Ele mandou uma mensagem depois do primeiro encontro, mas não mandou mais? Eis o que se passa
You both swiped right, talked for a while, then finally went out. The date was fun, there was a mention of the second date, he texted after dropping you off, then – nothing. Not a peep from this dude.
But tell me something: have you texted him? If you haven’t and you like the guy, what are you waiting for? If you have and he hasn’t replied, well, then keep reading.
Why would a guy give you the impression that he’s interested and then ghost you? The reasons might be more unremarkable than you’re hoping for. Here are all the possibilities why he texted after first date but not since.
13 razões pelas quais ele mandou uma mensagem depois do primeiro encontro, mas não desde então
You had a great date with a guy, and now he’s nowhere to be found – a tale as old as time; or Tinder, if you met online, which you probably did.
He sent a text after you parted ways and you thought it was a good sign that your next date was around the corner, but now you’re wondering why this guy is ghosting you.
If he texted after first date but not since, here’s what’s going on.
1. Ele tinha expectativas diferentes
Losing interest after a date is more common than you’d think. Before the date, we build a picture of the other person in our minds. Then we face the real deal, realizing reality doesn’t match our expectations – and we’re done.
Provavelmente falaste com esse tipo algumas vezes antes de saíres, e ambos criaram uma imagem de como a outra pessoa seria com base nessas poucas interacções. Thinking about this imaginary person – who fit your desires and was just your type – got you excited about the date.
Depois conhecem-se pessoalmente, mas o ser humano real nunca pode ser tão bom como a fantasia. No dia seguinte, a realidade instala-se e apercebemo-nos que a pessoa com quem saímos última noite não é nada como a figura idealizada que esperavas.
So here you have the most likely answer to your dilemma. He gave up because he realized after your date that you’re nothing like he imagined, especially if he’s talking to other girls, all of whom he’s building up in his head.
E tu? Gostas dele ou a ideia dele? Do you really like this guy you’ve met once so much that you’re letting his silence eat you up inside? You might only be wondering why he hasn’t texted again because of your bruised ego.
2. Ele decidiu não namorar consigo por outra razão
Once he’s had time to sleep on it and think about your date, he might have realized that you said or did something that he considers a red flag or you mentioned something that, to him, is a deal breaker in relationships.
Don’t take this personally. Everyone has their preferences and you can’t influence what someone considers important when it comes to dating. He might have just realized that you’re too incompatible to pursue a relationship.
Por outro lado, esta pode ser uma boa oportunidade para pensar se realmente fez algo que ele poderia razoavelmente ter interpretado como um sinal de alerta.
Of course, it’s as likely that it has nothing at all to do with you, but it doesn’t hurt to refletir sobre as suas palavras e acções from the date. Don’t overanalyze and obsess, but take a moment to think it through.
Seja honesta consigo própria porque, se houver alguma coisa, pode estar a fazê-lo também com outros homens e isso pode impedi-la de passar do primeiro encontro com outros homens no futuro. Se conseguir identificar o que poderia ter sido, pode trabalhar nisso e tornar a sua vida amorosa mais bem sucedida.
3. He realized he’s not as attracted as he thought
O comportamento dele, a linguagem corporal e as coisas que ele dizia davam-lhe a impressão de que as coisas podiam ir mais longe do que um encontro, mas depois nada?
Sometimes it takes a while to realize you’re not attracted enough to someone to make an effort. Se ele estava em cima do muro durante o vosso encontro e pouco depois, bastava-lhe dormir sobre o assunto para tomar uma decisão final sobre se gosta ou não de si o suficiente para avançar.
When someone you’re interested in doesn’t like you back, it can feel like a blow to the pride, but when you accept that it’s perfectly fine if not everyone likes you, it’s easy to get over it. Dating is all about discovering the people you’re most compatible with.
So don’t beat yourself up if the reason why he didn’t follow up is that he realized he was less attracted to you than he thought. Another person’s opinion has nothing to do with you. You don’t depend on anyone else to assure you of your worth because you know how valuable you are.
Besides, isn’t it better to know before you’ve developed serious feelings?
4. He’s dating someone else or he met someone new
If you’re both just dating and meeting new people, it’s safe to assume that you’re not the only girl he’s dating. (He’s probably not the only guy in your recents, either.)
Vocês só tomaram uns copos juntos, mas talvez os outros interesses românticos dele sejam mais sérios. Ou então ele gostou do vosso encontro, mas depois encontrou outra pessoa em quem estava mais interessado e concentrou-se nela.
