Se ele age assim, então sabes que ele não te ama

Acorda. Vivemos num mundo onde, na maioria dos casos, dizer "amo-te" a alguém perdeu o seu significado original.

Estas três palavras tornaram-se a ferramenta de manipulação para mentir a si próprio e aos outros devido à falta de coragem ou à falta de vontade de lidar com questões subjacentes.

Those three words have become something everyone expects to hear even if they’re not ready to reciprocate. ‘I love you’ is often followed by overthinking because you live in a world where you can’t trust anyone, and sometimes, not even yourself.

Então, como é que se sabe se um homem ainda nos ama?

O facto de ele repetir essas três palavras o tempo todo é considerado uma declaração de amor legítima? Ou há mais do que isso?

Wake up again. If a man tells you that he loves you, this doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s true. The truth is, anyone can express their love for you with the most inspiring words, but are they willing to also show it to you?

Isto leva-nos à última hipótese: Um homem que esteja genuinamente apaixonado por si fará questão de o provar com as suas acções e não apenas com as suas palavras.

“You should never have to look for evidence that someone loves you. True love is crystal clear.” – Mandy Hale

Se alguém me tivesse dito isto há uns anos atrás, ter-me-ia literalmente salvo a vida. Eu estava numa relação tóxica em que me convenci de que era amada. Encontrar desculpas para o comportamento dele tinha-se tornado uma verdadeira arte.

I was surprised by my level of patience and ability to turn every single negative thought into a potential declaration of his love for me, but after some time, I decided to wake up from this “sleepwalking romance” and face the truth.

Queria desesperadamente encontrar uma prova verdadeira do seu amor por mim, porque estava farta de pensar demais.

Então, pensei para mim próprio: Responde-me sempre às mensagens, o que é bom. De vez em quando, surpreende-me com gestos românticos.

Still, when I want to talk about my problems, he suddenly becomes too busy to listen to me. Maybe, he is busy after all, but MAYBE, I’ve become a pro at finding excuses for his shitty behavior.

Quanto mais pensava em tudo isto, menos tinha a certeza dos seus sentimentos por mim. E, então, ocorreu-me!

Aquela vozinha dentro da minha cabeça sussurrou-me:

Girl, if he really loved you, you wouldn’t overthink it and you wouldn’t waste your time looking for evidence that he loves you. Instead, you would enjoy consuming and being intoxicated by your love.

Truer words have never been spoken. The first and the most important lesson you’ll learn today is that true love is crystal clear and there’s no need for you to keep questioning it or looking for evidence that he loves you.

If you have to overthink it or question it, then you know something’s fishy and it’s not worthy of your time nor your nerves. This rule is applicable in every situation, not just love life.

If you need to play detective when dating or in a relationship, then you know something’s not right

Whenever women start suspecting their man’s feelings or other things, they immediately enter detective mode. I’m talking about the following case scenarios:

• A seguir todos os seus passos nas redes sociais.
• Perguntando-lhe constantemente sobre o seu paradeiro.
• À procura de pistas clichés de infidelidade, como batom vermelho no colarinho.
• Reading one too many articles on “Does he love me?”
• Análise de dados.
• Pensar demasiado.
• Ligar os pontos.
• Repetir todo o processo.

I daresay that every woman was born with detective skills that become activated once she starts questioning her man’s intentions. We go so far that we even start questioning his close people, coworkers, friends, and family.

Playing detective can sometimes be fun, but in most cases, it’s tiring. It’s the biggest red flag that something’s not right, and you have every right to question your man’s feelings for you (or lack thereof).

Por vezes, as mulheres vão tão longe na sua análise de detetive que se esquecem de prestar atenção às pistas que estiveram sempre à sua frente.

Preste atenção a alguns dos maiores signs he doesn’t love you anymore and you’ll find out the truth:

• Falta de comunicação.
• Ele não estar envolvido na tua vida.
• Comportamento secreto.
• Ser demasiado protetor do seu telemóvel.
• Comparando-a com outras mulheres.

