Como saber quando acabar: 20 sinais de que deve terminar a sua relação

A sua relação está apenas a atravessar um período difícil ou está na altura de acabar?

How to know when it’s time to break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend and when there is no point in trying anymore?

Estas são as perguntas que todos nós já tivemos na cabeça em algum momento da nossa vida.

And if the question “How to know when to break up?” is something that’s been bothering you lately, you have come to the right place because you’re about to read 20 sure-fire signs that you should put a stop to your romance, without any further ado.

20 Bad Signs That It’s Time To End Your Relationship

1. Não vê futuro no casal

One of the first bad signs that you ought to end your relationship is the fact that it isn’t going anywhere, as much as you hate to admit it.

You and your partner can’t seem to agree about your life goals and this is not someone you see yourself growing old next to.

This is especially the case if, for example, you want to start a family and have kids while they wouldn’t mind dating for a couple more years and can’t make you any promises regarding your future together.

You’ll have to agree that these are some serious fator de desempates you won’t be able to surpass.

I’m not saying that every relationship has to last a lifetime but what’s the point of being with someone you know you won’t end up with?

As coisas podem estar a correr bem neste momento, mas se sabe que o seu fim é inevitável, porquê perder mais tempo numa relação que está condenada ao fracasso?

Instead, end everything in time because you’ll have to do it sooner or later.

2. Pensa nas outras pessoas

Como saber quando é que se deve acabar? Bem, uma das respostas é: quando se começa a pensar noutras pessoas.

There is absolutely nothing wrong if you see a girl or a guy you find objectively attractive even though you’re in a happy relationship.

After all, you’re not blind and you can’t help but notice when someone is good-looking.

No entanto, quando se ama verdadeiramente a pessoa amada, nunca se vai avançar para ela.

You may see the most beautiful woman or the most handsome man but you will forget all about them as soon as they’re gone from your sight.

Nevertheless, this is not what’s happening with you. In fact, you keep thinking about other people in a romantic way.

You continuously picture yourself next to someone who is not your partner and you can’t help but imagine how your life would look next to another person.

Not only that—there is probably someone specific you can’t get out of your mind.

If this is something you can relate to, your relationship is already over; you’re just still unaware of that fact.

Even though you haven’t done anything just yet and you haven’t physically cheated on your significant other, having someone else in your thoughts is a reason enough to break up with them.

3. You aren’t making any progress

A relação saudável deve fazê-lo avançar e deve ser benéfico para o seu bem-estar como pessoa.

Deve empurrá-lo para a frente e inspirá-lo a tornar-se a melhor versão possível de si próprio.

However, you feel like you can’t move an inch next to your partner. You feel like they’re holding you back and as if your romance leaves you no room for progress.

The same is happening with your entire relationship; it isn’t going anywhere and you are both stuck in exactly the same places you were when you just started dating and there has been no improvement whatsoever.

Nothing is going on and you haven’t evolved as a couple.

It is one thing if we’re talking about a relationship that lasts only a few months because in that case, you should give it a little more time to see whether you and your partner will start moving forward.

On the other hand, if you feel trapped in a long term relationship that hasn’t moved forward in years, it is a good sign that nothing will change in the future either.

4. Querer coisas diferentes

Entre outros factores, para que a sua relação seja bem sucedida, é fundamental ser compatível com a sua cara-metade.

You two don’t have to literally be the same people but you should definitely have similar desires, ambitions and goals.

After all, this is someone you’re planning your life next to and you can expect a lot of fighting in the future unless you two have similar worldviews on the important things in life.

When you and your boyfriend want completely opposite things and have different attitudes in life but can’t seem to find a middle ground, some serious problems will arise sooner or later.

Neste cenário, por vezes é melhor acabar com as coisas a tempo, antes que seja demasiado tarde. A dura realidade é que nenhum de vocês vai mudar (nem deve) e é impossível viver ao lado de uma pessoa que tem pouco em comum consigo.

Opposites do attract—that is why you and your significant other started your relationship but they rarely last and that is why you two can’t manage to make your trabalho de relacionamento agora.

