Marido dominante: 10 maneiras de ser o alfa no seu casamento

Quando se pesquisa no Google as palavras relação D/S (que significa relação dominante-submissa), a primeira associação que lhe ocorre é provavelmente a de uma pessoa a dominar a outra no quarto.

No entanto, o domínio no casamento é muito mais do que o domínio debaixo dos lençóis.

Na verdade, isso significa muitas coisas, mas o mais importante é que uma pessoa na relação tem mais controlo do que a outra.

When we’re talking about the dominant husband, it means that he is the one who is in charge, the one who makes all the decisions, and the one who is listened to.

It means the husband wears the pants and is the head of the household—just like it was in the old days; that his attitudes and points of view are respected and obeyed, without further questioning.

However, a D/S relationship is in no way an abusive relationship, and it doesn’t mean that men get all the privileges.

Em vez disso, é um trabalho a tempo inteiro que acarreta mais responsabilidades do que se possa pensar.

It means that the man is the provider, the protector, the one who takes care of the woman and of the entire family, and that he is the one who carries all the life’s weight on his shoulders alone.

One of the famous dominant husband quotes says: “A truly submissive woman is to be treasured, cherished, and protected for it is only she who can give a man the gift of dominance.”—Anne Decals.

Contrary to feminist point of views, even today, more women than you might imagine would like to be submissive and dream of paying attention to their husband’s needs and making sure he is satisfied.

Muitos procuram um parceiro de vida que tenha o que é preciso para os dominar e que lhes permita ser um esposa submissa.

However, finding a dominant husband isn’t all that easy because most modern men don’t have the initiative and strength to take over the leadership position in their relationship.

That is why numerous women ask themselves: “How to encourage my husband to be more dominant?

Como é que posso inspirar o meu homem a tornar-se no macho alfa de que preciso?

What can I do to become a submissive wife and to make my man the dominant one?”

Bem, a resposta a estas perguntas encontra-se abaixo.

If you’re a woman who is looking for ways to transform her man into a strong, power figure, just push him into following this step-by-step guide to building a dominant personality.

Como se tornar um marido dominante

If you’re a man looking for ways to gain control and dominance in your marriage, we have a solution for you!

All you have to do is follow this beginner’s guide for becoming the alpha in your relationship.

Trabalhar a sua autoestima

      

Ser um marido dominante significa muito mais do que ser o líder no seu casamento.

É muito mais do que ter um parceiro numa posição submissa que faz o que você diz e segue todas as suas ordens.

Em vez disso, este processo de se tornar um homem dominante inclui muitas coisas e a primeira delas é a alta autoestima.

No, this doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to turn into an egocentric, selfish asshole in order to take over the dominant role in your marriage.

However, you can’t expect your wife to admire you, trust you, and put her life into your hands if you’re a guy who has no or little confidence.

You can’t expect her to believe in your skills and abilities if you don’t have faith in yourself in the first place.

Most importantly , you can’t expect her to respect you until you start respecting yourself,, and you can’t wait for her to start seeing you as an alpha male before you perceive yourself in that way.

Não vale a pena tentar construir uma personalidade dominante se deixar que as suas inseguranças e medos levem a melhor sobre si.

For example, if you are constantly worried that your wife might leave you for a younger and more handsome guy who earns more than you do, you’ll project your fears on her, and she’ll notice that you see yourself as not enough.

Consequently, once she sees that you don’t value yourself, she’ll start questioning your worth, as well.

After a while, you’ll unwillingly convince her that she can really do better, and she’ll go and look for that better.

É por isso que tem de começar a trabalhar a sua autoimagem antes de tudo o resto.

You have to reprogram your brain into thinking that you’re the strongest, most capable, and most valuable man in this world.

Sim, se for necessário, tornar-se um pouco arrogante e convencido.

Apesar de este não ser o traço de personalidade mais desejável, a verdade é que a maioria das mulheres cai nessa armadilha, quer gostem de o admitir ou não.