Este foi o vosso primeiro encontro, mas talvez ele já tenha ido ao terceiro encontro com outra rapariga de quem gosta e ela tenha-lhe dito que também gosta dele. Talvez ele gosta de si mas começou a sair com outra pessoa because they’re more compatible.
Se havia uma mudança que ele esperava na sua relação com outra pessoa, pode ter decidido não sair consigo por razões que nada têm a ver consigo.
Your best choice in most of these situations is to forget about him and get in touch with another guy you’ve been texting. Quem sabe, talvez o teu próximo encontro seja com alguém de quem gostes muito mais.
5. Ele estava apenas a ser educado quando lhe enviou a mensagem
Se ele nunca planeou voltar a convidá-la para sair, porque é que lhe enviou uma mensagem depois do encontro? Ele pode ter sido apenas educado.
Mandou-te uma mensagem para saber como estavas, para ver se tinhas chegado bem a casa ou porque achava que era uma atitude cortês. It might have been a wrong move that got your hopes up for no reason, but maybe he didn’t look at it that way.
Ideally, we’d all always say what we mean and how we feel but of course, life doesn’t work that way. If he had been upfront with you and immediately told you that he wasn’t interested in anything, that would have hurt too.
A única coisa a fazer nesta situação é esquecer o assunto e seguir em frente.
6. A sua vida é demasiado ocupada
Muitas vezes, quando um gajo ignora-o mas gosta de si, it’s because he’s too busy. Look at your life and all the things you have going on – work, family, close friends, hobbies, obligations, stress, emergencies. No doubt it’s the same for him.
You might have placed more value on your date than he has or you’re dwelling on it because he didn’t follow up, but either way, look at your date in a larger context. An evening out with someone you’ve only met once can hardly become a priority if your life is hectic and there’s always something going on.
It’s annoying, I know, but instead of racking your brain about why he doesn’t text, focus on the more important things in your own life.
7. Ele tem problemas pessoais
A ton of personal issues affect romantic relationships and the decisions we make about the people we date. For example, maybe he just got out of a relationship and realized he’s not ready to date yet.
He might have mental health issues or poor self-esteem and became discouraged from dating because he’s not feeling good about himself. It’s also possible that he has medical problems that pushed dating into a low spot on his list of priorities.
If he has personal issues, it’s really impossible to know unless he shares them with you. Trying to figure out what’s happening won’t bring you closure but only occupy your time and sap your energy, so it’s best to just let it go.
8. He thinks you’re not interested
Maybe something about your date made him think that you’re not interested and this discouraged him from pursuing anything. If he’s assuming that you won’t accept a segundo encontro, he’s not even going to ask you.
A sua aparente falta de interesse está a fazer com que ele medo da rejeição, with good reason, so he’s avoiding contact to spare his feelings.
If he got the wrong impression, you could easily solve this problem by contacting him and giving him a clear sign that you’re interested. It depends on how much time has passed since you’ve last heard from him, but if you don’t think it’s too late, shoot him a text and assess the situation.
If he replies quickly and enthusiastically, then it’s likely that he didn’t text you because he believed you weren’t interested, so now’s your chance to prove him wrong.
9. Ele estava à espera que tomasse a iniciativa
Uma das razões mais comuns pelas quais um homem mostra-se interessado e depois recua é porque ele espera que tu dês o primeiro passo. Ele quer que você mostre um interesse ativo por ele, em vez de ficar à espera que ele faça tudo.
If you’re interested in this guy, then you won’t make things worse if you contact him. Texting him can change things for the better or leave them as they are, so you really have nothing to lose.
It depends on how much time has passed since you’ve last heard from him, but if you don’t think it’s too late, text him. If he replies, talk to him a bit and let him know that you want to spend time with him. Se ele parecer recetivo, tu perguntar ele fora.
He might say no and you’re right where you started, so no biggie. If he says yes, you have another chance to let him know that you’re interested in him, this time with added eye contact.
10. He doesn’t like talking to you
The dynamic of your text conversations with someone you’re interested in matters more than you’d think. Ask yourself, who initiated most of your conversations? Who was keeping the conversation going?
Lots of girls expect guys to convince them to go out with them, so they don’t even try. If you’re the type who waits for the guy to do everything, then he might be tired of talking to you.
If he’s initiating texting and you expect him to keep them alive, then you make him feel like it’s all up to him. This makes your conversations difficult and exhausting for him, so he doesn’t want to do it anymore.
