Como detetar um rapaz que se fode (e como lidar com ele)

Os encontros modernos trouxeram muitas mudanças no domínio das relações. Sim, a verdade é que, hoje em dia, tem muito mais opções e possibilidades e raramente alguém o julga pelas escolhas que faz.

À primeira vista, o jogo dos encontros tornou-se muito mais fácil e encontrar alguém adequado para si deve ser agora uma tarefa fácil.

Afinal de contas, tem centenas de novas oportunidades para conhecer a sua alma gémea para além de o fazer pessoalmente.

Temos o Facebook, o Instagram, o Tinder e todas as outras aplicações de encontros e redes sociais que nos ajudam a conhecer a outra pessoa antes de nos envolvermos com ela.

However, modern dating isn’t as perfect as it seems and it definitely has its disadvantages.

Ironicamente, todas estas regras actuais tornaram, de facto, mais difícil para qualquer pessoa conhecer alguém com quem queira comprometer-se.

Sim, encontrar uma booty call ou uma relação sem compromisso é a coisa mais fácil do mundo, mas se quiser algo mais do que isso, tem de ser muito cuidadoso e trabalhar para o conseguir.

Ou pode utilizar este guia brilhante chamado O Sistema de Devoção que te ajuda a fazer com que qualquer homem que queiras perceba que precisa de ti na vida dele. Não é fixe?

Finding someone to date who treats you right, respects you, and enjoys your company as much as you do theirs can be seriously hard work, not least thanks to the new era of boys on the dating scene – fuckboys.

Mas o que é um rapaz de merdaA sério? Ele é um batoteiro em série? Um jogador ? O tipo de homem que só quer entrar nas tuas calças?

Um jovem imaturo que te vai partir o coração para aumentar o seu ego?

CLIQUE AQUI e parar os seus jogos antes mesmo de começarem.

Well, let me tell you that a fuckboy is all of the above. Fuckboys are known for playing with girls’ hearts, treating them poorly, and generally wreaking havoc on the dating scene, while using Tinder and other dating apps as their playgrounds.

The word fuckboy has been put in Urban Dictionary in 2004, where it stated that a fuckboy is a ” weak ass pussy “.

However, the first one to use this term was hip-hop artist Cam’ron in his 2002 hit Rapaz, rapaz .

After Cam’ron ‘s song Rapaz, rapaz Em 2002, muitos outros artistas de hip-hop lidaram com este termo, incluindo outro artista de hip-hop, Killer Mike .

Killer Mike explained that the easiest way to recognize fuckboys is by the fact that they always ” fuck shit up.”

Enquanto Rapaz, rapaz e outras canções introduziram a palavra no dicionário Urban , o Tumblr é a rede que popularizou o termo, alterando o seu significado original.

On Tumblr , people gave different definitions of fuckboy, starting with “the guy who depends on his mother but doesn’t respect women,” to “a player who is only interested in sexual relationships, ” ending with “a guy who sends his dickpics around.”

É claro que nem todos os homens são "fuckboys", e estes "segundos-ratores" dão mau nome aos bons.

Dito isto, aprender a identificar um rapaz que gosta de foder e, mais importante, saber como lidar com ele, pode ajudá-la a proteger-se de qualquer dor de cabeça desnecessária e a trabalhar na cena dos encontros como uma profissional.

Naturalmente, o primeiro passo é aprender a reconhecer os padrões de comportamento que quase todos os maricas apresentam porque, no fundo, todos eles agem de forma semelhante.

That is why we’re here: to offer you firstly some tips on how to spot a fuckboy, as well as sure-fire signs that you’re dealing with one.

Sacos de confiança

A primeira coisa que se nota em qualquer rapaz do sexo feminino é a sua confiança.

Trust me on this one: a fuckboy doesn’t have to look good, he doesn’t have to be smart, funny or interesting.

Mas ele tem de ser um confiante macho alfa Mesmo que esta confiança não tenha qualquer apoio.

Infelizmente, esta é a coisa que mais a atrai neste tipo de homem em primeiro lugar.

Ele acredita em si próprio ao ponto de conseguir convencer todas as mulheres que o rodeiam, incluindo você, de que ele é realmente o melhor e que merece a atenção e o tempo dela.

Antes de mais, é preciso ter sempre em mente que os "fuckboys" são profissionais neste jogo de encontros que vivem esta vida de "fuckboy" há muito tempo e que, muito provavelmente, já tiveram a sua quota-parte de encontros.

You’re not this guy’s first victim – he knows how to walk the walk and talk the talk, which leaves him with a lot of confidence in the dating world.

Expect them to wow you with their confidence, blow you away with their chat, and take control of the entire situation, but remember there’s a fine line between confidence and cockiness and this is something most fuckboys don’t know.