5. You’ve stopped having sex

Por muito quente que seja a vossa ação debaixo dos lençóis, isso nunca é suficiente para que a vossa relação seja bem sucedida.

Por outro lado, ironicamente, uma má vida sexual (or when you can’t remember the last time you had sex) is more than a good reason for it to go downhill and eventually break down completely.

And that is exactly what’s been going on with you and your partner lately.

Somehow, you two stopped having sex and even when you do sleep together, there is absolutely no passion involved and you feel like you’re performing a task that needs to be done.

É claro que, neste caso, deve tentar falar com a sua cara-metade antes de dar qualquer passo.

Talvez estejam apenas a passar por uma fase má ou possam melhorar as coisas com um pouco de imaginação.

Nevertheless, if the situation continues in this manner after you’ve tried everything, it is more than clear that your chemistry is long gone.

They don’t find you attractive anymore (or vice versa) and this lack of sex will bring problems to other parts of your relationship sooner or later.

6. Está sempre a lutar

Quer gostem de o admitir ou não, todos os casais discutem de vez em quando.

No entanto, se você e o seu parceiro discutem sobre cada pequena coisa e se toda a vossa comunicação se baseia em algum tipo de discussão, é um bom sinal de que algo está errado na vossa relação.

Another red flag that the question “How to know when to break up?” is appearing in your head with a reason is the fact that your arguments are not productive.

Discutem sem qualquer razão específica, apenas para se livrarem da energia negativa acumulada que sentem um pelo outro.

Além disso, insultam-se e humilham-se mutuamente sempre que têm um desacordo.

It is like you’re incapable of having a healthy discussion where your opinions oppose without turning it into a bigger issue.

The problem is also that you repeat your arguments. You don’t learn from them and you never once resolve them.

So, why do you keep staying in this kind of unhealthy environment? Why do you keep ruining your mental health by remaining next to someone you clearly can’t get along with?

7. You can’t forgive something from the past

De acordo com os especialistas em namoro, a maioria dos casais termina a relação por causa de algo que pensavam ter esquecido há muito tempo.

Sometimes, you think you forgave and forgot about your significant other’s infidelity, lying or abuse and you continue living with them for a certain period of time as if everything is behind you and in perfect order.

Depois, passados alguns anos, do nada, os traumas do passado começam a assombrar-nos.

Repara que, na verdade, continua a guardar rancores e que o ressentimento o está a comer vivo.

Detesto ter de te dizer isto, mas nunca perdoaste ou esqueceste as coisas que viveste.

E provavelmente nunca o fará. Por isso, a única hipótese que tem é afastar-se.

Sabe que fez o seu melhor para ultrapassar este problema e para ter um coração aberto, mas o seu ressentimento é simplesmente mais forte do que a sua razão e não há nada que possa fazer.

8. You feel like you’re alone in the relationship

Não há como fixar um relação unilateral. You’re the only one trying, so what’s the point of investing more of yourself in a relationship you’re only interested in building?

I’m not saying that you and your partner have put exactly the same amount of effort into your romance.

There will be days when you’ll be giving your entire self, while they won’t try at all and vice versa. Nobody can measure or weigh the effort you’re both putting in.

However, if you feel like you’re alone in this relationship, why don’t you change your status and become officially single?

9. You’re only together because of your history

Muitos casais mantêm-se fiéis um ao outro devido ao seu passado mútuo.

This is especially the case when you’re still involved with your high school or college sweetheart; you two have been together for a lot of time, you’re part of each other’s families, you have a lot of mutual friends and you’ve grown up together.

Com o tempo, essa pessoa tornou-se a sua zona de conforto. Sabe o que esperar dela em cada momento e ela representa familiaridade e segurança.

Even though this is all nice, it shouldn’t be the only reason you stay next to someone.

If you feel like you’ve superou esta pessoa and like your history together is the only thing that connects you, maybe it’s time to part ways.

Please, don’t feel guilty for choosing your future and present over your past. Don’t let your memories hold you back and prevent you from moving on with your life.

