Estou farto de lutar por alguém que não luta por mim

I wish I could say that I hate you. I wish I could say that my love faded away and that I’m done because we both feel like it. But my love is still as strong for you as it was the first day. I still love you with all of my heart, with all of these broken pieces you made.

I wish I could say that we parted ways, but I don’t think we ever connected them in the first place. Now that I look back, I wonder whether there was a time you ever really loved me.

Então, este sou eu. Finalmente a ver-te como és.

My heart refused to accept the truth that you don’t love me. That you don’t love us. My heart wanted to believe that you are o único , because you were. It’s just that I’m not the one for you. So, I fought so hard to keep us safe. I fought till I lost my breath just so we could make it work.

Giving up on you, giving up on us was something I refused to think about. It was never an option because you were my only choice. You were the one that made me feel like I’m the happiest woman alive, so I forgot about the days I felt miserable.

Eras tu que fazias o meu coração acelerar, por isso esqueci-me dos dias em que o partias. Eras tu que me fazias sentir tão bem que me esquecia dos dias em que me fazias sentir inútil.

E eu fui sempre a que mais se preocupou. A que lutou, a que se sacrificou por nós. Passei dias a tentar pôr-me no teu lugar, a tentar compreender-te. Passei meses a pensar no que poderia fazer para nos fazer funcionar. E quando partiste, passei eternidades a pensar quando voltarias. Mas nunca voltaste.

Então, este sou eu. Finalmente a ver o que éramos.

Deixar-vos ir was the hardest thing I ever did. Letting go of us was one sacrifice I wasn’t ready to make because it meant that I had to look back. It meant that I had to see us the way we were, not the version of us my heart decided to see.

My stupid, silly heart. So, you did it for me. You let go of us, you just walked away. One day, you just decided that you don’t want me in your life anymore. You decided that I was too much to handle, not seeing that I was the one that held you in one piece while life tore you down.

Que fui eu que fiz com que tivesses uma luz nos teus dias mais negros. Eu fui o único que levou toda a tua dor, mas nem uma vez te perguntaste para onde foi. Nem uma vez percebeste que eu sofria por ti e por tua causa. Nem uma vez olhaste para trás, para nós.

Então, este sou eu. Finalmente a ver-me.

I don’t want to thank you for the lessons you taught me. I don’t want to thank you for being the worst before my best. Because I’m my own best. I’m my own lesson. I’m my own blessing after you were my curse.

The only thing I will ever thank you for is for staying true to yourself. Because it wasn’t until the loneliness hit me and drowned me down in pain, that I realized you were never there.

Estavas sentado ao meu lado e eu estava sozinha. Estavas a dormir na minha cama e eu estava a morrer de frio. Estavas lá, mas não para mim. E demorei muito tempo para te ver como és, para nos ver como éramos.

To see that I was the only one loving and fighting. To see that I was stuck in a one-sided relationship, thinking it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.

Então, este sou eu. Finalmente afastando-se.

You want me back. You want us back. You’re saying that you can make us work—making promises you can’t keep and vows you don’t respect. But I’m done fighting for someone who never fought for me. For someone who will never fight for anyone but himself. I’m done fighting for you.