This is especially important when you’re meeting a new girl. Show her that you have no doubt you’ll win her over but that you won’t humiliate yourself by begging her to be yours.

When you go out, act like you own the room. Make her realize that you’re perfectly aware of your numerous qualities and that there is nothing she could ever do to destroy your self-esteem.

I won’t lie to you—not a single person is at the peak of their confidence at all times.

However, the key is to pretend that you have faith in yourself, even when you don’t.

This doesn’t mean you should invent another personality just to be more likeable to the girls.

I’m just advising you to mask your insecurities. Do your best to act like they don’t exist when talking to the opposite sex, and with time, I assure you that they will really fade away.

Don’t let her change you

Let’s face it—when a woman enters a new relationship or gets married, she is likely to see it as a fresh project.

Provavelmente, ela vê-o como um filho que deve educar: ensina-o a comportar-se e ajuda-o a tornar-se o homem dos seus sonhos.

A maior parte dos homens aceita estas mudanças sem sequer ter consciência delas.

After all, they’re so crazy in love with their wives that they’re ready to do whatever it takes just to make them happy.

In fact, most husbands are convinced that the way to earning their better half’s respect and love is through meeting her every demand.

Nevertheless, what they don’t know is that they’re probably making the mistake of their lives and that behaving like this will never make them an macho alfa.  

However, when you’re a dominant man, you know who you are, and you’re not ready to change your ways to please your woman (because that would mean that you’re the submissive one).

You make it very clear to her that you are not an immature boy she can play with and that you don’t need a mother because you already have one.

You show her that you’re a fully formed individual who won’t allow anyone reshaping him.

Não está disposto a mudar a sua maneira de ser e a fazer quaisquer diferenças cruciais no âmago da sua personalidade só para ser mais simpático e amável para ela.

After all, she always has the choice of accepting you for who you are or to leave if she thinks you’re too much to handle.

Ela tem a opção de amar o seu verdadeiro eu ou de sair por aí e encontrar um rapaz que se encaixe nos seus padrões.

Sei que, à partida, esta abordagem parece demasiado arriscada.

You might be scared that your wife will really walk away on you if you don’t do as she tells you.

However, I assure you that your fears don’t have any solid ground.

Not only won’t she dump you, she will be impressed by the strength of your character and proud that she has a real man by her side.

Ser fisicamente mais forte

Let’s face it—physical appearance is the first thing we notice about everyone.

Sabes como é preciso sentirmo-nos atraídos por uma mulher antes de decidirmos avançar para ela?

Bem, o sexo oposto é o mesmo. E isto aplica-se especialmente quando se trata de domínio.

For a woman to see you as a dominant man, you have to show her that you’re able to physically dominate her.

I’m not saying that you should ever think of having an relação abusiva para mostrar a sua superioridade, porque isso é, sem dúvida, a coisa mais cobarde que um homem pode fazer.

I’m just telling you that you need to be physically stronger than her, so she can be able to perceive you as emotionally and mentally stronger as well.

Of course, the best case scenario would be if you’re already taller and physically bigger than your woman.

Desta forma, os seus instintos primários enviar-lhe-ão um sinal de que pode protegê-la e de que ela pode confiar em si.

However, if this is not already the case and if you’re shorter than your wife (which is something you can’t work on), there is still hope that one day, you will become a dominant man.

Ainda assim, pode ser melhor e melhorar a sua aparência. Antes de mais, vá ao ginásio e trabalhe os seus músculos.

Faça o seu melhor para desenvolver a sua força e certifique-se de que ela também se apercebe disso.

Start with the little things: open a jar for her, always carry the bags when you’re going grocery shopping, change her tire, and do other things which require physical strength.

No início, ela pode sentir-se ofendida pelo facto de a considerar incapaz e pode até tentar fazer tudo isto sozinha, só para lhe mostrar que é uma mulher independente e autossuficiente. doesn’t need a man para a ajudar.

No entanto, isso não é sinal de que deva desistir.

