisa que te restava, ficarás sem absolutamente nada. Fim do jogo.

Então, como é que deixar um narcisista? Quietly, quickly, and without even saying goodbye. There may be a million things you want to call this person out on, but it’s simply not worth it. The best thing you can do for your own sanity and well-being is to leave and go entirely no contact to the best of your ability. Refuse any further advances, cut ties with all the mutual acquaintances you can, Mantenham-se fortes e nunca olhem para trás.

The sobering reality is, once you have entered into a partnership with a narcissist, you will forever be in this partnership whether you want to be or not. But, you can minimize this pain by taking the steps to distance yourself as much as possible – não importa o que aconteça.

O inferno não tem fúria como uma mulher desprezada? O inferno não viu a ira de um narcisista ferido.