Knowing this, you probably wonder how can someone fall for a cocky guy who is overly sure about himself and who acts as if he’s above everyone else? Well, the truth is that every fuckboy wears his confidence in a rather charming way that almost no one can resist.

Este tipo de homem faz-nos pensar na razão desse enorme ego e nas qualidades que se escondem por detrás da sua auto-confiança.

Sadly, with time, you discover that all of this was nothing more than an act and that he has no foundation for being so certain about himself – but once that happens, you’re usually already head over heels for this guy and it’s too late for you to escape unharmed.

No início, esta presença pode ser uma qualidade muito atractiva nos encontros.

This guy knows when to say all the right things , so it’s easy to get blindsided and swoon when you should be swerving.

Apesar de um nível elevado de autoestima não ser a única coisa a que se deve prestar atenção quando se tenta detetar um rapaz que se está a foder, alguém demasiado confiante e seguro de si pode ser um rapaz que se está a foder.

So, bear this in mind as red flag number one if something doesn’t quite sit right.

Falta de atenção

When you’re starting to date someone new, you should be in the exciting honeymoon phase where you can’t get enough of each other.

After all, this is the stage in which the two of you are crazy about each other, a period when everything seems too good to be true, a time when you haven’t discovered each other’s flaws just yet.

A fase em que nenhum dos dois se cansa de estar numa relação ou aborrecidos uns com os outros, and when you still haven’t had enough time to get to know each other’s annoying sides.

However, this is not the case with your relationship. Even though you two have just started dating, this guy’s never showed you that he’s enchanted with you and never made you feel special.

Bem, se alguém lhe está a mostrar uma nítida falta de atenção no início de uma relação, então detestamos ter de lhe dizer isto, mas essa pessoa pode ser apenas um rapazinho que se fode.

After all, this is the part of your relationship where there shouldn’t exist anything more interesting for him than you and you shouldn’t be begging him for attention .

Nevertheless, it seems that this guy’s attention is elsewhere. At first, your first impulse might be to chase him or to beg for his love, but with time, the truth becomes clear: these are nothing else but his games and that’s not something you need in your life.

Someone who can’t give you sufficient time and energy that you deserve is not worthy of your time.

Someone who doesn’t pay you enough attention at any stage of your relationship is a fuckboy –  you can do better.

Chat de Fodas Padrão

Another thing that can help you spot a fuckboy is this guy’s way of talking and addressing his victims.

At first, you think that decrypting a fuckboy’s verbal signs is impossible, but later on, you understand that all of them actually both talk and behave the same way.

Fuckboys have their own language, and it’s actually pretty easy to spot!

A primeira caraterística desta linguagem é o constante pedido de desculpas.

Um engatatão não pára de dizer que lamenta tê-la deixado pendurada, que não responde aos seus telefonemas ou simplesmente que é um idiota.

Of course, when this happens for the first time, you’ll be more than happy for the fact that this guy has taken responsibility for his actions and you’ll take his apologies as a sign that he’s ready to change his ways.

However, later on, when this becomes a routine in your relationship, you’ll realize that he’s actually just paying lip service and that his apologies are fake.

You’ll see that his empty excuses and false promises mean nothing because he always continues with his fuckboy behavior, no matter what he tries to make you believe.

Another characteristic of fuckboy language is constant compliments. Let’s face it, all of us women enjoy knowing that our boyfriend thinks of us as beautiful, intelligent, or attractive.

We all like hearing that we look amazing in that new dress or that we’re beasts in the bedroom.

No entanto, elogios honestos são uma coisa, mas dizer convenientemente as coisas certas na altura certa e dar-te graxa só para te fazer sentir melhor depois de te magoar é algo completamente diferente.

And this is exactly what every fuckboy does – he showers you with compliments to divert your eyes from everything he’s doing behind your back.

Portanto, se este jovem passa mais tempo a pedir-lhe desculpa e a elogiá-la do que a perguntar-lhe como foi o seu dia, então livra-te desse cabrão imediatamente.

Além disso, se as suas palavras não estiverem de forma alguma sincronizadas com os seus actos, tudo está mais do que claro.

Falta de empenhamento

Embora cada relação evolua ao seu próprio ritmo, chega uma altura em que a falta de compromisso é evidente.

Este é o momento em que tem de se perguntar se você e o seu namorado querem as mesmas coisas e se esta relação tem futuro.

Let’s get one thing straight: a fuckboy will never commit to you! No matter how hard you try and how long you wait for him to change, a player always remains a player and there is nothing you can do about it.

But the worst part is that he’ll never be clear about this. He’ll never admit that he is a fobia de compromissos who’ll never take you seriously.