Como é que foi o vosso encontro? Ele ainda estava a conduzir a conversa? Fazia perguntas, mostrava interesse, iniciava temas? Like everyone else, he wants someone who’ll show him they like his company and want to get to know him.
Por isso, se este for o seu caso, aprenda com ele para o próximo encontro com o próximo rapaz e mostre mais interesse e iniciativa para fazer com que um rapaz se sinta bem em passar tempo consigo.
11. Ele nunca esteve realmente interessado
Isto pode ser difícil de engolir, mas se pensarmos bem, sabemos que coisas como esta acontecem. You’re talking to someone, and you don’t dislike them, but you also don’t like them enough to date them.
Envia-lhes mensagens de texto só porque sim e conversa mesmo que não tenha qualquer intenção de prosseguir. Pode ser que falem de algo interessante ou que esteja aborrecido, por isso continua a falar com eles
Depois, vai-se a um encontro na esperança de que haja uma faísca, ou por nenhuma razão em particular, e, claro, não acontece nada. The date goes okay, but there’s no sudden magic or love at first sight.
You text again out of habit or because you’re not thinking, then immediately regret it because you decide that you don’t have any interest in this person at all.
This might seem cruel when it happens to you, but it’s very common and rarely done with bad intentions. It’s one of those things people do and can’t explain why.
But I bet you didn’t have any deep feelings for him, either.
12. Ele estava à procura de validação
Alguns homens necessitam de atenção feminina constante to feel good about themselves, so they surround themselves with women who’ll give it to them. They’re never serious about those women and they rarely go beyond dating or casual sex.
Guys like this don’t feel good about themselves and are always looking for external validation, so the only thing he wanted from you was to show him that you’re interested in him. You were just another one in the line of girls he needed to feed his fragile ego.
Se ele não tem auto-confiança, a atenção constante é o que lhe dá a certeza do seu valor. A sua necessidade de validação pode ser uma bandeira vermelha e pode ter estado a lidar com um narcisista, por isso, se ele a deixou ir antes de ser arrastada para os seus esquemas, considere-se sortuda.
13. Ele estava a brincar consigo
You can’t rule out the possibility that he was brincar consigo. Maybe he was hoping for something physical after your date, and when it didn’t come, he lost interest. If you did have sex with him, then he got what he wanted, said goodbye and that’s it.
Os jogadores são todos festa com o maior número possível de mulheres e ter um fornecimento constante de novas raparigas para os entreter. They move on quickly, no matter what you’re like and how you act. A player will drop you as soon as he realizes that you’re not on the same page or that you are.
Guys like this are best avoided. But even if you don’t spot what he’s like in time, you can still get out of it fairly unscathed if you let it go and don’t dwell. Don’t chase him or try to change him because it has no chance of working.
O que fazer se ele mandou uma mensagem depois do primeiro encontro, mas não mandou mais?
Siga em frente. Fique contente por isto ter acontecido antes de ter investido e por os danos terem sido mínimos. You didn’t miss out on your amor verdadeiroconfia em mim. De facto, a única coisa que foi ferida foi o seu ego.
If you still need some comfort, think back to a time when you didn’t even notice that you ghosted a guy because he was just so meh, and meanwhile, he was probably waiting for you to contact him.
I’m not saying that this is what happened here, only that it’s possible to look at things from more than one point of view. Just accept that he wasn’t interested enough and seguir em frente sem arrependimentos.
Em vez disso, pense no seu encontro com ele como uma noite divertida que não tem qualquer significado especial, mas que foi uma forma agradável de passar o tempo.
Raparigas e guys flirt when they’re not interestedOs homens prometem encontros e nunca os cumprem. É o que acontece no mundo dos encontros modernos. Não tem nada a ver consigo, por isso deixe de se preocupar.
It doesn’t matter why he isn’t texting. Take care of yourself and live your own life. Deixe-o ir e deixe de desperdiçar a sua energia a perguntar-se porquê. Worrying about it is a burden you don’t need because it’s so insignificant.
No encerramento
“I had a great time last night,” he said, and you believed him. You went out, he texted after first date but not since, so what gives? There are several possible reasons why he’s ghosting you, but three are the most likely.
Primeiro, ele pode ter percebido depois do encontro que he wasn’t as interested as he thought because you didn’t click. Next, he decided against dating you because he realized that you’re incompatible. Finalmente, ele pode ser demasiado ocupado Seja qual for a razão, tens de esquecer isso. Don’t torture yourself over a guy you went on one date with. Go live your life instead of wondering why some guy’s text is nowhere to be found.