Trust me—before you know it, she’ll slowly start perceiving you as a dominant man, and she’ll subconsciously start taking over the submissive position and give you the dominant role in your marriage.

Ser dominante no quarto

When they hear words like submissiveness, dominance,  submissive positions, and D/S relationship, alot of people connect it an abusive relationship where the man hits the woman and where she doesn’t have a say in any decision making process or they connect it only with sex.

Imaginam um casal casado a praticar BDSM, conversa fiada, other kinky stuff and remember the movie “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

Afinal de contas, é para isto que aponta a maioria dos resultados no Google: BDSM e dominação debaixo dos lençóis.

Even though this is in no way true—because dominant relationship is much more than one person being subordinate in the bedroom—sex is a crucial part of this type of arrangement as well.

Por isso, se tenciona assumir um papel dominante no seu casamento, tem de assumir também um papel dominante na sua vida sexual.

Tem de ser o parceiro ativo, aquele que dita as regras e que dita o ritmo.

However, this is in no way a green light for you to do anything your submissive wife is not OK with because submissiveness doesn’t equal rape.

The fact that you’re husband and wife is irrelevant, and just because you’re a married couple, it doesn’t mean that you have the right to do anything she doesn’t feel like doing or that you are entitled to force her into having sex with you.

Ideias para sexo pervertido são uma coisa, mas o abuso sexual é algo completamente diferente, e deve ter sempre em mente que não deve ultrapassar essa linha.

Remember that consent is always crucial and that you can’t start doing anything without that.

Having a dominant-submissive sex doesn’t only mean BDSM and being cruel.

It doesn’t mean one side being a sadist and the other being a masochist, like you’ve seen it in “50 Shades Of Grey”.

O que significa ser dominante no quarto é assumir o controlo.

It means that you shouldn’t ask your submissive wife if she wants to have sex, can you have a blowjob or even can you kiss her because that is a huge turn off.

Em vez disso, pode incluir muita conversa porca antes da ação.

You can tell her things like: “I want you to wait for me in the bed completely naked; Prepare to be wetter than ever before; Come here and suck my dick right now!; You are not allowed to cum until I say so.”

Naturalmente, o contacto visual e o tom de voz são importantes neste caso.

You can’t show her that you’re scared of her rejection, and you need to act like you won’t accept ‘no’ for an answer.

Antes de mais, seja ele a iniciar o sexo. Além disso, se lhe apetecer mudar de posição debaixo dos lençóis, faça-o de forma a virá-la para o lado que quiser.

Não há nada de errado em puxar-lhe o cabelo ou bater-lhe.

You can also put her hand behind her back or above her head, so she feels like you’re in total control of everything that is about to happen.

Nenhum destes conselhos deve causar qualquer tipo de dor física ao seu parceiro.

Instead, they have a psychological effect which—besides helping you apimente a sua vida sexual—will help you become the dominant man you are.

Ser financeiramente estável

Se quer ter uma mulher submissa, tem de a sustentar e isso inclui mostrar-lhe que pode confiar em si no que diz respeito a finanças.

It doesn’t mean that a submissive wife has to necessarily quit her job or that she can’t work, but she needs to feel in the heart like you could maintain her if she ever decides to be a stay-at-home mum.

This way, if she doesn’t have to worry about the money, she’ll spend more time paying attention to your needs and finding ways to please you. 

Once a woman sees that you have a full-time job and that you’re capable of keeping her fed and dressed, she’ll be more willing to take over the submissive role which belongs to her.

Don’t get me wrong—this doesn’t mean you should casar um garimpeiro que só está interessado no seu dinheiro.

On the contrary, girls don’t actually look for a sugar daddy (despite what many people might think).

They look for a mature man who invests in his career and who doesn’t expect his woman to solve his financial problems.

You don’t have to even be a businessman or extremely successful in what you do.

Just show her that you have a work ethic, that you’re not lazy, and that you’re capable of being the breadwinner of your family.

Show her that you’re not afraid of taking an extra job for example if it happens that you two run out of cash.

