If you feel trapped in an unhealthy relationship – as if you’ve lost yourself at some point, somewhere and are forever changed because of it – chances are your partner is emotionally abusive and é preciso sair. Even if you can’t quite pinpoint what’s wrong, but you feel sad, irritable, tired, or despondent most of the time, especially when around this person, freeing yourself from the situation you’re in could make a world of difference.

Here are some signs you’re in an emotionally toxic relationship:

O seu parceiro insulta-o.

Everyone is human. We all make mistakes. However, we should feel like we can talk about the mistakes we’ve made with our partner without worrying that he’ll only make us feel worse about them. Relações saudáveis são constituídos por parceiros que se encorajam mutuamente, especially during difficult times. If you lose your job, for example, your partner should console you and help you to feel confident, not tell you he told you so, it’s for the best, or remind you that you never felt secure in that position, anyway.

O seu parceiro insulta-o à frente dos outros.

It’s difficult to be in a partnership in which your significant other insists on degrading you behind closed doors. It’s especially difficult if this demeaning behavior continues, or even gets worse, when you’re around others. If you’re hosting a large gathering, chances are you’re going to be nervous and triple-check that you’ve planned properly. You shouldn’t have to worry about your partner rolling his eyes and saying, “She always does this,” if you’ve forgotten something. Again, o seu companheiro deve estar na sua equipa e tentar acalmar os nervos, não piorar as coisas.

You never feel like you’re good enough.

No matter how much you do, you never feel like you can do enough to please your partner. Even when you’re certain you’ve remembered all that is expected of you, he continues to put you down. All too often, o teu parceiro faz-te sentir insignificante. As first, it may be instinctual to try and outdo these expectations in an almost subconscious attempt to receive some sort of positive reinforcement. But, pretty soon, after your ego is deflated time and again, it’s common to begin believing it’s better to stay out of your mate’s way altogether than try to be everything he’s looking for.

Sente-se totalmente desconsiderado.

No início da relação, pode ter sentido que a sua opinião era importante e que o seu parceiro levava a peito tudo o que tinha para dizer. Por outras palavras, a sua opinião era igual na relação e era-lhe permitido ter uma opinião diferente da dele. If you didn’t like something he was doing, you could express your discontentment and the behavior would stop. Now, the fact that you are an individual doesn’t seem to matter to him anymore at all. Whenever you express an opinion that’s different from his, it’s like it goes in one ear and out the other and he continues on as if you had said nothing at all. If you disapprove of something that’s happening or something your mate is doing and verbalize this, the behavior continues. He may shrug his shoulders and simply tell you to leave if you don’t like it. It’s his way or the highway.

Sente-se que tem de se esconder.

Physically, mentally, or emotionally. You feel like you can’t tell your partner anything anymore. You can’t do enough for him. Tudo o que diz ou faz é errado e, por isso, começa a isolar-se e a retirar-se. You stop telling him things. You stop doing things. You even stop coming home altogether. You feel more comfortable when he’s away than when he’s with you. You’d much rather be alone.

Deixamos de falar da relação com os outros.

Because you’re so miserable inside, you feel like you have nothing good to say about it, anyway. And, you avoid conversation about your partnership. This is particularly common if you feel ‘trapped’ or unable to leave. Maybe you’ve made the decision to go down with a sinking ship. This could be because you two have kids, or because you don’t have any friends or family nearby or the finances to leave. Whatever the case, if you feel stuck, you may begin to feel doomed to a life of misery with your partner. When this happens, often, as a defense mechanism, evitamos falar com alguém sobre o que nos está a acontecere we even shrug off comments from loved ones that our relationship is unhealthy, insisting everything’s fine.

Já nada importa.

You’ve lost total interest in nearly everything that once made you happy. You don’t want to do anything social. You don’t want to see your friends or family, play the sports you once enjoyed, work out, or go to work. You’d rather stay in bed, be alone, take a nap.

If your relationship has brought you to a point in which nothing matters anymore – you’re isolated from those you love, you’ve discontinued pursuing activities that were once important to you, you feel tired, bored or incapable of thinking clearly all the time – é preciso sair. This is a sign that you are experiencing clinical depression. Toxic relationships can easily bring us to this point if we let them, and while it may seem as if you have no way out of the funk you’re in, you do.

Saiam e procurem ajuda! A felicidade está à tua espera do outro lado!