Em vez disso, um "fuckboy" vai continuar a convencer-te de que te ama e que leva a sério a vossa relação.

However, if a guy you’re dating keeps canceling plans, changing your arrangements, and ditching you, it is clear as day that you need to dump his sorry ass as soon as possible.

Ele recusa-se a rotular as coisas

Outra coisa que normalmente anda de mãos dadas com a falta de compromisso é outro comportamento clássico do fuckboy: ele insistir em manter o relação sem rótulos . Um rapaz que se fode raramente te chama namorada oficial.

I nstead, he’ll focus on the good times the two of you are having together and try to persuade you that naming and defining things is outdated and old-fashioned.

O facto é que esta é apenas a sua forma de se safar do seu comportamento idiota.

Desta forma, ele tem todos os benefícios de uma relação sem quaisquer desvantagens, o que é típico de um "fuckboy".

Em si, ele tem sexo regular, alguém para acariciar, alguém para o ouvir e alguém para ser o seu companheiro.

Ao mesmo tempo, quando o chamamos à atenção para as suas acções, ele tem sempre uma desculpa válida de que não é seu namorado e que não lhe deve nada. Basicamente, não tens direitos nesta relação.

Tudo acontece nos seus termos

Quando se trata de uma relação com este tipo de homem, pode esquecer-se imediatamente de saber qual é a sua posição e, mais ainda, de chegar a um compromisso.

Não, vocês os dois não são parceiros iguais e, mesmo que não o vejam, toda a vossa relação acontece sob as condições dele.

Os dois encontram-se, conversam e enviam mensagens de texto como, quando e onde ele quiser.

When he has something better to do, you fall to the bottom his priority list and all of a sudden he’s too busy for you.

On the other hand, as soon as everyone else bails on him, you’re the first one he calls.

Não há nada de invulgar num rapaz que ignora-o all day, just to send you a message at midnight asking if he can come over to “cuddle.” It is more than obvious what this guy is after, and that he wants to commit to you in his own way and on his own terms.

Qualquer falta de compromisso é uma falta de fé na vossa relação e, muito francamente, uma atitude clássica de um "fuckboy".

Mantém-te em segredo

Each different relationship unfolds with its own timing, and if you haven’t yet met the friends or family of the guy you’re dating and want to take it slow, then that’s totally fine.

However, this doesn’t make it okay for your boyfriend to keep your relationship a secret.

If this is the case with your guy – if he is actively keeping you a secret from his family and friends, avoiding mentioning you, and using you to sneak around – then it’s pretty likely that he doesn’t want your relationship to be public because it would interfere with the fuckboy life he’s been living.

It is quite possible that he doesn’t plan on having a future with you and that he doesn’t want you to become a part of his life, since you’ll be out of it any time now.

Not being ready for a serious commitment is one thing, but pretending like you don’t exist when the two of you aren’t alone? That’s not good enough.

The two of you are adults and you don’t have to be all over each other wherever you go, but there is nothing wrong with some public displays of affection.

Lembre-se que precisa de alguém que tenha orgulho em estar consigo e que queira mostrá-lo ao mundo.

Besides, there is also a possibility that this man is hiding you because he is in a long term relationship or even married and he doesn’t want to get caught.

Poderá ser a outra mulher without even knowing it just because he is a weak ass pussy who doesn’t have the guts to tell you the truth.  

Outras raparigas em cena

When you’re dating someone, they should be investing their time in you and you alone.

Of course, at first when you’re on the dating scene, you may both be entertaining other options and under no requirement to be exclusive.

However, when you spend a little more time with someone and start dating more regularly, it’s generally assumed that you become exclusive as you give things a shot.

Fidelity is something that should be expected and implied, and anything else isn’t even an option.

Nevertheless, if your guy has other options opened or if he’s still seeing other girls, he is without doubt a living example of a fuckboy.

You’re not the only girl in this guy’s life and that is not something you should ever accept, especially if you’re exclusive.

Deve saiba o seu valor and know how much you can bring to someone’s life, so don’t ever settle for being just a part when you should be the whole.

Incapacidade de ouvir

Os fuckboys são mestres da conversa fiada. O que eles fazem melhor é envolver-te na conversa com eles para recolherem o máximo de informação necessária para te porem do lado deles.

Eles vão perguntar muitas coisas questões profundas to get to know you better, but anything beyond that doesn’t interest them at all.

At first, you’ll be delighted by the fact that this guy wants to get to the bottom of your personality, but with time, you’ll see that he doesn’t care about your life at all.

This will leave you with an emotional void you won’t be able to fill.

A forma mais fácil de saber se a pessoa está realmente na conversa com o objetivo de obter algum dinheiro é prestar atenção se ela está realmente envolvida na conversa ou se está a responder às suas perguntas com afirmações sobre si própria.