Acima de tudo, mostre-lhe que pode dormir tranquilamente, sabendo que tudo será tratado e que ela nunca acabará na rua enquanto o tiver a si.

Comece por pagar sempre a conta quando sai, como um verdadeiro cavalheiro.

Continue a organizar as finanças da sua casa e a assumir a responsabilidade de fazer face às despesas até ao fim do mês.

Trust me—this is not about the money.

Trata-se de que a tua mulher submissa se sinta sã e salva ao teu lado.

It is about her listening to you when you say that you need to cut costs this month because she knows you’re saying it for the good of both of you and because she knows you’ve taken financial responsibility.

Trata-se de ela o ver como uma figura dominante que está no comando de todos os aspectos da vida.

Ser responsável

Outro aspeto crucial: nunca se pode tornar dominante sem assumir responsabilidades e ter capacidade de decisão.

You can’t expect your wife to be a submissive woman if she sees you as an immature brat who needs her hand to guide him through life.

No entanto, o que é que significa realmente ser responsável? Significa que o seu os actos têm de corresponder às suas palavras. Significa cumprir as suas promessas.

Significa ter um carácter firme. Significa não arranjar desculpas para os seus erros e não se justificar em todas as ocasiões possíveis.

Being responsible means standing behind everything you preach. It means taking responsibility for all the things you’ve done wrong and trying to make them right.

It means having a plan for the future and always knowing what you’re doing.

Significa atingir os seus objectivos e trabalhar arduamente para melhorar a sua vida.

Significa saber empenhar-se e dedicar-se às coisas que tem em mente.

Significa aceitar todas as consequências dos seus actos. Significa ser um empresário responsável, um filho responsável, um pai responsável, um amigo responsável e um marido responsável.

Significa ser um homem responsável e um ser humano responsável.

Trust me—these are all the qualities every woman admires and the things they look for in a life partner.

Ser decisivo

Ao tentar reinventar-se como um homem dominante, as suas capacidades de tomada de decisão são uma das primeiras coisas em que tem de trabalhar.

Antes de mais, é preciso saber o que se quer e não ter medo de o conseguir.

Além disso, a tua mulher submissa também tem de estar plenamente consciente disso.

She has to see that your decisions are always thoroughly thought through, that you’re a wise and intelligent man who is not just led by the heart or by his impulse,s and that she’ll never go wrong when she listens to you.

She needs to know that your decisions are never spontaneous and that you know what you’re doing at every given moment.

That your point of view is rarely wrong and even if you make a mistake-that you’ll be better and make things right, without her having to suffer any consequences whatsoever.

Além disso, o que também é importante é que deixe claro que todas as suas decisões são definitivas e que não há margem para as alterar.

Whatever you’re doing you’re doing it for the good of the both of you, and your submissive wife shouldn’t even try changing your mind or manipulating you to make a different decision regarding anything.

Isto pode parecer cruel, mas tens de lhe mostrar que sabes o que é melhor.

Yes, at first you’ll probably have to explain your moves to her, and she won’t accept the fact that you’re making all the decisions regarding your marriage.

No entanto, quando ela vir que tem o que é preciso e que tem a capacidade de ser um líder, she will be more than happy to not have to ‘crack open her mind’ about every little detail.  

Tornar-se o seu herói

Quer gostem de o admitir ou não, a verdade é que a maioria das mulheres tem necessidade de ser salva e que os homens têm necessidade de ser os seus salvadores, de uma forma ou de outra.

Ever since they were little girls, they’ve dreamt of their Prince Charming, coming on his white horse to their rescue.

They’ve dreamt of being Princesses who have a handsome and rich warrior next to them.

Passavam dias a tentar pôr-se o mais bonitas possível para ele e esperavam pacientemente que ele voltasse para casa.

Sim, isto é um conto de fadas e muitas coisas são diferentes quando se trata de encontros e casamentos modernos, mas será que tudo isto está assim tão longe da realidade?

Aren’t the Prince and Princess a married couple? Isn’t it true that the Prince is the breadwinner?

