Se achas que a tua relação acabou por tua causa, lê isto
As separações nunca são fáceis, mas quando sabemos que o outro lado é o culpado e que, apesar do que sentimos, sabemos que estamos melhor sem ele, isso acalma-nos a mente.
But, when we know we are the ones to blame, it’s a whole different story. Our wounds and pain are deepened by the feeling of guilt that consumes us.
Para mim, a parte mais difícil foi aceitar que a culpa do fim de tudo era minha. Fui eu que fiz asneira. Fui eu que fui demasiado pegajoso e demasiado ciumento, e basicamente sufoquei a nossa relação.
Esta confusão na minha cabeça magoou-nos aos dois.
Demorei muito tempo a aceitar o facto de que tinha acabado para sempre e que, em grande parte, isso se devia a mim. Mas seja qual for a razão da sua separação, saiba também que são precisos dois para manter uma relação, assim como são precisos dois para a estragar.
When it comes to love wrecks, nothing is ever black or white. And I am not saying that to justify myself or anyone else in a similar situation. It’s just the reality of things.
Tenho plena consciência de onde errei e paguei por isso com lágrimas, um coração partido e noites sem dormir. Mas também aprendi muito. Toda esta experiência fez-me crescer como pessoa.
You see, time gives you clarity, and once I took a step back, I realized that there was a reason I unconsciously sabotaged my relationship: it wasn’t going to last anyway, and I just kept on fooling myself.
I wasn’t ready for the relationship I was in because I came into it carrying baggage from my last relationship. I was filled with trust issues and insecurities, and I just couldn’t shake them off so easily.
On the other hand, he couldn’t understand me. He couldn’t understand what I had gone through and why I behaved the way I did. I don’t blame him for that, though. It wasn’t his job to heal me and make me happy. That was always in my hands. I just didn’t realize that at the time.
That’s why I am trying to do that now. I am rebuilding my life brick by brick. I am learning to love myself. I am learning to depend on myself. I am learning to forgive myself.
I kept on wishing to turn back time and do everything differently. Sadly, that can’t be done. That’s why I did the only thing that was left for me to do. I made peace with the situation. I accepted that the damage can’t be undone.
Still, I wanted him to know that I am sorry. I wanted him to know that I know now what I didn’t know back then and that my intention wasn’t to hurt him. It was good to get that off my chest.
Don’t wait too long to say you are sorry. It won’t fix anything, but it will benefit you, and it will let other people know that you care for their feelings.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. We all screw up from time to time. We are only human, and mistakes are the ones that make us grow. Learn from them; don’t be their prisoner.
No fim, tudo vai ficar bem, juro. Só tens de ver o lado positivo por baixo de todas essas nuvens negras que estão por cima de ti.
Seja o que for que tenhas feito, perdoa-te a ti próprio. Dê a si próprio a oportunidade de corrigir o que fez. Crie uma vida de que se orgulhe. Trabalhar em si próprio, by yourself for yourself, and make sure you don’t make the same mistakes next time around.
And there will be a next time; don’t doubt that for a second. So start the work immediately and be the best version of yourself.