10. You stay because you don’t want to hurt your partner

A common reason why people stay in a relationship that doesn’t make them happy is guilt.

You have no doubt that you want out but you know that your decision would break your partner’s heart.

So you stay right where you are because you don’t want to destroy them emotionally or hurt their feelings.

Well, let me tell you that this is one of the worst things you can do. First and foremost, by doing this, you’re torturing yourself.

No matter how much you owe this person, you don’t have the duty to be in this relationship if that is not something you want.

Secondly, you’re hurting your partner even more by staying next to them, despite your desire to leave.

How do you think they would feel if they ever found out that you wanted to break up with them but didn’t have the courage to do so?

Afinal, gostaria que o seu ente querido ficasse consigo por pena? Ou preferia que ele o deixasse?

11. Começam a irritar-te

Quando amamos uma pessoa, tudo o que ela faz é giro. Mas quando deixamos de a amar, todas as suas pequenas coisas começam a irritar-nos.

This is exactly what’s going on with your relationship; it seems that you’re even bothered by the way your significant other inhales and exhales air.

You’re irritated by the way they talk, eat and behave in every possible situation.

Most of all—you’re annoyed by their presence and touch. You can’t stand this person hugging or kissing you, nor can you put up with them sleeping next to you anymore.

Sounds familiar, right? Well, it is a clear sign that it’s time to consider a breakup.

Yes, there is a possibility of this being just a phase. Maybe you’re easily agitated in general and involuntarily direct all of your negative energy toward the person you love the most.

On the other hand, if you can’t get rid of this feeling after some time has passed, it is a clear sign that it’s time to consider breaking up.

12. Espera que eles mudem

Have you ever gotten yourself into a relationship with a person whose personality traits and habits you don’t like?

Have you ever fallen in love with someone’s potential instead of their true self? From day one, you expected them to change.

Esperava que o vosso amor inspirá-los-ia a tornarem-se diferentes e melhores e a aperceberem-se finalmente dos seus erros. No entanto, essa mudança nunca chegou.

You’re both the same people you were at the beginning of your relationship and the truth is that those people are not compatible and can’t function together.

Don’t feel bad about this situation because it is one of the common reasons people part ways.

Instead, get to terms with the fact that your significant other will never change for real (because they don’t want to do so in the first place) and if you can’t accept their true personality, stop trying to modify them and end things in a healthy way.

13. Todos à tua volta apoiam uma separação

You’re a mature adult who doesn’t need anyone else’s guidance through life.

You don’t need people telling you what to do or who to date. Despite all of this, you know very well that your best friends and family members wish you all the best.

E a verdade é que, em muitos casos, eles conseguem ver a sua relação romântica de forma mais clara e objetiva.

Afinal de contas, as suas emoções não estão investidas na vossa relação e apercebem-se dos sinais de alerta antes de si.

Por conseguinte, se os seus familiares mais próximos continuam a aconselhá-lo a obter um nova relação and end this one, maybe they’re right.

Of course, this shouldn’t be the only reason for you to break things off. However, if you’re in doubt and aren’t sure whether there are enough warning signs that you should walk away, take their opinions into consideration.

14. Não tem comunicação

You can’t have a good relationship without healthy communication. You and your partner shouldn’t be just lovers—you should be best friends as well.

Esta deve ser a primeira pessoa a quem quer contar tudo, o seu confidente e conselheiro.

Alguém que sabes que te dirá sempre a verdade, por mais dura que seja, mas que, ao mesmo tempo, nunca te julgará.

Sadly, you and your partner stopped communicating in the healthiest ways. All you do is argue, you don’t share secrets anymore and you would rather talk to anyone besides them.

De facto, por vezes parece que deixaram de conversar completamente. Sim, falam de coisas sem importância, do dia a dia, mas não há vestígios das conversas profundas e significativas que costumavam ter.

O silêncio que o rodeia é tudo menos agradável ou reconfortante; é incómodo e cheio de tensão.

15. A confiança foi quebrada

Another warning sign that it’s time to end your relationship is the lack of trust you’re dealing with.

