Finalmente, sou suficientemente corajoso para dizer que era demasiado bom para ti

Ele é que perde!

Vá lá, anima-te. Ainda há muito peixe no mar.

É demasiado bom para ele de qualquer forma!

Estou?

I didn’t see you broken like I was. I didn’t see you losing your posture even for a second when you were breaking things off. When you were telling me how I was holding you back. When you were telling me how I had changed, how I was not myself lately.

Na altura, parecia que tinhas razão. Na altura, acreditei que eras demasiado bom para mim e que eu não merecia mais do que ser deitada fora como um tapete velho.

Na altura, acreditava que merecia ser destruída.

But…

God, how I love this ‘but’.

But not anymore. It’s been months of me pitying myself, of me hating every single part of me, of hating my body and my mind, thinking that they drove you away. It’s been months with me trying to find the sense in why you left.

Was it because I was so tired lately? Was it because I couldn’t keep up with your never-ending thirst for adventure? Was it because I was not pretty anymore?

Meses em que me recusei a deixar alguém entrar, porque eles iriam embora de qualquer maneira. Meses em que pensei que toda a gente me queria apanhar, que toda a gente me queria fazer mal e que, agora que te tinhas ido embora, não tinha ninguém para me proteger.

Meses a esconder-me dentro do paredes que construí para manter toda a gente do lado de fora, mas apercebi-me demasiado tarde de que me tinha fechado.

I still can’t believe how well you did your job. I still can’t believe that I was so blind to see what you were doing. Thinking that you loved me, I gave you all of me.

Pensando que estavas a tentar manter-me em segurança, baixei a minha guarda em relação a ti e coloquei-a contra todos os outros. Afastei os meus amigos e a minha família, pensando que tu eras tudo o que eu precisava.

Boy, was I wrong…

Quero felicitá-lo por me ter manipulado tão bem que nunca o vi a acontecer. Quero dar-te os parabéns por me teres despido de todas as minhas forças, sem que eu me apercebesse e quero dar-te os parabéns por teres perdido uma rapariga que queria ser tua. Por perderes alguém que realmente se importava contigo.

Mas tal como eu era cega para ver as tuas manipulações, tu eras demasiado cego para ver o meu valor. Só vias o que precisavas e isso era apenas mais uma vítima dos teus jogos.

And while I was blinded by love, you were blinded by your hatred, your pain and old scars. But even though I wasn’t the one who caused them, I was the one who paid the price for every single one of them.

Por cada vez que foste enganado, fizeste-o a mim.

Por cada vez que te sentias menos digno, fazias-me sentir uma merda.

Por cada vez que te faltou o amor, fizeste-me sentir não amável.

But I don’t care. Not anymore. You were nothing more than just another lesson in my life and you leaving was just another test I aced.

Tive as minhas dificuldades e demorou algum tempo, mas ultrapassei-te, ultrapassei todo o inferno que me fizeste passar and now I’m happier than I ever believed I could be.

I’m braver than I ever was, because I let people in. I gave away parts of me once again but this time I gave them to the right people.

This time my heart is safe because it’s guarded by people who never gave up on me, by people who patiently waited for me to come around, who waited for me to ask them for help.

And I don’t know what I did to deserve them, what I did to have their unconditional love, but I’m so glad I have them. So grateful to have those who will always remind me of my worth, who will always remind me of my courage, my skills and my strength.

I’m so grateful for having those who will always remind me that I was too good for you anyway.

E finalmente, eu também estou a ver.

Finally, I’m bold enough to say it.

De qualquer forma, eu era demasiado bom para ti!