Isn’t the Princess a submissive wife who waits for him to make the first move, to win her over.

And to rescue her from all the evil? Don’t the two of them become husband and wife and isn’t the husband the alpha in their marriage?

Isn’t this ancient fabrication actually mirrored in today’s dominant man?

So, that is actually what you need to become in your wife’s eyes if you want to be an alpha man: her hero.

The one who will help her get out of all troubles life throws at her, the one who will be there to hold her hand while she’s overcoming all her challenges and difficulties, and the one who will not only wipe away her tears but also make sure she never cries.

Seja o seu herói em todos os sentidos da palavra: a primeira pessoa a quem ela recorre quando precisa de proteção física, a pessoa a quem ela pede sempre conselhos e alguém que, de alguma forma, consegue sempre aparecer no momento exato com uma varinha mágica para resolver todos os seus problemas.

Faça com que ela se sinta cuidada, seja a sua rocha e a sua força, e garanto-lhe que ela o deixará assumir a sua posição dominante num instante.

Mostre-lhe que pode confiar em si

Se uma pessoa é o alfa de uma relação, a outra tem de ter uma confiança ilimitada nela.

Isso significa que a sua mulher tem de acreditar em si e acreditar em si. Ela tem de ter a certeza da sua competência para ser o líder das vossas vidas.

She can’t doubt whether you’ll make the right choice or whether you’ll abandon her when she needs you the most.

She has to know that you’re trustworthy at all times and no matter what happens.

That you don’t chicken out at the first sign of trouble and that you won’t turn your back on her.

She has to see you as more than a lover—you have to be this woman’s melhor amigoanjo da guarda e protetor.

However, you can’t accomplish all of this by just asking her to trust you and put her life in your hand.

Instead, you have to prove that you’re worthy of this limitless trust you’re demanding, and that is a process which takes time and doesn’t happen overnight.

Over time, you have to show your wife that you really are there for her, that you’ll never do anything that might harm her, and that you would never, under no circumstances violate her trust.

She needs to feel comfortable around you; she has to know that you won’t ever judge her and that you’ll always stand by her side in front of others.

Ela precisa de ter a certeza de que pode revelar-lhe os seus segredos mais profundos sem receio de que os partilhe com mais alguém.

That you’ll be honest about her errors in the privacy of your own home but that you’ll always defend her in front of the world, no matter how powerful a force you have to stand up against.

You have to show her you meant everything you said in your wedding wows: that you’ll have her back through thick and thin, through sickness and health, and through good and bad days.

Quando o conseguir, ela verá que merece realmente o papel de macho dominante.

Assumir o controlo

All of the steps mentioned above are of no use for you if you don’t learn how to take charge in every moment of your marriage.

É claro que o mais importante é desenvolver a capacidade de tomar decisões rápidas e inteligentes em momentos de risco, mas há centenas de outras situações em que o facto de estar no comando também é importante.

For example, when you two are deciding about what to eat, don’t wait an hour for her to pick what she feels like having. Instead, suggest something right away.

However, don’t tell her: “What do you think about having pizza?”

Instead, just tell her “We’ll have pizza.”

Don’t worry—you’re not endangering her in any way with this because she’ll surely protest if that is something she doesn’t like.

Instead, you’re just helping her decide and showing her that you’re in control.

When you’re taking her out or buying her a birthday present, don’t wait for her to tell you where she’d like to go or what she’d like to get.

Em vez disso, surpreenda-a com uma mesa já reservada e com a compra de algo que sabe que ela gostaria de ter.

O mesmo se aplica ao planeamento das suas férias, dos seus passatempos ou do seu tempo livre.

Whatever you do, make sure she knows you’re serious about it and that your decisions are final.

Seja sempre firme quando falar com ela e mantenha-se firme contacto visual because that will show her you’re confident and secure.

Ao fim de algum tempo, a sua mulher verá que é você quem realmente usa as calças em casa.

And guess what: she’ll like it more than anything!