Está na altura de me afastar das tuas tretas

There it is. I finally feel like I’ve got to that point in my life where I can shout from the top of my lungs to everyone who bothers me, loud and clear: “FU!”

I’m finally at that stage where I simply don’t give a damn anymore.

I don’t QUERER everyone to like me, I don’t NECESSIDADE to be in charge of everything, I don’t NECESSIDADE sofrer para chamar a atenção.

I’m a grown-ass woman who is done with bulls**t.

É aqui que se entra em ação.

Since this piece was inspired by your bullying and your crazy little manipulations, I suggest you take a seat and get comfortable because I’ve just started to take out my frustrations which I’ve been collecting for years.

So yes… it’s going to be a long ride.

Quase tenho pena de mim próprio por não ter percebido tudo mais cedo.

Porquê quase, perguntam vocês?

Well, the reason I’m NOT sorry is that I was fed so much bullshit that I ran out of places to store it, so it eventually started hitting me on the head with an intention to make me realize what an idiot I’ve been this whole time.

I know I would have never reached this blissful stage of complete enlightenment if I’d kept the BS from everyone deep inside, suffering in silence and coping with it when no one was looking.

That’s why I’m glad it happened anyway.

Agora, pelo menos, sei que dei o meu melhor. Sei que tentei tudo, mas nunca obtive qualquer feedback positivo da tua parte.

Continuaste a viver a tua vida sem compromissos, como se estivesses sozinho nela.

Continuou a ser egoísta, apesar de todos os avisos que lhe foram feitos de um dia para o outro.

Now that I’ve become indifferent, it’s too late for you to fix things. There is no going back.

For the sake of this article and for the sake of people still storing frustrations inside themselves, I’m going to write as many fundamentally stupid things as I can remember and the mistakes you made which slowly drove me away from you.

I know it’s hard to face the truth but bear with me… it might do you good and help you become a better version of yourself… IT. JUST. MIGHT.

BS No. 1 – Your hidden self-loathing was not my problem

Over time, I realized that the problem wasn’t me and I shouldn’t take any more BS because I was in no way responsible for the problems coming our way (despite how hard you tried to manipulate me into thinking it WAS all my fault).

The problem was you… all along, it was you.

You hated yourself for the things you did or better said, for the things you didn’t do and you should have.

Os teus arrependimentos cegavam-te e nunca conseguiste ultrapassá-los. Precisavas de alguém em quem descarregar tudo.

Eu era a fonte de energia viva mais próxima para as vossas intenções venenosas se ligarem.

I’m aware of that now and I’m finally putting an end to it—something I should have done a long time ago.

BS No. 2 – You made me (in one word) MISERABLE

Sorrir tornou-se algo que eu fazia em raras ocasiões. Aquelas rugas de felicidade pareciam desvanecer-se à medida que passava mais tempo contigo.

Me, a girl who was always laughing and in good spirits… I became unrecognizable.

Houve ocasiões em que sorri, mas todos os que me conheciam bem viam que estava a forçar o sorriso.

They all saw it—a big, fake smile to chase off curious snoopers dying to find out something new to gossip about.

Por outras palavras, lentamente, tornaste-me infeliz. Transformaste-me numa mulher cansada da vida.

At the age of thirty, I was tired of life. Isn’t that just sad?

BS No. 3 – You lacked any form of support imaginable

Agora até me pergunto se não terias ciúmes de mim? Talvez pensasses que eu tinha conseguido na vida e que tinhas ficado para trás.

But if that is true and it most definitely is not, how could have I achieved the things you wanted instead of you? I could only help you get there. I couldn’t do it for you.

E nunca tiveste coragem de te levantar e fazer alguma coisa da tua vida.

Por isso, depois de eu ter conseguido, quiseste ficar com os louros do meu trabalho. Querias ser a razão do meu sucesso.

The truth is I’m successful BECAUSE I had to do it all by myself.

I never could rely on you for anything—from the smallest details to bigger commitments. I guess what I want to say to you now is… thank you.

BS No.4 – Your jealousy was too much to handle

It became an obsession, really. It wasn’t cute anymore. Instead, it became horrific.

Over time, I felt like I needed to dedicate my life to you only, leaving no room for anyone else—friends or what’s even worse, family.

How could a person be jealous of the other’s mother and their perfectly healthy relationship?

Bem, conseguiste entrar numa outra esfera de ciúmes, passar um outro nível e, infelizmente, isso destruiu a nossa hipótese de felicidade.

Perdeu todo o controlo e baniu-me da sua vida, para sempre.

BS No.5 – Poor you, you were always the victim

A sério, fica velho depois de um tempo. Eu sabia exatamente quais seriam as tuas desculpas e que frases usarias depois de uma luta.

Sabia-as de cor porque era sempre a mesma história.

You were never guilty, it was always someone else’s fault and you just happened to be there to take the blame.

It’s impossible to believe that you’re such a saint while everyone around you is faulty in a way.

It’s even more impossible to believe that everyone else is stupid and wrong, only your opinion matters and only you are right.

C’mon… seriously?! That is a load of BS listed as No. 5 on my list which I’ve put up for such a long time but even that trace of love I had for you, the familiarity and warmth I used to feel around you couldn’t justify your behavior and your claims.

Tudo era demasiado.

BS No.6 – Your negativity drove me insane

It was impossible to ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life’, as sung in ‘Monty Python’, with you by my side.

It was always about negativity. All you could talk about were some insane conspiracy theories in which every scenario ended up the same—we were all going to die horrible deaths.

You know what?! I don’t give a shit! I’m going to die anyway.

Portanto, se Deus quisesse que eu morresse numa morte horrível, caótica, do tipo fim do mundo, que assim fosse!

I didn’t want to live my life in fear and regret something that might just happen but which you had no proof that it actually would.

A sua negatividade mudou-me todos os dias um pouco mais.

Essa treta ancorou-se no fundo da minha mente; à medida que se instalava no meu cérebro, comecei a ter medo dela.

Comecei a acreditar que todas as coisas que disseste iam acontecer.

BS No. 7 – You destroyed my hope of better days

Refiro-me a dias melhores contigo. A meio da nossa relação, eu ainda tinha esperança de que dias melhores ainda estavam para vir.

Needless to say, I couldn’t have been more wrong. That hope slowly vanished as you showed absolutely no intention of changing.

Not just that you refused to change, you didn’t even notice that you had a problem. It was so much easier to blame me or anyone else.

Era muito mais fácil fazer asneiras do que ser um homem, vestir um par e pôr a vida em ordem.

There you go… This is what you got for what you served.