Si crees que tu relación terminó por tu culpa, lee esto

Las rupturas nunca son fáciles, pero cuando sabemos que la otra parte es la culpable y que, a pesar de lo que sentimos, sabemos que estamos mejor sin ella, nos tranquiliza.

But, when we know we are the ones to blame, it’s a whole different story. Our wounds and pain are deepened by the feeling of guilt that consumes us.

Para mí, lo más difícil fue aceptar que fue culpa mía que todo acabara así. Fui yo quien metió la pata. Yo fui quien demasiado pegajoso y demasiado celosa, y básicamente asfixié nuestra relación.

Este lío en mi cabeza nos hizo daño a los dos.

Tardé mucho tiempo en aceptar que se había acabado para siempre y que, en gran parte, era por mi culpa. Pero sea cual sea el motivo de tu ruptura, debes saber también que se necesitan dos para mantener una relación, así como se necesitan dos para arruinarla.

When it comes to love wrecks, nothing is ever black or white. And I am not saying that to justify myself or anyone else in a similar situation. It’s just the reality of things.

Soy plenamente consciente de dónde me equivoqué, y lo pagué con lágrimas, un corazón roto y noches sin dormir. Pero también aprendí mucho. Toda la experiencia me hizo crecer como persona.

You see, time gives you clarity, and once I took a step back, I realized that there was a reason I unconsciously sabotaged my relationship: it wasn’t going to last anyway, and I just kept on fooling myself.

I wasn’t ready for the relationship I was in because I came into it carrying baggage from my last relationship. I was filled with trust issues and insecurities, and I just couldn’t shake them off so easily.

On the other hand, he couldn’t understand me. He couldn’t understand what I had gone through and why I behaved the way I did. I don’t blame him for that, though. It wasn’t his job to heal me and make me happy. That was always in my hands. I just didn’t realize that at the time.  

That’s why I am trying to do that now. I am rebuilding my life brick by brick. I am learning to love myself. I am learning to depend on myself.  I am learning to forgive myself.

I kept on wishing to turn back time and do everything differently. Sadly, that can’t be done. That’s why I did the only thing that was left for me to do. I made peace with the situation. I accepted that the damage can’t be undone.

Still, I wanted him to know that I am sorry. I wanted him to know that I know now what I didn’t know back then and that my intention wasn’t to hurt him. It was good to get that off my chest.

Don’t wait too long to say you are sorry. It won’t fix anything, but it will benefit you, and it will let other people know that you care for their feelings.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. We all screw up from time to time. We are only human, and mistakes are the ones that make us grow. Learn from them; don’t be their prisoner.

Al final todo saldrá bien, te lo juro. Solo tienes que ver el lado bueno debajo de todas esas nubes negras que tienes encima.

Sea lo que sea lo que hayas hecho, perdónate. Date la oportunidad de enmendarlo. Crea una vida de la que te sientas orgulloso. Trabaja en ti mismo, by yourself for yourself, and make sure you don’t make the same mistakes next time around.

And there will be a next time; don’t doubt that for a second. So start the work immediately and be the best version of yourself.