Ela tem um namorado mas fala comigo todos os dias, o que é que eu faço?

“There’s a girl I know, and ela tem um namorado mas fala comigo todos os dias. What does it mean? Is she flirting with me? Does she like me? Should I go for it? What should I do?”

If a girl you know has a boyfriend, it doesn’t matter that she talks to you todos os dias. Even if you feel like she might have feelings for you, respect the fact that she’s in a relationship. Otherwise, someone will get hurt and, most likely, it’s you.

If you’re looking for encouragement to pursue a girl who’s in a relationship, then you’ve already made up your mind that she’s interested in you and that you don’t care about the fact that she’s not available.

But if you’re looking to understand the situation better and decide how to move ahead, then this article will give you plenty of food for thought.

Se ela tem um namorado mas fala comigo todos os dias, será que gosta de mim?

If she has a boyfriend but talks to you every single day, it doesn’t mean that she’s into you. Does she like you? She must if she likes talking to you. But it doesn’t have to mean that she likes tu como que.

Ou talvez ela goste de ti exatamente like that. But guess what? It doesn’t matter.

Se uma rapariga estiver numa relação, pare de pensar nela num sentido romântico, porque nada de bom sairá daí. A lot of things can go wrong, and in every outcome, you’ll get hurt.

So if your dilemma is, “She has a boyfriend but talks to me everyday, what should I do?” consider the basis of your relationship with this girl to decide what to do in this situation.

• You met her in a dating setting

If you’ve met her on a dating app or you approached her somewhere you go to meet people to get involved with, like a bar, then she’s having issues in her relationship and she’s looking to deal with them through someone else.

Instead of either fixing her relationship problems or ending it, she’s looking for someone to give her attention or someone to cheat with. She’ll use you and doesn’t care about you anyway.

If this is the case, you’re involved in a mess you should stay out of.

It absolutely doesn’t matter whether or not she likes you. She doesn’t know how to deal with a relationship in a healthy way, so even when her current boyfriend becomes her ex-boyfriend, there’s always going to be drama with this girl.

Se ela quer usar-te, então deixa de falar com ela. It’s best to let her and her boyfriend work through their issues without you.

• You know her casually

On the other hand, if you met this girl in a casual, non-romantic setting and she never implied that she’s interested in you, then you’re wrong to assume that she is.

If you know this girl from work or school, if she’s your neighbor or a friend of a friend, if you’ve met her online but not on a dating app, then you’re reading into things.

Mesmo que a tenha achado atraente e interessante desde a primeira vez que saíram juntos ou falaram um com o outro, unless she gives you clear confirmation that she’s interested in you, she’s just being sociable.

Don’t assume that her intentions are anything but friendly and that there’s algo because talking to her makes you feel good or you like her attention. If she wants to be your friend, she’ll open up to you but it doesn’t mean that she likes you.

As pessoas falam umas com as outras sobre os seus sentimentos, os seus gostos e desgostos e as suas esperanças e sonhos quando querem criar laços com alguém com quem querem ter uma relação romântica, mas também quando sentem uma ligação amigável.

Be her friend or cut off all contact. Don’t keep waiting for her to give you a sign.

RELACIONADO: Men And Women Can Never Be “Apenas amigos” (Or Can They?)

Porque é que ela se atira a mim se tem um namorado?

Before you can find the answer to this question, figure out if she’s actually flirting with you. Next, think about the consequences of getting involved with a girl who has a boyfriend.

Ela está mesmo a namoriscar contigo?

Here are some things to consider that will help you figure out if she’s flirting with you at all.

1. Estás a interpretar a simpatia dela?

Politeness and friendliness are often misconstrued as flirting, especially by people who don’t get attention from others. If you’re starved for attention and she’s showing you interest and kindness, thinking that she must like you wouldn’t be unexpected.

Also, sometimes people treat friendliness as suspicious or insincere. The more you encounter people who are only nice when they want something, the more likely you are to assume that everyone who’s friendly must want something.

2. Trata-se de uma ilusão?

How to tell that she’s flirting? If you like her, you might be reading into things.

Preste atenção à forma como ela fala consigo. Demonstra abertamente interesse ou limita-se a enviar-lhe mensagens de texto e a falar de coisas? Ela namorisca mesmo ou é apenas amigável? Por outras palavras, está a assumir coisas porque quer que elas sejam verdadeiras?

Wishful thinking is a dangerous habit. This isn’t a fun game between single people – she has let you know that she has a boyfriend because she had a reason to make it known. If she doesn’t explicitly let you know she’s interested, it’s best to assume that she isn’t.

3. Ela é uma pessoa amigável?

You might think that she’s giving you mixed signals and she’s playing hot and cold, but she might just be friendly.

Maybe you think that she flirts with you because she sees you in a romantic sense, but she’s just a flirty and charming person. People like that like to compliment others and make them feel good about themselves. They don’t mean anything by it.

It’s always safer to assume that she’s just being nice.

4. Ela aceita os seus avanços?

A girl who likes you only as a friend will shut down any actual moves you make. If the conversation turns personal and intimate, she’ll change the subject and talk about something more neutral.

If she just enjoys your company as a friend, like any other friend, she doesn’t want it to progress past that. She’ll be friendly but more restrained if she senses you may be looking for something more.

Her lack of interest is easy to misinterpret because a girl who cares for you as a friend doesn’t want to upset you by making you feel rejected if you let her know you like her.

RELACIONADO: Flertar é trair? 7 maneiras de ser infiel sem sequer o saber

If she’s flirting with you and you get involved

Se uma rapariga mostra abertamente interesse em si e aceita os seus avanços, deve continuar a namoriscar com ela ou avançar e tentar algo mais? A única resposta correcta aqui é não, mesmo que queira que seja sim, and here’s why.