Se sentir que a conversa tem alguma profundidade e significado, então a pessoa está genuinamente interessada em si.

Nevertheless, if you get the feeling that the conversation is a one-way street, then you’re dealing with a fuckboy who has gathered all the information he needs and won’t bother going any deeper.

‘Nice Guy Charade

Quando alguém é uma pessoa simpática, acreditem, não tem consciência disso.

Fazem coisas boas porque a sua consciência lhes diz que o devem fazer e porque acreditam que é a forma correcta de viver a sua vida.

Genuinely nice people don’t have the need to go around telling everyone about their qualities and bragging about their good deeds.

If you meet a guy who doesn’t have a history of cheating or abusing his partners, this is not something he’ll talk about constantly.

This man considers this the right way of being in a relationship and he doesn’t expect a medal for being a normal guy who treated his girlfriends the way they deserve.

On the other hand, when you’re dealing with a man who is constantly bringing your attention to the fact that he is a homem simpático , then you’re definitely dealing with a fuckboy.

They have the need to convince you they won’t hurt you because they wouldn’t want to hurt a fly, just so you can open up to them and trust them, only to get extremely hurt in the end.

As suas redes sociais

Quer queiramos admitir ou não, as nossas redes sociais revelam muito sobre nós e esta é uma das formas que pode ajudar a revelar se alguém é um "fuckboy" ou não.

A fuckboy will like literally every female’s profile pictures , status updates, and posts.

Besides, he’ll be known for sending his dick pics whenever he has a chance of doing so.

You’ll track many girls liking and commenting on his posts and profile pictures in a way that reveals something more going on between them.

Quando o confronta com essas mulheres, ele diz-lhe que não tem nada com que se preocupar.

Even though he claims that these girls are nothing more than his friends, the truth is that he doesn’t even know many of them, he’s slept with some of them in the past, and he still has sexual relationships with a number of them.

Now that you’ve learned what is a fuckboy and how to discover him, it’s time to find out more about handling this type of guy successfully.

Of course, the best thing you could do is to run for your life as soon as you notice signs of a fuckboy, but sometimes, you’re dragged too deep in a relationship with this guy and you have to find a way to deal with him.

That is exactly what we are giving you: an answer to a question almost every woman has asked herself in one point of her life: “How to deal with a fuckboy?”

Como lidar com ele?

Se o seu homem está a apresentar alguns dos bandeiras vermelhas listed above, then we’re sorry to tell you that he is probably a fuckboy, and you deserve better.

I know that you’re hoping he’ll change in time and thinking that you should just be patient enough until that happens.

However, the truth is that he’ll forever remain the same douchebag he’s always been and he’ll never become the man you need him to be.

Por conseguinte, a forma correcta de vencer este tipo de homem no seu próprio jogo é não jogar.

Sim, ouviste bem. O que deve fazer é ignorá-lo completamente e expulsá-lo da sua vida para sempre.

No tactics, no arguments, no revenge – just walk away and move on with your life, as much as it hurts. Trust me, this is the last thing he expects.

À primeira vista, este tipo age como um finalista do liceu. Honestamente, porém, ele está provavelmente a tentar compensar tudo o que perdeu durante o liceu e pensa que esta é a forma correcta de o fazer.

Every fuckboy is actually an insecure, immature boy who has the need to feed his ego by breaking other people’s hearts.

Messed up, I know, but it’s his way of making himself feel important.

So, as long as you’re allowing this guy to keep dragging you back in his never-ending circle of manipulation, mind games, mixed signals, and other fuckboy shit , he is the winner because this is exactly what he wants.

Don’t try to outsmart him because you won’t succeed. Firstly, he has a lot of experience in doing this. Secondly, your conscience would never allow you to be like him.

To sum it up, when it comes to dealing with a fuckboy, the answer is simple – don’t deal with him.

You should never dedicate your time to someone who doesn’t have the time, energy, and affection that you need to keep you happy.

No mundo complicado dos encontros, para si, a sua felicidade deve ocupar o primeiro lugar na sua lista de prioridades.

When someone brings you down or doesn’t make you completely happy, ditch them and move on.

You should always be number one in your life, and when you know your worth, a fuckboy simply won’t do.

These type of men aren’t interested in women they can’t have an impact on, so the moment he sees that you’re an independent woman who values herself, he will pass onto another victim.

Uma fêmea alfa precisa de um homem que acrescente algo à sua vida, não que lhe tire nada.

If you think you’re dating a fuckboy, then show him the door and let him make way for someone who will make you happy.

Se esperares e cuidares de ti, prometemos que um homem a sério tomará o seu lugar.

Remember that remaining single until the right guy comes along beats being nothing more than someone’s option, hands down.