É provável que algo tenha acontecido para que deixasse de confiar no seu parceiro ou vice-versa, mas a verdade é que a sua relação atual não está nem perto do romance que teve no passado.

You see, your partner should be someone who would never betray you, the person you know you can always rely on and someone you know wouldn’t abandon you just because you’re going through some rough patch.

No entanto, não é assim que se sente ultimamente. Em vez disso, desperdiça muito tempo e energia a verificar o que se passa com eles.

You can’t get yourself to believe a word this person tells you and as much as you try, you don’t consider them to be trustworthy.

16. You’re in a relationship out of fear of being alone

Let’s face it—you would ditch your current relationship if it weren’t for one thing—your fear of being alone.

You can’t stand your single life and you feel lonely and deserted when you’re not a part of a couple and that is the only reason why you haven’t gotten out of this romance.

Se for esse o caso, é um sinal de aviso de que uma separação é a melhor coisa a fazer neste momento.

Lembre-se que ser solteiro in a healthy way beats being in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy anytime.

After all, there is nothing wrong with not having a romantic partner and it doesn’t mean that you’re alone in this world.

Ainda tens o teu emprego, os teus amigos, a tua família e, mais importante, ainda te tens a ti próprio.

Despite what you might think, you don’t need someone to complete you or to give your life meaning. Trust me—you’ll be perfectly fine on your own.

17. Está sempre a separar-se e a voltar a juntar-se

À primeira vista, as relações de namoro parecem excitantes e emocionantes.

When you keep on breaking up and getting back together with someone, you see it as a clear sign that you two can’t live without each other and that you’re destinados a acabar juntos.

Well, it’s time to take off your rose-tinted glasses and see this practice as a red flag that this is not the person for you.

I don’t care who is responsible for these behavior patterns—a vossa relação é tóxica e isso está a arruinar a sua saúde mental e emocional.

What exactly don’t you understand? If you and your partner could function together and if you had the ability to build a good relationship, you wouldn’t have been parting way every few weeks or months.

It is more than obvious that things aren’t working, never did and, sadly, never will.

Break this relationship off once for all and give yourself space to find a new relationship that won’t bring along all of this drama.

18. Há mais contras do que prós

O amor não é um negócio. No entanto, há alturas em que temos de seguir a nossa razão e não apenas o nosso coração.

Há alturas em que não temos outra opção senão pesar as coisas e decidir qual é o passo certo a dar.

And that is exactly what you did—you asked yourself how to know when to romperSe o seu relacionamento é um relacionamento de confiança, escreveu todas as vantagens e desvantagens da sua relação numa folha de papel.

Enumerou todos os momentos felizes e todos os momentos tristes e chegou à conclusão de que há muito mais contras do que prós.

So, what more evidence do you need? Aren’t all those dealbreakers reason enough to leave your partner and to stop torturing yourself and ruining your emotional health?

19. You aren’t happy

Your romantic relationship should make you happy—there is no arguing with that.

Of course, it shouldn’t be the only source of your happiness but it should bring joy and satisfaction to your life.

That’s the entire point of having a partner, right? To make your life a little bit better because you can be perfectly unhappy on your own.

I’m not saying that there should be rainbows and unicorns all the time and that healthy relationships don’t have situations in which both of the people involved are sad or feel bad but if your relationship is making you miserable most of the time, it is not the real deal.

Não perca mais o seu tempo com uma pessoa e uma relação que o fazem sentir-se nervoso, negativo, pessimista ou insatisfeito com a sua vida amorosa.

20. You don’t love each other anymore

Embora o amor não seja suficiente para fazer uma relação funcionar, é uma das condições mais importantes para um romance bem sucedido.

You can have the best relationship ever on paper but if you and your partner stopped loving each other (or if one of you doesn’t have any emotions left), I’m sorry but there is probably nothing you can do.

It doesn’t matter who deixou de amar whom; either way, don’t settle for being in a loveless relationship. Instead, pick yourself back up, walk away and focus on healing your broken heart.