Regardless of whether you’re dating or in a relationship, know that communication is everything.

Ele ouve-o com atenção quando fala? Lembra-se das pequenas coisas e dos pormenores que partilha com ele? Esforça-se por si próprio sem que seja necessário recordar-lhe isso?

Se sim, então sabe que ele a ama verdadeiramente. Se não, então esta é uma das mais dolorosas mas sure-fire signs he doesn’t care about you.

A man who doesn’t love you or care about you will never run out of excuses for his shitty behavior

I’m sure you’re familiar with all this.

When you acknowledge his low-effort attempts to make you feel special, he tells you that he’s not really himself lately because of his job, friends, family issues, or any other issue that is preventing him from fully committing to you.

When you start questioning his intentions or his feelings for you, he tells you that you’re overreacting and overthinking.

When you try to talk to him about how you’re feeling regarding all this, he tells you that he doesn’t have time for that and that there’s nothing you should worry about because everything is fine.

A man who doesn’t love you or care about you will do everything in his power to postpone having an open and honest conversation with you because you’re no longer his priority.

He will only be focused on things happening in his life, and he will come back to you only when it’s convenient for him.

He won’t shower you with his attention, gifts, or unconditional love. He won’t even reply to your texts or answer your calls if he doesn’t feel like it.

A man who doesn’t love you or care about you will only be focused on making himself happy.

Ele deixará de reparar nos seus hábitos estranhos, imperfeições e traços positivos que costumava gostar em si. Em vez disso, vai criticá-la por ser quem é.

It’s what men do when they no longer love you. They literally wake up one morning with Alzheimers, forget that you even exist, and decide to ignore your every need.

Se a sua felicidade já não faz parte da lista de prioridades dele, então sabe que algo mudou. O amor dele por si diminuiu gradualmente, transformou-se em desculpas e depois desapareceu no ar.

Eu sei como é sentir-se amar alguém que nunca nos amará de volta. Sei como é ver o amor incondicional que se costumava ter transformar-se em algo que já não se reconhece.

If this is the case with you, then it’s high time you protect yourself from yourself. It’s time to wake up and read the following statement over and over again until it becomes a part of you:

Um homem que se preocupa verdadeiramente contigo e te ama fará questão de te mostrar isso

To be honest, it’s relatively easy to spot the signs of a man who no longer loves you, but the complication arises due to our overthinking. You probably already know the truth, but you’re here to confirm your hypothesis.

Or, you know the truth, but you want someone to tell you that you’re in a bad dream, overthinking it, and that in a few days, you’ll wake up and forget that all this happened (because it didn’t).

Here’s the thing:

You’re not in a bad dream.

There’s nothing wrong with you.

It’s not the end of the world if he doesn’t love you.

It’s not your fault.

Tudo acontece por uma razão.

Lembre-se de que um homem que a ama genuinamente fará SEMPRE questão de lhe provar isso com as suas acções. Ele não vai jogar jogos, inventar desculpas ou fazer qualquer uma dessas coisas sorrateiras dos encontros modernos.

A man who truly loves you will tell you exactly how he feels about you, and you will see it in his eyes that he’s telling the truth. Also, he will make damn sure to prove all that with his actions

A man who truly loves you won’t have time to make you question things because he will be too busy finding new ways to make you feel loved!

Yes, girl! You’ve been stuck in your sleepwalking all this time and you have forgotten the basic thing about love. Love never stagnates, but it constantly evolves. Love doesn’t beg, but it’s reciprocal.

If you’re still not sure if he truly loves you or not, just ask yourself the following questions:

O amor dele por si é constante e óbvio ou tem de o procurar, implorar e esperar por ele? Sente-se feliz com ele? Se não for, a sua felicidade é algo que possa dizer ao seu parceiro?