1. She’s using you

So she’s flirting with you and making you believe that she’ll leave her boyfriend for you? Well, that’s a load of crap. The only thing that interests her about you is what she can get from you.

Se ela gostasse mesmo de ti e te quisesse, ela romper com ele sem vos fazer esperar. Even if she’s making you promises, don’t get involved in the mess.

She’s using you for validation because he’s not giving her enough attention or her relationship has grown unhappy and she’s using you to feel good about herself.

But guess what, it doesn’t matter why she’s flirting with you. Don’t look for explanations and possible reasons. What matters is that she’s not available. Respect the fact that she’s in a relationship even if she doesn’t.

2. You’ll get hurt

This isn’t a tricky situation. Se uma rapariga estiver a tentar enganá-lo, basta dizer não. Don’t think about whether she has relationship problems or try to find another reason why she’s talking to you. Whatever it is, it doesn’t have anything to do with you.

Flirting with a girl who has a boyfriend and planning to take it to the next level won’t give you the result you want: the two of you falling in love. She won’t leave him, get with you and you won’t live happily ever after.

However things turn out, it’s your heart on the line. Maybe you fall in love with her and she never leaves him. While you’re developing strong feelings, she’s just using you for attention.

Or she cheats on him with you and you get caught. Her boyfriend finds out the whole thing, you’re in trouble and she ends things with you the next day because she wants to stay with him.

Whatever happens, you’ll get hurt one way or another.

Devo deixar de falar com ela se ela tiver um namorado?

Not necessarily. If it’s just friendship, you don’t have to stop talking to her if you can accept that. What you should do is stop expecting something to happen and stop treating her as a potential girlfriend.

You can continue talking to her if you don’t hope you’ll be anything to her but a friend. If you want something more with her, stop projecting your feelings on her or thinking she’ll change her mind if you want to continue talking to her.

Stop trying to figure out what she means and don’t confuse her friendliness for interest. Unless she specifically makes it clear that she’s interested in you, accept that you have a casual friendly relationship, that you’re coworkers, or whatever your relationship is.

If she’s actually flirting with you, end things immediately. Block her number and social media and move on. Otherwise, you’ll be used, hurt and left alone.

O que devo fazer se uma rapariga de quem gosto tiver um namorado?

When a girl you like has a boyfriend, you must guard your heart. She’s with someone else, so the chances that she’ll feel the same are low. Getting your heart broken can happen easily.

O melhor que tens a fazer é dizer-lhe. Before you fall too deep, it’s best to know where you stand. If you really like this girl, tell her and be honest with her.

1. Se ela quer estar consigo, peça-lhe para acabar com o namorado

Em vez de se torturar a si próprio a tentar adivinhar se ela gosta de si, diga-lhe se tem sentimentos românticos por ela e peça-lhe que lhe dê uma resposta.

Seja direto e aberto. Tell her if you want to be with her and ask her to choose if she’s interested in you. Ask her out and accept her answer. If she likes you, she’ll pick you and break up with her boyfriend. Congratulations!

Qualquer outro resultado significa que deve deixá-la ir.

2. Se ela o rejeitar, deixe-a ir

If she says no, she means it. Accept that she has feelings for someone else and respect the fact that she’s in a relationship. Stop thinking you have a chance if she rejects you after you tell her.

Here’s what not to do:

• Don’t try to convince her to romper com ele. You won’t change your mind, you’ll only seem desperate.

• Don’t meddle in her relationship and try to find another way to be with her. Don’t be underhanded or try to make him seem bad to make yourself seem better. Don’t suggest an open relationship or another way to go behind his back.

• Don’t let her use you to cheat on him. If she’s unhappy in her relationship, don’t be a tool she uses to make herself feel better. Respect yourself by refusing to get involved in a physical or caso emocional.

• Don’t hold out hope that she’ll eventually leave him for you after some time passes or something happens. If things change and she’s single in the future, she might reach out to you, but you can’t know that. Move on instead of waiting for her to become single and recover from her previous relationship.

• Don’t think you can treat her better than her boyfriend. It’s up to her to decide who she wants to be with.

3. If you’re friends, accept it or move on

If she’s your friend, accept that or if you can’t be just friends, stop talking to her completely. Ela confia em si para ser sua amiga, por isso respeite os limites.

Are you best friends? Does she rely on you for emotional support? Don’t betray that by having a hidden agenda. Don’t be that guy who’s only friendly with a girl because he’s hoping she’ll be with him one day.

Friendzone isn’t a real thing. It’s something people who pretend to be friends with someone they’re attracted to tell themselves to feel superior. Don’t pose as her friend trying to get into her pants.

You’re supposed to be her friend, not wait to wear her down until she gets with you or ambush her in a moment of weakness. Ser um bom amigo ou deixar de ser amigo dela por completo.

If she’s unavailable, move on and focus on yourself. Become a better you than you were last year, last month or today and look for a girl who’s available and chooses you.

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Resumindo

If a girl is talking to you, she’s either romantically interested in you or she sees you as a friend. Either of those is fine if she’s single, but what about if she has a boyfriend?

If you’re wondering, “What should I do if she has a boyfriend but talks to me everyday?” you should assume that she’s being friendly unless she’s made it clear that she’s interested in you.

Don’t mistake her friendliness for interest. Take your relationship at face value and if she considers you a friend, don’t try to change things. It’s disrespectful and it will make her uncomfortable if she just wants to be friends.A girl who’s in a relationship might be interested in you, but if she were serious about you, she would break up with her boyfriend before making it known. If she flirts with you but doesn’t intend on leaving her boyfriend, she’s trying to have her cake and eat it too. Don’t let her use you and cheat with you.