9 Formas alarmantes de ceder o seu poder quando se apaixona

Como é que se pode dar o coração sem perder o poder e sem perder a pessoa que se é por dentro? 

Com um grande amor vêm grandes erros e nós tendemos a cometer demasiados. Colocamos essa pessoa especial num pedestal e esquecemo-nos de que somos iguais a ela. 

Yes equality – something all healthy relationships should be based upon. It means that both partners’ interests and desires should be respected. That’s the only way you should behave if you want your relationship to work.

Não ceder o seu poder numa relação é uma caraterística das pessoas mentalmente fortes. Elas sabem o quão importante é o seu poder e o quanto isso afecta a sua autoestima.

If you give someone else your power, it means that you’re giving them the ability to control your life. That you’ll let that person make all the important decisions for you.

Tudo começa a girar em torno do seu parceiro e ele torna-se o centro do seu universo. Esquece-se das suas próprias necessidades e desejos.

Eventualmente, you’ll lose yourself in that relationship, and there is nothing worse than that. You’ll let your partner cross boundaries and that will lead you to lose your identity in a relationship.

1. Your partner always gets to decide what you’ll do

If you always let your partner choose what and where you eat, and what you do at the weekend, they’ll start thinking that it’s okay for them to decide who you can hang out with, too.

You don’t want to cause a fight and that’s why you start compromising over everything. Of course, you have your own desires, but you don’t want to confront your loved one.

2. You are afraid to speak up when you don’t agree with them

We are all different and it’s perfectly normal to have different views and opinions about some certain things.

The thing is that we should all have an understanding of our partner’s opinion and we have to respect it, even if it’s absolutely different from ours and we think that it’s wrong.

However, you are afraid to confront your partner and tell them that you don’t agree with them.

You’re afraid that they might leave you and that’s why you prefer to keep quiet and behave as if you agree with your partner about everything.

3. Pedes desculpa mais do que devias

It’s okay to apologize when you’ve done something wrong. But, apologizing after every fight will only make you feel desperate.

You feel the need to apologize even when you haven’t done anything. Be careful, I know that you think that you are doing it to keep the person you love, but you might end up hurt and used.  

4. Cancela sempre os seus planos para eles

You had lots of friends and you liked hanging out with them whenever you could. Now, you only have a few friends left – the others have stopped talking to you because you stood them up too many times.

You don’t respect anyone but your partner. You think that he is the only person who is important in your life. You have no idea how wrong you are. One day, when he gets bored, he’ll leave.

5. Esperas sempre pela sua autorização para fazer alguma coisa

It seems like you can’t do anything by yourself anymore.

É necessário telefonar-lhe before you decide to do something. When you start behaving like this – asking for your partner’s permission to do things – you outsource your power.

6. You can’t say NO to them

You think that less disagreement and less conflict are good for your relationship and that’s why you don’t want to say ‘no’ to your partner.

Se comprometer-se sempre about everything, then you’ll never feel comfortable in a relationship. If you aren’t okay with something, if you don’t agree with your partner about something, then you have to tell them.

7. Tolera o seu mau comportamento

If you’re constantly tolerating their bad behavior, they might start thinking that you are okay with it. Remember, you teach others how to treat you. If you let them treat you poorly, they will.

8. Coloca constantemente as necessidades deles à frente das suas

Your partner should always be able to lean on you and you have to support them. However, your needs should be as important as your partner’s.

No relationship will ever be able to function if both partners are continuously putting their needs first. Remember, it’s all about equality.

9. Está a contentar-se com menos do que merece

Love is making you blind. You’ve forgotten how much you are worth and what you deserve.

You’re settling for less than you deserve because the only thing important for you is to keep the person you love.

You will never save your relationship by changing who you are. You have to believe that you are mentally strong enough not to give your power to your partner when you’re in a relationship.

Estabelecer limites firmes and never let anyone, no matter how much you love them, cross those lines. Those boundaries will protect your integrity in a relationship, and it’s the most important thing you can do.